Work colleagues

[Hedgecutter]

I hope somebody's going to eventually say: "Jokes don't carry well across email as we told one wifey that she had to work 45 mins on a Monday before she left... and she actually turned up "

 It's just depressing otherwise.

[Honest_Man#1]

1 hour ago, Mr. Alli said:

What will they do if she just doesn't work the 45 minutes? 

You've already said she won't ever get back. 

Tell them to GTF. 

Potentially could cite breach of contract/refusal to work notice period and withhold wages. It would be utter scumbag behaviour but I’d just go in and fanny around for 45 mins to ensure they had to pay me in full, as this arsehole seems like the type who would happily use it.

[Todd_is_God]

3 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

Potentially could cite breach of contract/refusal to work notice period and withhold wages. It would be utter scumbag behaviour but I’d just go in and fanny around for 45 mins to ensure they had to pay me in full, as this arsehole seems like the type who would happily use it.

Yeah. 45 minutes of this in response to absolutely everything

[MONKMAN]

Name? I wanna look up his career.

Sent you a message.

[tamthebam]

2 hours ago, TheScarf said:

The wife starts a new job at the start of May and in between she's taking the last week of her employment off as a holiday to get stuff done around the house, take the dog on longer walks etc.  Her last day is tomorrow and she's been talking to HR about it and apparently when they calculate her holiday and TOIL accrued, she has to work for 45 minutes on Monday, and they aren't just letting it slide.

45 minutes ffs.

I wonder if she could tie up HR with a nonsense query and time it. When it gets to the 44th minute say "You wasted my time, I've wasted yours, hope there's a lesson there and f**k you" and put the phone down.

[GordonD]

Tell her to work an hour and claim the extra 15 minutes as OT.

[microdave]

My mode of transport to work would be delayed but I'd volunteer to make up the time. The first fifteen minutes after arrival would be taken up with as much time wasting as possible. Stuff like getting things ready for starting work, making coffee/tea etc. Then I'd go for a shite and leave it unflushed which would waste another fifteen minutes, then I'd take the last quarter of an hour getting ready to leave. Although I'd try to leave maybe about a minute earlier if I could.

[Guest bernardblack]

3 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

Go in 45 minutes before closing time, and send out a pile of queries for someone else to sort out the next day.

Haha! 
Log in, coffee....bathroom break....coffee....see ya later

[Derry Alli]

3 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

Potentially could cite breach of contract/refusal to work notice period and withhold wages. 

They could only withhold 45 minutes of wages, surely? 

Edited April 22, 2021 by Mr. Alli

[Fullerene]

I think the best revenge is no revenge.   Go into work like it is a normal working day.  Do all the things she would normally do.  If anyone comes over to talk say "I'm sorry, I need to get on with my work", regardless of whether she is doing anything useful or not.  After 45 minutes just get up and leave.  Don't say Goodbye to anyone.  After all she has already left apart from this petty 45 minutes.

After that they will have no hold over her at all and that will probably frustrate them enormously.

Maybe say "Okay that's me. I am off to Spain!"

That will confuse them completely.  "What did she mean.  I am off to Spain.  You're not allowed to travel anywhere just now"

[FernandosMonobrow]

6 hours ago, TheScarf said:

The wife starts a new job at the start of May and in between she's taking the last week of her employment off as a holiday to get stuff done around the house, take the dog on longer walks etc.  Her last day is tomorrow and she's been talking to HR about it and apparently when they calculate her holiday and TOIL accrued, she has to work for 45 minutes on Monday, and they aren't just letting it slide.

45 minutes ffs.

That's the sort of carry on my work would pull. Seen folk going in to work for 20 minutes on the last shift of the year as they've not enough holidays to cover the full day.

[coprolite]

My mate was due to leave the army, and didn't shave before the parade thingy on his last full day. Having been warned about this before and due to giving the supervisor manny (is it a Sergeant?) cheek when bollocked about it, he had to spend a week in the Colchester jail before they'd let him leave. This was like 20 odd years ago so i don't know if they'd still pull that. 

[Honest_Man#1]

2 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

They could only withhold 45 minutes of wages, surely? 

Legally I think you’re right, but if they keep more than that it’s up to you to take them to court to get it back. Depends on the role and the professionalism of the company, and the value making it financially worthwhile to take them to court.

When I worked in Coop as a teenager for a few months there was a finger scanner for scanning in and out. I discovered that the manager was editing the system manually to change everyone’s in and out times to the exact minute their shift officially started and ended to stop overtime payments, without telling people to ensure they kept doing the required extra time after the shift to lock up etc. I questioned them on it when I was blatantly underpaid for quite a few of hours. I quit, but was told if I didn’t work the notice they would withhold holiday pay and the previous 2 weeks wages of shifts id already worked. As frustrating as it was, I needed the money and couldn’t afford to take them to court over a small amount, so just had to accept it and work the full notice.

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

12 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

so just had to accept it and work the full notice.

While robbing f**k out the place, right?

[GordonD]

Might have mentioned this before, but...

Not work colleagues of mine but of my dad's. He used to work in a big printer's in Slateford Road and once he told me about two guys that were caught pulling a fast one. When they did Sunday overtime they were supposed to start at eight o'clock but would always turn up just before nine. They would stick a little piece of paper on their time cards so that when they clocked in it would say 8:59 or whatever - except that the 59 part was on the paper. They'd peel it off and stick it on top of the 8, then clock in again - this time it would say 9:00 but now the 9 was on the paper, so when they peeled that off the card said 8:00 and looked as if they were on time.

This went on for a few weeks until the day the guy with the keys to the place slept in. He arrived at about half past eight to find all the workers standing out in the street cursing him. He opened up and everybody went in to start work. And half an hour later the bold boys rolled up and went through their usual procedure, unaware of what had happened, and ended up with time cards stating that they were inside half an hour before the doors were unlocked.

Not sure to what extent the collar-feeling went but one way or another they didn't try it again.

[Robin.Hood]

24 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

Legally I think you’re right, but if they keep more than that it’s up to you to take them to court to get it back. Depends on the role and the professionalism of the company, and the value making it financially worthwhile to take them to court.

When I worked in Coop as a teenager for a few months there was a finger scanner for scanning in and out. I discovered that the manager was editing the system manually to change everyone’s in and out times to the exact minute their shift officially started and ended to stop overtime payments, 

This happens still to an extent 

[Honest_Man#1]

1 hour ago, Robin.Hood said:

This happens still to an extent 

Not surprised in the slightest. Scumbag behaviour.

[Deanburn Dave]

Always remember a world weary worker say :- people get promoted to the level of their incompetence.

[Fullerene]

On 21/04/2021 at 20:10, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Some utter walloper posted this on Linkedin the other day. Tbf, most people called him out on it, but it's scary the number of people who think like this.

There have been times when I have had to work crazy hours but the work was so stimulating that I barely even noticed.  I have no complaints because the outcome made it all worthwhile.

By contrast somebody writing a list like this is clearly doing a boring job and is trying to play the martyrdom card.  "Oh look at me and all the sacrifices I am having to make".  I knew people like that.  All of them failures.

[Hillonearth]

That poster roughly ten minutes after it went up in any office I've ever worked in: