Tinder

[Jambomo]

I agree about the photo thing, when I was on it there are a lot of guys I matched with who looked like they made no effort at all in the profile pics - by that I mean pictures of them in tracksuits sitting on the couch or worse, pics of them taken in bed/bathroom etc. Just look smart and try and look like you have some hobbies/interests. 

Don’t be one of those guys who moans about having to have a conversation with some one first. The whole “I don’t want a pen-pal”thing. We are not meeting up with a strange guy off the internet without getting some basic information from him and unwillingness to have a chat first won’t help you. 

[Central Belt Caley]

9 hours ago, effeffsee_the2nd said:

A depressingly high number of male users are complete wankstains, simply being respectful to women goes a long way.

This 100%, I’ve been on a few dates and chatted with a few girls who’ve said they’ve spoken to guys on Tinder moved over to Instagram/Snapchat/Whatsapp etc and within 10 minutes the guys have sent pics of their banger. 
 

I’ve been using Hinge too which is pretty decent, bit of a different vibe to Tinder but does the job.

[Busta Nut]

b*****d b*****d, women love a b*****d
b*****d b*****d, women love a b*****d
I quickened up my pelvic thrusts so I can climax faster
Then I have a fag and fall asleep cos women love a b*****d

[velo army]

6 hours ago, Jambomo said:

I agree about the photo thing, when I was on it there are a lot of guys I matched with who looked like they made no effort at all in the profile pics - by that I mean pictures of them in tracksuits sitting on the couch or worse, pics of them taken in bed/bathroom etc. Just look smart and try and look like you have some hobbies/interests. 

Don’t be one of those guys who moans about having to have a conversation with some one first. The whole “I don’t want a pen-pal”thing. We are not meeting up with a strange guy off the internet without getting some basic information from him and unwillingness to have a chat first won’t help you. 

I'm one of those guys tbh. After a certain amount of conversation I know I want to meet up, and there are many, many women out there who aren't interested in meeting up but instead want to flirt and chat by text in perpetuity. A line has to be drawn due to the sheer amount of time wasters. If we've been chatting and I can tell that you're fun, intelligent and there's perhaps some flirty chemistry already, then I will ask to meet up. 

A cafe in a populous city centre or even a video call seems to be a safe way to meet a "strange guy" off the internet.

[Jambomo]

31 minutes ago, velo army said:

I'm one of those guys tbh. After a certain amount of conversation I know I want to meet up, and there are many, many women out there who aren't interested in meeting up but instead want to flirt and chat by text in perpetuity. A line has to be drawn due to the sheer amount of time wasters. If we've been chatting and I can tell that you're fun, intelligent and there's perhaps some flirty chemistry already, then I will ask to meet up. 

A cafe in a populous city centre or even a video call seems to be a safe way to meet a "strange guy" off the internet.

Yeah in fairness there is a balance, I don’t expect a guy to be just messaging and never meet up. I meant more the ones who are like one or two messages and then are like “let’s meet up” before you know anything about them or even whether you have anything in common.

I had one guy who did that and despite knowing it was a bad idea, I went for a coffee with him. It was awful, we had nothing in common to talk about and I felt like I was there to get assessed to see if he’d sleep with me or not tbh. Gross.  

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

My top tips for success are being 6’3, working for a large investment bank and being a home owner. 

[velo army]

33 minutes ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

My top tips for success are being 6’3, working for a large investment bank and being a home owner. 

I once dated a woman who was 6'4''. It was odd having to be the one to go on my tiptoes to kiss (and at 5'11" I'm not exactly a shortarse). A humbling experience. 

She wasn't a merchant banker and didn't own her home. This may be where it all foundered.

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

 

17 minutes ago, velo army said:

I once dated a woman who was 6'4''. It was odd having to be the one to go on my tiptoes to kiss (and at 5'11" I'm not exactly a shortarse). A humbling experience. 

She wasn't a merchant banker and didn't own her home. This may be where it all foundered.

Would recommend rounding this to 6 foot on your profile. Also worth mentioning that you’re a prominent poster on the Pie and Bovril football forum and have accumulated 3000 green dots (rounded up).

[Florentine_Pogen]

30 minutes ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

 

Would recommend rounding this to 6 foot on your profile. Also worth mentioning that you’re a prominent poster on the Pie and Bovril football forum and have accumulated 3000 green dots (rounded up).

