Depression

[Stellaboz]

Good luck with getting some help mate. Some of the some boy crowd sound like they need ditching tbh.

If you can, surround yourself with smart and supportive people rather than fannies. 

 

[scottsdad]

1 hour ago, Mr. Alli said:

I took the first steps today to trying to be put into a rehab program. Will find more out tomorrow when "the doctor you spoke to previously as in, so there is some continuity in your situation".

Another 14g this past 4 days and I've no idea why I keep on doing it. The "Hahahaha you're some boy" crowd are getting right on my tits too.

I'm actively trying to leave my current role as well now. I have a new career lined up but it's something like 17 weeks away.

Very best of luck with this. 

[Richey Edwards]

3 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

Another 14g this past 4 days and I've no idea why I keep on doing it. The "Hahahaha you're some boy" crowd are getting right on my tits too.

From experience, having problems in your life shows you who your real friends are.

The people who I used to get fucked up with do not speak to me anymore.  That's no loss. 

[SweeperDee]

3 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

I took the first steps today to trying to be put into a rehab program. Will find more out tomorrow when "the doctor you spoke to previously as in, so there is some continuity in your situation".

Another 14g this past 4 days and I've no idea why I keep on doing it. The "Hahahaha you're some boy" crowd are getting right on my tits too.

I'm actively trying to leave my current role as well now. I have a new career lined up but it's something like 17 weeks away.

Sympathise with you fully, chief. It's hard, but get those "some boy" enablers to f**k. Tough if you consider them friends but you don't need them in your life just now. I've done the same and it's helped a lot. Give me a DM if you're wanting info about rehab/other programmes. 

[Raidernation]

I took the first steps today to trying to be put into a rehab program. Will find more out tomorrow when "the doctor you spoke to previously as in, so there is some continuity in your situation".
Another 14g this past 4 days and I've no idea why I keep on doing it. The "Hahahaha you're some boy" crowd are getting right on my tits too.
I'm actively trying to leave my current role as well now. I have a new career lined up but it's something like 17 weeks away.

I have had more than one spell in rehab (failure to remain sober after is 100% on me) but I feel there is a difference this time (3 months and counting)
My advice is to dive into all aspects of the treatment you get there, even if you think it’s “daft”, as there is a reason for it all.

As others have said (and you’ll definitely hear this mantra) look to change the people, places and things that “trigger” your use.

Feel free to PM me anytime

[Daydream]

I took the first steps today to trying to be put into a rehab program. Will find more out tomorrow when "the doctor you spoke to previously as in, so there is some continuity in your situation".
Another 14g this past 4 days and I've no idea why I keep on doing it. The "Hahahaha you're some boy" crowd are getting right on my tits too.
I'm actively trying to leave my current role as well now. I have a new career lined up but it's something like 17 weeks away.

Good luck with your situation. You probably will need to distance yourself from some of friends/associates if you are serious about getting on to a cleaner path.

Tomorrow sees me hit 150 days ‘sober’. I have a sober counting app that can be motivational at times [emoji3]

It’s quite the cliche in alcohol/drug abuse circles but getting clean probably won’t be a panacea. I’m still a depressed, stressed, over worked, temperamental tube half the time but at least I’m not drunk all weekend and hungover half the week. Also little improvements here and there can add up. A little exercise, eating better, sleeping better etc.

[grazza]

Been a while since I posted here. I think its more anxiety that I am struggling with at the moment.  Situation with work I have at the moment is really a no win scenario. Started this job in September and its decent enough not too stressful, set hours etc. Though couple months into the job I find out I'm there as someone was off on long term sick, never told this when offered the job, nothing mentioned in my contract. I without blowing me own trumpet have down a good job and they were impressed with me but was only when I found out about colleague off sick that they said they were looking to expand that area of the business and my job is secure and indeed passed probation and have set contract. 

Said colleague is now back and was off for cancer treatment which I can't imagine how difficult was and everyone including myself making sure their welcomed back and assistance as they gradually increase towards normal hours.  Then my role is suppose to involve more projects which frankly they have not really defined yet. My colleague back a couple months now I think is doing what they can to undermine me and make me look bad in front of others. We share same workload and when I ask if something has been done so obvious it is not unnecessarily duplicated I get responded to as if I'm an idiot. If people from other parts of business come in and ask us questions I get spoken over by this colleague as if my opinion doesn't matter. There is few other things that I gave benefit of the doubt but does seem to be an attempt to push me out. 

