Depression

[FK1Bairn]

4 hours ago, TxRover said:

I can’t say, but I would expect that a return to the environment you were previously in, even with adaptations and changes, would likely come with a wee bit of a let down because “everything” hasn’t magically changed. Things take time to work through and there is, in todays society, an (unrealistic) expectation of immediate results.

The question is how is your battle with the feeling that drove this? I would certainly consider checking back in with a MHN or you prescriber if you feel anything is truly unusual in your reaction.

I know you're right and I'm maybe overthinking things and expecting things to be back to normal quicker than they're going to be. To be fair to my bosses there's been no pressure from them and I can't complain about the support I've had, I'm probably more concerned than i should be about what my colleagues think about me returning and not having the same workload as them. 

[TxRover]

7 hours ago, FK1Bairn said:

I know you're right and I'm maybe overthinking things and expecting things to be back to normal quicker than they're going to be. To be fair to my bosses there's been no pressure from them and I can't complain about the support I've had, I'm probably more concerned than i should be about what my colleagues think about me returning and not having the same workload as them. 

That’s normal, and is your bosses issue. As much as we ignore it, unequal workload occurs all the time, and there are often reasons for it. You can’t worry about what “they” are thinking when your focus is on what YOU are thinking and feeling. Those who aren’t brain dead realise something happened/has happened, is being addressed and wish you well…those others you can ignore the opinion of, much as your bosses will.

Dig in, it’s a long (and often bumpy) road that you’re on, but it’s much superior to inaction. You’ve already learnt some coping skills in this process, and hopefully are getting more, use them intelligently. Don’t try to analyse other people’s behaviour for responses to your worries and troubles, it’s too easy to get that nasty hamster of self doubt and questioning back on the wheel spinning in your head when you speculate to worry. Instead, know that most people genuinely care, even the Pars fans!

[RH33]

Things aren't easy at moment.

[TxRover]

1 hour ago, RH33 said:

Things aren't easy at moment.

Speak for yourself, I’m extremely easy!

However, speak…rant…yell…question…we’ll all listen, and you’ll feel better. Of course, if it’s car input needed, we’re not doing real well.

[The Moonster]

On 27/08/2023 at 08:17, FK1Bairn said:

I know you're right and I'm maybe overthinking things and expecting things to be back to normal quicker than they're going to be. To be fair to my bosses there's been no pressure from them and I can't complain about the support I've had, I'm probably more concerned than i should be about what my colleagues think about me returning and not having the same workload as them. 

In my last job I returned to work with minimal duties and I found all but one of my colleagues was supportive and helpful. There might be one or two who think you're at it just for a lighter workload but I would be shocked if you aren't supported by a majority of your colleagues regardless if they're picking up some extra work. The alternative is you not being there at all and them doing all the work! 

The worry is always worse than reality with these things. Forget about others for a while and concentrate on getting yourself back into a healthy cycle. 

[scottsdad]

11 hours ago, RH33 said:

Things aren't easy at moment.

Hope things get better soon - and we're all here if you need to vent. 

[Jacksgranda]

12 hours ago, RH33 said:

Things aren't easy at moment.

Hang in there

[Jacksgranda]

On 04/09/2023 at 23:58, RH33 said:

Things aren't easy at moment.

Any better?

[RH33]

5 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

Any better?

Meh. But at least the washing is done now!

[alta-pete]

2 hours ago, RH33 said:

Meh. But at least the washing is done now!

You’ll get a guid washing hung out the day. 

[RH33]

1 hour ago, alta-pete said:

You’ll get a guid washing hung out the day. 

Couldn't be arsed today!

[TxRover]

Last night it finally clicked. I had spent years suppressing my feelings and concerns because of a societal construct and expectations. Someone, who likely was as messed up as I had become, was using those norms to twist me into actions and behaviors that were counterproductive and against my goals and beliefs. It’s very easy to allow yourself to simply follow the herd these days, but it’s more important than ever that you don’t submerge who you are in order to become someone you aren’t.

It feels like a new world, not seeing everything through an unfocused lens, struggling to do what you get told is “right” and “proper”. To suddenly realize that you’ve been gaslighted for years, and hear others saying the same thing but they didn’t want to talk to you because you seemed “content” is jarring. Don’t be the person who sees this and just says “it’s what they want”. Make sure and take the time to talk to someone you know who seems adrift of their values, you just might save them the mess I’ve be through.

[Raidernation]

Stuck at home 24/7 (apart from when some kind soul can take me to an appointment), following doctor/PT orders. "Exercise, wlk around the apartment, do stretches etc. but don't go out without someone there just in case (fall risk)" and still not allowed to drive (not sure how I'd cope wearing a seat belt anyway)

Getting a bit stir crazy and overwhelmed with the ludicrous "insurance" system here. It's actually costing me more now than when I was paying the deductions from my pay, at this rate I won't be able to pay rent, car loan and insurance or buy much food! It's a fucking nightmare.

I'm struggling but I do get support from some friends and family, and I remind myself that it could be a lot worse, wasn't exactly given a great chance of surviving surgery so at least I'm still here, living and breathing!

