Old Diamond Posted November 16, 2023 Share Posted November 16, 2023 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustOneCornetto Posted November 16, 2023 Share Posted November 16, 2023 Ridley Scott's new film, out next week, is 2 hours 38 minutes long. You'd think a film about Napoleon would be quite short. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted November 16, 2023 Share Posted November 16, 2023 1 hour ago, JustOneCornetto said: Ridley Scott's new film, out next week, is 2 hours 38 minutes long. You'd think a film about Napoleon would be quite short. Aksherly (dons anorak), he was 5 ft 6 1/2 inches - average for the time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbitterandgrumpy Posted November 17, 2023 Share Posted November 17, 2023 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted November 17, 2023 Share Posted November 17, 2023 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 "You're so childish!" screamed the wife. "Why do you always have to use that stupid walkie talkie with your stupid friends?! This is ridiculous, this relationship is over!" "This relationship is what? Over!" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 That's the office Christmas decorations sorted... 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 19QOS19 Posted November 22, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted November 22, 2023 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 23, 2023 Share Posted November 23, 2023 Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living. "I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder. "Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second. They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal. "Excuse me mate, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man. Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist." "A what?" asked the builder. "Let me explain" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?" A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, "Yes, I do as it happens." "Well then it's logical to assume that you either keep it in a bowl or a pond. Which is it?" "A pond" the builder replied. "Well then it's logical to assume that you have a large garden." The builder nodded his agreement. So the man continued, "which means it's logical to assume you have a large house." "I have a 6 bedroom house that I built myself." the builder said proudly. "Given that you have such a large house, it's logical to assume that you are married..." The builder nodded again, "Yes, I'm married and we have three children." "Then it's logical to assume that you have a healthy sex life." "Five nights a week!" the builder boasted. The man smiled a little, "Therefore it's logical to assume you don't masturbate often." "Never!" the builder exclaimed. "Well there you have it" the man explained, "That's logical science at work. From finding out that you have a goldfish, I've discovered the size of your garden, all about your house, your family and your sex life!" The builder left, very impressed by the man's talents. On returning to the bar the other builder asked, "I see that smart bloke was in there, did you find out what he does?" "Yeah," replied the first, "He's a logical scientist." "A what?" the puzzled second builder asked. "Let me explain" the first builder continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?" "No" replied his mate. "Well, you're a w****r then!" 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 Good to see that Tunnocks are sponsoring the Scottish space programme. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 3 hours ago, jagfox said: jagfox took his wife on holiday to Maine. To Bangor. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 1 hour ago, Bold Rover said: jagfox took his wife on holiday to Maine. To Bangor. Did he have a lovely time? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 I heard jagfox took his wife on a Carribean holiday. Jamaica? No, she went of her own accord. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salt n Vinegar Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 1 hour ago, GordonD said: Did he have a lovely time? On the way back, she cuddled with Jack and opened a bottle of cider. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 I heard jagfox took his wife on an Arctic holiday. Alaska? Don't you believe me? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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