Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[buchan30]

Everything bought for doing kitchen and dining room, all ready to go and get cracking. Woke this morning and it’s “I want that wall taken out, make it one big room” This is the wall I offered to take out 2 years ago and was telt to f**k off, before the new kitchen was put in. 

Aye, but it wasn’t her idea back then so it stands to reason it wasn’t a good idea.
Now she has had that idea, it’s a good idea.
This seems to be the logic amongst these strange beings.

[die hard doonhamer]

3 hours ago, mizfit said:

She’s just accidentally knocked the month old bedroom television over and smashed the screen.

Verge of tears here.

Got good insurance?

[mizfit]

Got good insurance?

Telly cost me £175 and the excess is £100 so I’m debating with myself whether to go down the route or not.

Told her earlier she better buy a replacement and she’s away in a huff.

[die hard doonhamer]

6 minutes ago, mizfit said:

 

Telly cost me £175 and the excess is £100 so I’m debating with myself whether to go down the route or not.

Told her earlier she better buy a replacement and she’s away in a huff.

 

Not a chance it's worth it, IMO

[Derry Alli]

Bedrooms are for shagging in, not watching TV. 

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

4 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

Bedrooms are for shagging in, not watching TV. 

@mizfit won't be benefitting from either at the moment.

[Raidernation]

Ok. Bear in mind I’m in a sober living house with 3 other guys in recovery so it’s not a “partner” per se:-

Newest guy is a dick, I’ll get that out in the open. We are all in agreement but if he plays by the rules he’s as entitled as the rest of us to stay as long as...

My complaint is he goes to the gym ( yep one of those gym types), comes back all disgusting, makes one of his protein drinks then sits and watches NCIS/Law and Order/Chicago PD all day. Manky got doesn’t shower first he just sits there stinking out the seat!

BTW he’s early 30’s the rest of us are mid 50’s.

[welshbairn]

2 minutes ago, Raidernation said:

Ok. Bear in mind I’m in a sober living house with 3 other guys in recovery so it’s not a “partner” per se:-

Newest guy is a dick, I’ll get that out in the open. We are all in agreement but if he plays by the rules he’s as entitled as the rest of us to stay as long as...

My complaint is he goes to the gym ( yep one of those gym types), comes back all disgusting, makes one of his protein drinks then sits and watches NCIS/Law and Order/Chicago PD all day. Manky got doesn’t shower first he just sits there stinking out the seat!

BTW he’s early 30’s the rest of us are mid 50’s.

Ask him what the showers are like at the gym.

[Sergeant Wilson]

10 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

Bedrooms are for shagging in, not watching TV. 

I can get it over and done with during the adverts.

[Iminavest]

Pens not closed/sans lid lying everywhere 

[Jacksgranda]

10 hours ago, mizfit said:

 

Telly cost me £175 and the excess is £100 so I’m debating with myself whether to go down the route or not.

Told her earlier she better buy a replacement and she’s away in a huff.

 

This seems to be their default mode.

[JoseMarooniho]

In supermarkets she buys the second from the front item. This applies to all food / non-food purchases.

[Jimmy Shaker]

She can’t do doors. Just can’t deal with them. Be they room doors, cupboard doors, drawers, she has no idea how to close them. Has almost wrecked the back door due to her habit of of turning the handle and shoving the door open at the same time, which is slowly wrecking the gubbins, and that comes after the first year of residence in the house of constantly using the wrong key in the lock. Can’t close a car door without slamming it either.

And she can’t work the remote control. When the TV alerts us that it might be switching itself off because it’s been on for hours, instead of pressing one of the volume buttons she always mashes away at the remote and ends up changing the source or starting up Netflix.

And she hasn’t the patience to get through a film without asking questions that will be answered if you’d just pay attention and watch the fucking thing.

[BFTD]

15 minutes ago, JoseMarooniho said:

In supermarkets she buys the second from the front item. This applies to all food / non-food purchases.

I try to take from the back without touching anything (if possible), as I know some poor b*****d's just going to have to move everything forward and straighten up before they get screamed at by the arsehole who runs the place.

Your missus = good guy.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

7 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

I try to take from the back without touching anything (if possible), as I know some poor b*****d's just going to have to move everything forward and straighten up before they get screamed at by the arsehole who runs the place.

Your missus = good guy.

Agreed. All the stuff at the front has been touched by filthy perverts.

Except for the stuff in Alloa supermarkets where the stuff near the back has been touched by a filthy pervert.

[BFTD]

9 minutes ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

She can’t do doors. Just can’t deal with them. Be they room doors, cupboard doors, drawers, she has no idea how to close them. Has almost wrecked the back door due to her habit of of turning the handle and shoving the door open at the same time, which is slowly wrecking the gubbins, and that comes after the first year of residence in the house of constantly using the wrong key in the lock. Can’t close a car door without slamming it either.

I've known folk who do this. The concept of turning a handle, THEN applying pressure to the door is too much for them to conceptualise. Usually combined with overt displays of violence..."if I keep slamming/pushing it harder, it's bound to work eventually!"

They remind me of one of the priests from Father Ted.

Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Agreed. All the stuff at the front has been touched by filthy perverts.

Except for the stuff in Alloa supermarkets where the stuff near the back has been touched by a filthy pervert.

I've occasionally been in Dundee over the past year.

GIRFUY.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

9 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

I've known folk who do this. The concept of turning a handle, THEN applying pressure to the door is too much for them to conceptualise. Usually combined with overt displays of violence..."if I keep slamming/pushing it harder, it's bound to work eventually!"

They remind me of one of the priests from Father Ted.

I've occasionally been in Dundee over the past year.

GIRFUY.

And you never called.

[Mr Tourette]

She phones me from the car:-

“Hi, I’m just on my way home, should be there in about 5 mins”

Me: “Ok, I’ll see you then”

Her: “I’ve just been speaking to so and so and we were talking about such and such etc etc”

Me: “Ok, I’ll see you in 4 mins when you get home, you can tell me all about it then”

Her: “And you’ll never guess what so and so was saying blah blah”

Me: “You’ll be home in 3 mins. Fucking shut up and drive!”

[Todd_is_God]

2 hours ago, Mr Tourette said:

She phones me from the car:-

“Hi, I’m just on my way home, should be there in about 5 mins”

Me: “Ok, I’ll see you then”

Her: “I’ve just been speaking to so and so and we were talking about such and such etc etc”

Me: “Ok, I’ll see you in 4 mins when you get home, you can tell me all about it then”

Her: “And you’ll never guess what so and so was saying blah blah”

Me: “You’ll be home in 3 mins. Fucking shut up and drive!”

Mine used to be terrible for this. Unable to drive home without phoning me for the entire journey to fill me in on some subject I don't care about involving people I don't know.

Always timed perfectly for me getting home, finishing a coffee and turning the TV on.

Thankfully her working from home for now has binned this.

[BFTD]

9 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

And you never called.

I've been leaving notes in the pockets of any green jeans I saw in the charity shops. I presumed they'd find their way to you eventually.

I did notice your restaurant, BTW. I assume @Bigmouth Strikes Again is a regular?

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