Sorry to whine but I needed to let it out, thank you for this thread!

[TxRover]

On 22/09/2023 at 09:34, Raidernation said:

Stuck at home 24/7 (apart from when some kind soul can take me to an appointment), following doctor/PT orders. "Exercise, wlk around the apartment, do stretches etc. but don't go out without someone there just in case (fall risk)" and still not allowed to drive (not sure how I'd cope wearing a seat belt anyway)

Getting a bit stir crazy and overwhelmed with the ludicrous "insurance" system here. It's actually costing me more now than when I was paying the deductions from my pay, at this rate I won't be able to pay rent, car loan and insurance or buy much food! It's a fucking nightmare.

I'm struggling but I do get support from some friends and family, and I remind myself that it could be a lot worse, wasn't exactly given a great chance of surviving surgery so at least I'm still here, living and breathing!

Sorry to whine but I needed to let it out, thank you for this thread!

If you're lucky, your catastrophic limit might help soon…and if you like the morbid humour, at least you had the good taste to get I’ll in the middle of the year, so you don’t find yourself halfway through treatment suddenly having to meet a whole bunch of reset deductibles! I’d strongly recommend checking into a local food pantry to see if they can give you a little hand until things stabilize again. There’s also a possibility of your auto insurance company reducing rates if you cant drive for a while and/or if your yearly average miles driven has fallen significantly. If the auto loan is through a smaller bank or credit union, they often have plans that allow a skipped payment or two…it isn’t free as it just tacks onto the back end of the loan, but it helps when you need it.

Edited September 23, 2023 by TxRover

[Venti]

17 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Stuck at home 24/7 (apart from when some kind soul can take me to an appointment), following doctor/PT orders. "Exercise, wlk around the apartment, do stretches etc. but don't go out without someone there just in case (fall risk)" and still not allowed to drive (not sure how I'd cope wearing a seat belt anyway)

Getting a bit stir crazy and overwhelmed with the ludicrous "insurance" system here. It's actually costing me more now than when I was paying the deductions from my pay, at this rate I won't be able to pay rent, car loan and insurance or buy much food! It's a fucking nightmare.

I'm struggling but I do get support from some friends and family, and I remind myself that it could be a lot worse, wasn't exactly given a great chance of surviving surgery so at least I'm still here, living and breathing!

Sorry to whine but I needed to let it out, thank you for this thread!

Stay strong mate. Just focus on getting recovered & take it from there.

 

[Moomintroll]

It does not excuse anything I say or do on here but I am really struggling just now and I have no idea why. I have the easiest job imaginable and have zero money worries but I am constantly catasrophising & blaming myself for things that have not happened for no reason. I just want to be able to chill out & relax but my brain keeps picking faults continously 24/7, does anyone else have these issues or am I just an utter fruitloop?

[Venti]

18 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:

It does not excuse anything I say or do on here but I am really struggling just now and I have no idea why. I have the easiest job imaginable and have zero money worries but I am constantly catasrophising & blaming myself for things that have not happened for no reason. I just want to be able to chill out & relax but my brain keeps picking faults continously 24/7, does anyone else have these issues or am I just an utter fruitloop?

I'm constantly broke & have a hard job. Probable fruitloop as well.

I don't think there's a set playbook about mental health. I wish I had the answers, but there's a bunch of people better suited to give you advice.

That's the best thing about this thread.

[Guest DannyBlue]

48 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:

It does not excuse anything I say or do on here but I am really struggling just now and I have no idea why. I have the easiest job imaginable and have zero money worries but I am constantly catasrophising & blaming myself for things that have not happened for no reason. I just want to be able to chill out & relax but my brain keeps picking faults continously 24/7, does anyone else have these issues or am I just an utter fruitloop?

I get that too often sadly.

I tend to find it's a result of boredom or generally feeling understimulated which is weird because it leads me to feeling knackered so the last thing I want to do is more things that will stimulate me. Usually, I find even doing a few small things that are different can make a fairly big difference, for example, going for a coffee somewhere new or going to the cinema. Doesn't really matter what it is as long as its enjoyable, different from the usual routine but isn't a hassle to organise.

Although obviously, you'll know your own life better than me so maybe what I'm saying doesn't apply. Either way good luck, it's crap feeling like that.



 

[TxRover]

1 hour ago, Moomintroll said:

It does not excuse anything I say or do on here but I am really struggling just now and I have no idea why. I have the easiest job imaginable and have zero money worries but I am constantly catasrophising & blaming myself for things that have not happened for no reason. I just want to be able to chill out & relax but my brain keeps picking faults continously 24/7, does anyone else have these issues or am I just an utter fruitloop?

I call it hamster wheeling…that situation where you get stuck, feeling like you’re running on an exercise wheel and getting nowhere. Had that intermittently the last few days as I’ve had to take some action I didn’t want to, and now I keep reflecting upon it and replaying the choices and decisions. It’s been brutal to my sleep regime…so, no, you’re not alone.

[Moomintroll]

Thanks all, I really do not want feel like this but I cant shake it off.