Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Raidernation]

Mine does this. Says something she believes to be correct. I disagree. This goes on a wee while. I go and find the information that proves I'm right. She comes out with "you always have to be right". Well yes, because I am right!

I learned early on to just accept they she thinks she’s right and just be comfortable in my knowledge that she’s not. Saved lots of arguments, especially with Mrs. RN#2 whose grasp of song lyrics was tenuous to say the least. Early in our marriage I corrected her once, and showed the evidence to back it up.
NEVER AGAIN!

[TheScarf]

16 hours ago, coprolite said:

Mine likes to conversate from the kitchen when the spin cycle and extractor are going. 

Ah, the classic.  Asks me a question at a normal register with both the dishwasher and tumble dryer going ten to the dozen then when I shout 'what?' when I can't hear her she fires through into the living room with 'are you fucking deaf?'.

Daft bint.

[mathematics]

I must be the lucky one here, Mrs Mathematics is always right.

[hk blues]

13 minutes ago, mathematics said:

I must be the lucky one here, Mrs Mathematics is always right.

Same with mine - I got rid of my Encyclopedia  Brittanica as I quickly realised she knew everything!

[Jacksgranda]

I didn't realise my wife was a triplet.

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, Jacksgranda said:

I didn't realise my wife was a triplet.

Is she a triplet, or 1/3 of a triplet? 

[Tony Ferrino]

28 minutes ago, mathematics said:

I must be the lucky one here, Mrs Mathematics is always right.

That's sensible, if you want to stay above the patio.

[Guest bernardblack]

I’m such a bad sleeper, maybe get 3/4 hours a night tops.

Mrs BB could have a coffee 30mins before bed and be out like a light as soon as her head hits the pillow.

Its so infuriating (okay maybe more jealousy)

[Funky Nosejob]

1 hour ago, TheScarf said:

Ah, the classic.  Asks me a question at a normal register with both the dishwasher and tumble dryer going ten to the dozen then when I shout 'what?' when I can't hear her she fires through into the living room with 'are you fucking deaf?'.

Daft bint.

Both my parents and my sister suffer from early onset hearing loss, so Mrs. Nosejob voiced her concerns about my lack of response when either she or one of the children would walk into the room and ask me a question when I was watching the TV. 
An appointment with the Audiology Department at the local hospital was arranged and I patiently sat for 20 minutes pressing the beeper every time I heard a tone through the headphones. 
The verdict? - My hearing is better than average for a man my age. 
Mrs. Nosejob was having none of it and vehemently expressed her opinion that the test must be flawed.

My ability to “white noise” my wife’s and kids’ voices is obviously well honed.

[Jacksgranda]

12 minutes ago, Funky Nosejob said:

Both my parents and my sister suffer from early onset hearing loss, so Mrs. Nosejob voiced her concerns about my lack of response when either she or one of the children would walk into the room and ask me a question when I was watching the TV. 
An appointment with the Audiology Department at the local hospital was arranged and I patiently sat for 20 minutes pressing the beeper every time I heard a tone through the headphones. 
The verdict? - My hearing is better than average for a man my age. 
Mrs. Nosejob was having none of it and vehemently expressed her opinion that the test must be flawed.

My ability to “white noise” my wife’s and kids’ voices is obviously well honed.

My wife's good at that - she can tune out a screaming toddler's tantrum, but should I mutter"Ffs", she responds immediately with "She's only a wean!"

[strichener]

On 03/12/2020 at 15:57, Perkin Flump said:

I deliberately use the method of being so god awful at everything to the degree that I don't even get asked anymore. My only exception to this is the kitchen which I guard jealously and spend hours cleaning, amazingly enough I get away with this obvious inconsistency.

I can't be the only one that read this and came to the conclusion that you have been played.

[Moomintroll]

18 minutes ago, strichener said:

I can't be the only one that read this and came to the conclusion that you have been played.

I prefer to see it as a win but I suspect you may be correct.

[mathematics]

We needed more cushions, apparently.

[UsedToGoToCentralPark]

We needed more cushions, apparently.

WTAF.

[Florentine_Pogen]

4 hours ago, UsedToGoToCentralPark said:

WTAF.

Ooh, is that Judith decapitating Holofernes?
Very interesting choice, but I'd be a bit leery of falling asleep on that sofa.

Edited December 5, 2020 by Florentine_Pogen

[Mark Connolly]

99% sure Mrs @mathematics now does all his posts while wearing his face as a mask

[Honest_Man#1]

1 hour ago, mathematics said:

We needed more cushions, apparently.

She needs locked up.

[mathematics]

1 hour ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Ooh, is that Judith decapitation Holofernes?
Very interesting choice, but I'd be a bit leery of falling asleep on that sofa.

^^^ cultured individual right here, ladies and gentlemen.

[Dee Man]

2 hours ago, mathematics said:

We needed more cushions, apparently.

I like Mrs Mathematics' choice in home decor. None of the bland tat you get in most homes like sequined cushions or off-white oil burners, just straight in there with her passion for murder and mutilation. All great conversation starters, albeit slightly terrifying talking points for the more squeamish guest. 

It would be great if she was known at her work as the boring plain Jane and bought her shocked colleagues back for a dinner party.

And then killed them all. 

[mathematics]

24 minutes ago, Dee Man said:

It would be great if she was known at her work as the boring plain Jane and bought her shocked colleagues back for a dinner party.

Sadly, she’s the one that folk go to when someone needs castrated. Chemically, or otherwise.