LincolnHearts Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 On 24 July 2017 at 23:09, ICTChris said: I used to work with a guy who, many years ago, shared a flat in the South of England with a sex worker. She used to entertain clients in their flat, he'd go out to the pub across the road if she was. One day he was sitting in the pub while she has a client when the pub phone rang for him (this was pre mobile phones) - his hooker flatmate on the other end in a desperate state. She said she'd been doing a threesome with one of her mates but she'd been let down. She needed him to go to the bakery, buy a tray of cream cakes and go back to the flat with them. Recognising the desperation in her voice he complied. He walked into the flat and there in the hallway was the client - naked and tied to a kitchen chair. The worried hooker quickly filled my mate in. This client liked to be tied to chair and have her give him oral relief while her friend, the no show, threw cream cakes at them. Now that the pal wasn't there the client wasn't happy and offered my old colleague £20 to take the role of cake thrower. He wasn't keen but when the offer was upped to £50 he went with it. The client wasn't pleased with the first few throws, he felt enough wasn't being put into it. The tryst concluded with my ex workmate running down the hallway launching cream cakes at him curtly Ambrose style. The punter was a minor celebrity at the time as well but he's started playing alive and hasn't been outed as a pervo so I'll not name him here. I'll take a PM. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 For some reason, I instantly thought of Keith Chegwin as the celebrity perv. Not sure what "playing alive" means, though. A Bee Gees tribute band? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 Was there not a Celtic fan being a wido on an Aberdeen forum who was then outed by the admins as being into sniffing birds farts, with the full gas/gimp mask and tubes inserted from fartbox to face etc. What a thread that one was. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 14 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said: chavs, extreme example here also you get the danger factor Have fun 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCelt67 Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 On 24/07/2017 at 20:45, killiefan27 said: Wonder if a certain fart-loving Celtic fan is on here... http://www.afc-chat.co.uk/forums/index.php?showtopic=39414 3 minutes ago, LincolnHearts said: Was there not a Celtic fan being a wido on an Aberdeen forum who was then outed by the admins as being into sniffing birds farts, with the full gas/gimp mask and tubes inserted from fartbox to face etc. What a thread that one was. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 Apologies to Kiliefan27, never seen he'd posted the link. Recommended reading for anyone who hasn't had a browse 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engelbert_humperdink Posted July 26, 2017 Author Share Posted July 26, 2017 9 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: For some reason, I instantly thought of Keith Chegwin as the celebrity perv. Not sure what "playing alive" means, though. A Bee Gees tribute band? bobby davro or les dennis imo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Watching Seinfeld there reminded me of something I used to do: take my top off when I went for a dump. No idea why I did it and I can't remember when I grew out of it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 14 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: chavs, extreme example here also you get the danger factor 14 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Pretty sure she I'm not pretty sure it's a she. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 The word "pretty" doesn't really need to be anywhere near that photo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Watching Seinfeld there reminded me of something I used to do: take my top off when I went for a dump. No idea why I did it and I can't remember when I grew out of it. I take my tie off, and I'm not entirely sure why. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 I take my tie off, and I'm not entirely sure why. Do you wear a tie every day? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Do you wear a tie every day? Most days. I tend to take if off when I feel I can get away with it, I'm not really a tie fan but I'm supposed to work one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Never understood the jobby thing. I get people are into different things but we all have enough shitting experience to know that they are mostly not very nice 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Never understood the jobby thing. I get people are into different things but we all have enough shitting experience to know that they are mostly not very nice Jobbies are funny. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grass Is Greener. Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Just now, 8MileBU said: Jobbies are funny. Is Tony funny? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 10 minutes ago, 8MileBU said: Jobbies are funny. Aye, you would say that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 27 minutes ago, Toma_BullyWee said: Never understood the jobby thing. I get people are into different things but we all have enough shitting experience to know that they are mostly not very nice I can't understand why anyone would want to put their face near where the jobby comes from, and here's me thinking only Dogs did that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 7 minutes ago, heedthebaa said: I can't understand why anyone would want to put their face near where the jobby comes from, and here's me thinking only Dogs did that Arseholes are amazingly self cleaning. Don't mind dipping the tongue occasionally. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grass Is Greener. Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 A wee tongue punch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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