AL-FFC Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 "Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement. "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve. "But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!" "I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind; either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor." "Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgement!" So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised." Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Can’t believe i got sacked from the calendar making factory.All i did was take a day off 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 My wife and I can both delay cumming to make the sex last longer.I can manage about 30 minutes, whereas she's gone 20 years 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 happy hallowe'en 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expatowner Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 you should have seen Hitlers face when he saw the gas bill. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 On 22/10/2018 at 16:39, Mark Connolly said: These Fleetwood Mac puns are Everywhere. Stevie Nicks books bout kleptomania, 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 On 30/10/2018 at 23:47, tamthebam said: happy hallowe'en Reminds me of a joke about the wife of a Rangers* fan who thought she would get Bobo Balde’s initials tattooed on her arse cheeks as a birthday present and his first reaction was “who the f**k is Bob?” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Reminds me of a joke about the wife of a Rangers* fan who thought she would get Bobo Balde’s initials tattooed on her arse cheeks as a birthday present and his first reaction was “who the f**k is Bob?” He was more annoyed by the tattoo of Danny McGrain on her front 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Pikey Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 My Grandparents were named Pearl and Dean but we just called them Grandma and Grandpapa.papa , papa, pa, papa, pa 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiepiemuncher Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 My Grandparents were named Pearl and Dean but we just called them Grandma and Grandpapa.papa , papa, pa, papa, pa Will anyone under 30 get this joke. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Will anyone under 30 get this joke.I’m 42 and it’s beat me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 7 hours ago, Mr Pikey said: My Grandparents were named Pearl and Dean but we just called them Grandma and Grandpapa.papa , papa, pa, papa, pa Mine's a Kia Ora and a choc ice. And ten Regal while you're at it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Pearl & Dean were advert mongers at the cinema, their presentations were heralded by this. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinffc Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 Got this new aftershave called worms The birds love it..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 I thought Pearl and Dean were ice skaters. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Pearl and Dean was a massive part of my childhood. I used to go to the cinema (Tivoli,odeon,astoria,ritz,playhouse,la scala,classic abc) every week. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiepiemuncher Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 I had the Pearl and Dean ringtone on my Motorola Razr V3 back in the day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 On 24/10/2018 at 07:31, Cardinal Richelieu said: Stevie Nicks books about kleptomania. © Half Man Half Biscuit c. 1988 On 02/11/2018 at 04:25, Tony Ferrino said: Stevie Nicks books bout kleptomania, Mods, please. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 What is Forrest Gump’s password for his computer? 1forrest1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AL-FFC Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 A mans wife phones him and says i have some good news and some bad news about the new car, the good news is the airbags work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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