My line manager is on holiday this week so will just need to speak to them next week and see if there is another role they can find me. Just not happy that I only find out after leaving another job for this that I'm basically insurance for them so if colleague didn't come back from leave they had someone there ready but not made me aware that was why I was there.  I'm quite good at interviews so I suppose I can get something elsewhere but huger step back when I though I had something steady I could  do least for a couple years. I play scenarios in my head and all I can do is not publicly say or do anything and I'll just see what my manager has to say.  Called in sick today, do feel run down but just exhausted and think I just need relief of getting out of this situation.

[DA Baracus]

Your colleague having cancer doesn't give them an excuse to be a dick, nor should it shield them from being telt if needed.

Sounds like speaking with your manager in the first instance is the best idea. Taking the time off you need is a good shout too.

It's a shitter of a situation but sounds like you can get something else if needed, and hopefully won't be too much of a pain if needed.

[scottsdad]

1 hour ago, grazza said:

Been a while since I posted here. I think its more anxiety that I am struggling with at the moment.  Situation with work I have at the moment is really a no win scenario. Started this job in September and its decent enough not too stressful, set hours etc. Though couple months into the job I find out I'm there as someone was off on long term sick, never told this when offered the job, nothing mentioned in my contract. I without blowing me own trumpet have down a good job and they were impressed with me but was only when I found out about colleague off sick that they said they were looking to expand that area of the business and my job is secure and indeed passed probation and have set contract. 

Said colleague is now back and was off for cancer treatment which I can't imagine how difficult was and everyone including myself making sure their welcomed back and assistance as they gradually increase towards normal hours.  Then my role is suppose to involve more projects which frankly they have not really defined yet. My colleague back a couple months now I think is doing what they can to undermine me and make me look bad in front of others. We share same workload and when I ask if something has been done so obvious it is not unnecessarily duplicated I get responded to as if I'm an idiot. If people from other parts of business come in and ask us questions I get spoken over by this colleague as if my opinion doesn't matter. There is few other things that I gave benefit of the doubt but does seem to be an attempt to push me out. 

My line manager is on holiday this week so will just need to speak to them next week and see if there is another role they can find me. Just not happy that I only find out after leaving another job for this that I'm basically insurance for them so if colleague didn't come back from leave they had someone there ready but not made me aware that was why I was there.  I'm quite good at interviews so I suppose I can get something elsewhere but huger step back when I though I had something steady I could  do least for a couple years. I play scenarios in my head and all I can do is not publicly say or do anything and I'll just see what my manager has to say.  Called in sick today, do feel run down but just exhausted and think I just need relief of getting out of this situation.

One thing that struck me here was the possibility that your colleague is being a bit of a bellend because they are feeling threatened. They fell ill, went off sick and came back to find you doing their job and doing it well. Much of this reaction to you might be because your colleague feels that their nose is out of joint here. 

I had a similar situation many years ago. 

Not for a second excusing this behaviour - it is very wrong. But I would agree that you need to speak to your line manager. It seems that the company values you as they are looking to give you new projects. They like you, you passed probation. What you need is some clarity from the company/line manager about your future direction. 

Best of luck with all this.

[Guest Wieghortsnut]

Never really had much issues with mental health over my 35 years up until the last 4 months. Certain things have happened outwith my control and my actions during the fallout have made things worse, like ripping my happy family apart. As it stands I only get my 3 kids a couple of times a week, im out of the family home and turning to things that I shouldn't to numb the pain. 

I have no idea if im depressed or what, but I cant keep feeling like this much longer. I hardly sleep, I dont eat much, I barely speak to anyone nowadays except posting shite on here about dundee or my dog.

Things can only get better??

 

[Loonytoons]

Never really had much issues with mental health over my 35 years up until the last 4 months. Certain things have happened outwith my control and my actions during the fallout have made things worse, like ripping my happy family apart. As it stands I only get my 3 kids a couple of times a week, im out of the family home and turning to things that I shouldn't to numb the pain. 
I have no idea if im depressed or what, but I cant keep feeling like this much longer. I hardly sleep, I dont eat much, I barely speak to anyone nowadays except posting shite on here about dundee or my dog.
Things can only get better??
 

Aye, they can and will get better.
You're describing depression fairly well in your post.
If you've access to an employment assistance programme, use it. If not, see if there is a local group where you can talk about it with other folk.