......and is the proud owner of an 11" penis, rounded up. (Oh, come on, FFS, somebody had to do it................)

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

Just now, Florentine_Pogen said:

......and is the proud owner of an 11" penis, rounded up. (Oh, come on, FFS, somebody had to do it................)

Would recommend not mentioning penises in your bio - women tend to find it somewhat creepy.

[parsforlife]

2 hours ago, velo army said:

(at 5’whatever” I'm exactly a shortarse).

FTFY

[velo army]

3 hours ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

 

Would recommend rounding this to 6 foot on your profile. Also worth mentioning that you’re a prominent poster on the Pie and Bovril football forum and have accumulated 3000 green dots (rounded up).

Honestly man I put 7'5" for my height on tinder as women tend to get a wee bit too hung up on height. It's a decent conversation piece too.

Never thought about my P n B membership. @Jambomo is 3000 greenies enough to make you swipe right or would I need to win the Deadpool too?

[Bert Raccoon]

I found mentioning you support a shite Scottish football team garners a certain amount of sympathy 

Spoiler

You support who?

 

[Jambomo]

41 minutes ago, velo army said:

Honestly man I put 7'5" for my height on tinder as women tend to get a wee bit too hung up on height. It's a decent conversation piece too.

Never thought about my P n B membership. @Jambomo is 3000 greenies enough to make you swipe right or would I need to win the Deadpool too?

Just don’t be wearing a Rangers top. Those are automatic left swipes!

['WellDel]

3 hours ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

......and is the proud owner of an 11" penis, rounded up. (Oh, come on, FFS, somebody had to do it................)

11" rounded up? What size is that b*****d when it's standing straight?

[Thistle_do_nicely]

Thank you all for the replies. I've paid up, regular gold membership for now, 12 months, f**k it. If it works and I meet some nice lassies on it then great, if it doesn't then f**k it, I've got plenty to sort out to keep me busy and a few things to look forward to over the coming year anyway.

Nearly went for platinum but ech, didn't seem all that much of a difference for the sake of an extra £2 a month.

18 hours ago, effeffsee_the2nd said:

The short answer to this is yes.

gold won't make anyone more attracted to you but it will allow you to get the best outcome from those who do.

There are a huge amount of time wasters on the app and a good 70 % of matches will not engage in any meaningful conversation with you, either completely ignored or a few replies then getting " ghosted" - when they stop replying to you

Gold allows you to see who has liked your profile before you decide to match with them or not, and they don't know how long you have known about this for, I called this the waiting room,  (one of them could end up being your wife, just think about that) 

by leaving potential matches in the waiting room, you can manage them much more easily, without this feature you could end up matching with someone when your at work or busy away from your phone and hours have passed before you can send a message - by that point the girl has lost interest and moved on ( remember , woman get around 10 times as many likes as blokes) 

the most amount of conversations you can manage at once is about 3 - you will still have all your other phone related distractions going on,  go to your pages of likes, select 2 or 3 at a time and chat with them, those who don't reply or are obviously going nowhere can be binned in short order where as you can dedicate the time necessary to go from ice breaking to meeting with ones who do actually engage and all this time the others can wait their turn. 

if all of these were done just by swiping and matching, you could end up with too many conversations at once and you run the risk of wasting time chasing a lost cause whilst a genuine chance slips away because you are distracted in other conversations.

Couple of other hints;

get a woman you know -trusted friend or family member to take your pictures and even pick what your wearing in them will make a huge difference, a selfie on the couch won't cut it

A depressingly high number of male users are complete wankstains, simply being respectful to women goes a long way.

you absolutely cannot afford to be timid or shy - someone else will come and take her attention from under you

it can be hard to pick a main course when there's a buffet

 

 

weebeyfromthewireshocked.gif at the bit in bold. I hadn't thought of it that way.

Ohhh wait, goes both ways then. I got a match the other day at about 11pm from a girl that I'm sure I had liked about a week before, I had put that down to some kind of a time delay for being a free user but maybe its not (at least not solely that anyway)

Interesting, think i get the (other) bit in bold at the end now too.

Cheers for the thought out post. I am, if nothing else, not a total wankstain (not all the time anyway) and tbh I've been pretty courteous so far. f**k knows how my profile comes over right now, I've made tiny adjustments to it as I've gone along. Hard balance between being fair and letting folk know a bit about me vs. keeping quiet about certain things, but I lean towards just facing up to things and being honest.

I've got "trying to quit" on there for my smoker status so I've literally started using it as my own personal stop smoking app ive got a wee line on my profile at the end, was something like "finally aff the fags, 96 hours and counting!". Might be someone out there that sees that and has packed in the cigs and takes an interest in that, worst case scenario I'm using it to keep track of exactly how long I've been smoke free, im getting my moneys worth out of the damn thing at least, ha.

13 hours ago, Jambomo said:

I agree about the photo thing, when I was on it there are a lot of guys I matched with who looked like they made no effort at all in the profile pics - by that I mean pictures of them in tracksuits sitting on the couch or worse, pics of them taken in bed/bathroom etc. Just look smart and try and look like you have some hobbies/interests. 

Don’t be one of those guys who moans about having to have a conversation with some one first. The whole “I don’t want a pen-pal”thing. We are not meeting up with a strange guy off the internet without getting some basic information from him and unwillingness to have a chat first won’t help you. 

haha yeah wouldnt that be terrible haha totally didnt just remove a couple of photos from my profile haha

na but more genuinely, I've had a swatch through my phone again and picked the best photos I could, the first few are alright (luckily recent + a found a good couple to put on it from my brothers wedding, so I at least looked suited up/dressed to impress) and one from a night out that I really love, but its slim pickings. f**k it, I'm working on a "can only pish with what I've got" here, hopefully the first few pics are good enough.

9 hours ago, Central Belt Caley said:

This 100%, I’ve been on a few dates and chatted with a few girls who’ve said they’ve spoken to guys on Tinder moved over to Instagram/Snapchat/Whatsapp etc and within 10 minutes the guys have sent pics of their banger. 
 

I’ve been using Hinge too which is pretty decent, bit of a different vibe to Tinder but does the job.

That's somewhat depressing, I legit just want a nice chat with a nice girl over the festive period.

And no, I'm *not* calling fucking Babestation, thank you very much all the same.

5 hours ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

My top tips for success are being 6’3, working for a large investment bank and being a home owner. 

 

4 hours ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

 

Would recommend rounding this to 6 foot on your profile. Also worth mentioning that you’re a prominent poster on the Pie and Bovril football forum and have accumulated 3000 green dots (rounded up).

unironically just rounded up my height to 6'0 from 5'11 on mine after this, lmao

Still feels dirty even lying (im a bit too much of a Ned Flanders at times tbh) so I think I've put it as summat like "I'm juuuuust about 6'0 tall"

 

Thank you all again. I'll try to update the thread on my luck/lack thereof and the Wid status of any future tinder dates (real or fabricated)

Early days yet.

Edited December 16, 2022 by Thistle_do_nicely

[Amarillo Bairn]

17 minutes ago, Jambomo said:

Just don’t be wearing a Rangers top. Those are automatic left swipes!

So Is the "Ghril just looking for her Bhoy", Tbh, it's a swipe left from them aswell as the Rangers tops 

[Thistle_do_nicely]

im kind of assuming that super likes work on some kind of "oh wow this guy must genuinely really like my profile and doesnt just want a pump n' dump or he'd have given me a regular like" principle for girls, have used a couple on that basis so far the night (edit: or the algorithm does algorithmy things and makes them more likely to see my profile/see my like a lot quicker than drip feeding it through to them)

One of them legit looked absolutely sensational and even had a snappy one liner in her profile. With that, TDN had fallen in love.

Ditto the qt 21 y/o Irish girl I've matched with from the other day and messaged... that has yet to reply, and likely never will.

God this app is going to be heartbreaking to use, and yet I already kinda love it

Also - amusingly seen a girl on spotlight a few times that I definitely recognise, is a friend of a friend from my younger teenage days that must be in the area. Alas, I'm far too much of a shitebag to either swipe naw on her (because she's gorgeous and iirc pleasant in person too) but also can't bring myself to swipe yes either in case I bump into her while I'm out and she's a little bit weirded out by it, always just go into one of the other feeds when I see her crop up.

Edited December 16, 2022 by Thistle_do_nicely

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

5 hours ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

My top tips for success are being 6’3, working for a large investment bank and being a home owner. 

 

[alta-pete]

1 hour ago, velo army said:

Honestly man I put 7'5" for my height on tinder as women tend to get a wee bit too hung up on height. It's a decent conversation piece too.

Never thought about my P n B membership. @Jambomo is 3000 greenies enough to make you swipe right or would I need to win the Deadpool too?