[carpetmonster]

4 hours ago, Wieghortsnut said:

Never really had much issues with mental health over my 35 years up until the last 4 months. Certain things have happened outwith my control and my actions during the fallout have made things worse, like ripping my happy family apart. As it stands I only get my 3 kids a couple of times a week, im out of the family home and turning to things that I shouldn't to numb the pain. 

I have no idea if im depressed or what, but I cant keep feeling like this much longer. I hardly sleep, I dont eat much, I barely speak to anyone nowadays except posting shite on here about dundee or my dog.

Things can only get better??

 

They can't *only* get better (unfortunately) but the key one to remember is 'this too shall pass'. 

[Venti]

15 hours ago, Wieghortsnut said:

Never really had much issues with mental health over my 35 years up until the last 4 months. Certain things have happened outwith my control and my actions during the fallout have made things worse, like ripping my happy family apart. As it stands I only get my 3 kids a couple of times a week, im out of the family home and turning to things that I shouldn't to numb the pain. 

I have no idea if im depressed or what, but I cant keep feeling like this much longer. I hardly sleep, I dont eat much, I barely speak to anyone nowadays except posting shite on here about dundee or my dog.

Things can only get better??

 

Nobody's an expert on this shitefest depression.

Plenty of folk on here to talk to.

Hitting the drink isn't helping. DM me if you want.

[Derry Alli]

It's not depression I have, it's a death wish. Another 14gram this weekend and I'm lay in bed crying my fucking eyes out. I'm physically and mentally done with this shit. I don't have the fortitude to do it but I'm obviously trying my fucking hardest out with.

[Guest Wieghortsnut]

26 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

It's not depression I have, it's a death wish. Another 14gram this weekend and I'm lay in bed crying my fucking eyes out. I'm physically and mentally done with this shit. I don't have the fortitude to do it but I'm obviously trying my fucking hardest out with.

Thats my issue bro, powder

[Bert Raccoon]

59 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

It's not depression I have, it's a death wish. Another 14gram this weekend and I'm lay in bed crying my fucking eyes out. I'm physically and mentally done with this shit. I don't have the fortitude to do it but I'm obviously trying my fucking hardest out with.

I'm no one to give advice, I've plenty of my own issues but you're a good guy. I'd go see a doctor or at least seek out sole sort of help or even just speak to a mate. It's a neverending cycle and you need to find a way out of it. I've been there (probably still partially am in fairness) but things will get better. Always here if you need a chat or anything 

[Derry Alli]

I've text my gaffer and took a couple days off. Messages a few folk I love and cherish dearly but hardly see nowadays (life) and I am going to go and meet up with them for a coffee. I am still all over the place but the feeling of getting to see someone I truly love is keeping me on an even keel.

[energyzone]

It's not depression I have, it's a death wish. Another 14gram this weekend and I'm lay in bed crying my fucking eyes out. I'm physically and mentally done with this shit. I don't have the fortitude to do it but I'm obviously trying my fucking hardest out with.

Thats my issue bro, powder

At least you guys admit that you have a problem - it's an important first step and you deserve credit for opening up about it, even if it's anonymously on this forum.

I don't know if your issues are because of the drugs or that they are just one of the symptoms. Either way, they clearly aren't helping. This thread is a safe haven - we are all supportive and some decent advice is given out on a regular basis. I don't have any personal experience with drug misuse unfortunately (or fortunately), but I've met enough addicts during the course of my career to know that there is plenty of help out there. And I don't just mean from the NHS - I mean from people who have been in your position, or are in your position who can help. Hopefully someone on here has a bit of experience with this kind of thing and can offer some words of wisdom or signpost you to somewhere helpful.

But please post if you are struggling, it helps to talk, even to strangers on the internet. I'm sorry you're going through a really hard time and I hope it gets better for you soon.

[Moomintroll]

33 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've text my gaffer and took a couple days off. Messages a few folk I love and cherish dearly but hardly see nowadays (life) and I am going to go and meet up with them for a coffee. I am still all over the place but the feeling of getting to see someone I truly love is keeping me on an even keel.

Dele lad, I am a fine one to talk given my issues with alcohol abuse, but you clearly know that the ching is not helping you and that you want to break the cycle. It's a hard step to seek help but you will do it, we are all numpties on here but stick with us for the light relief while the pro's do their thing and help you out.

[johnnydun]

1 hour ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've text my gaffer and took a couple days off. Messages a few folk I love and cherish dearly but hardly see nowadays (life) and I am going to go and meet up with them for a coffee. I am still all over the place but the feeling of getting to see someone I truly love is keeping me on an even keel.

PM'd you mate.