Stellaboz Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 I had that happen to me once waiting at the junction coming from the glen gates, turning left up the hill towards town in Dunfermline. My hand brake had just broken and its a bit steep to keep the clutch level. Fucking shat it and stalled twice before screeching off up the hill. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 On 21/01/2019 at 17:25, Hampden Diehard said: On 21/01/2019 at 10:44, nsr said: Plus they are wanky wee cars. It's like having a wee dog like a Yorkie, which just a hairy rat and not a proper dog. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 (edited) I mind driving my da's car about 25 years ago ... a Ford Fiesta that had seen better days. The horn had stopped working and wouldn't have passed its MOT. It was quite expensive to get it fixed, and apparently it was cheaper to install a fucking doorbell near the steering wheel that you would press to sound the horn, so it was already a bit embarrassing to give anybody a lift. One time, the brakes just failed - luckily I wasn't bombing it or right up the arse (hi Kenneth) of the car in front, so I managed to slow down and stop using the gears / handbrake and then have a small panic attack at the side of the road. But the worst time was when I was driving up a hill and the car suddenly jolted - as if I'd just bombed it over a speed hump. Couldn't see the problem until I looked in the rear-view mirror. The spare wheel - which was usually bolted to the underside of the motor - had decided to unbolt itself and career down the road. Cars were swerving left right and centre to avoid the tyre rumbling down the road. Luckily, nobody crashed, so I hoyed the wheel into the boot, drove home and had a small panic attack. People tend to reminisce fondly about cars they used to drive. But not this one. I hope it got fucking crushed. Edited February 4, 2019 by Cardinal Richelieu 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 21 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: I mind driving my da's car about 25 years ago ... a Ford Fiesta that had seen better days. The horn had stopped working and wouldn't have passed its MOT. It was quite expensive to get it fixed, and apparently it was cheaper to install a fucking doorbell near the steering wheel that you would press to sound the horn, so it was already a bit embarrassing to give anybody a lift. One time, the brakes just failed - luckily I wasn't bombing it or right up the arse (hi Kenneth) of the car in front, so I managed to slow down and stop using the gears / handbrake and then have a small panic attack at the side of the road. But the worst time was when I was driving up a hill and the car suddenly jolted - as if I'd just bombed it over a speed hump. Couldn't see the problem until I looked in the rear-view mirror. The spare wheel - which was usually bolted to the underside of the motor - had decided to unbolt itself and career down the road. Cars were swerving left right and centre to avoid the tyre rumbling down the road. Luckily, nobody crashed, so I hoyed the wheel into the boot, drove home and had a small panic attack. People tend to reminisce fondly about cars they used to drive. But not this one. I hope it got fucking crushed. My first car was a C reg VW Polo. The brakes didn't have a servo, and after driving it for a while, I discovered that if you braked long enough and hard enough (Kenneth, you again?) without warning, the brakes would stop working. The only way to rectify this was to release pressure on the brake pedal and then reapply. Driving to work in Motherwell one morning, just before the Raith Interchange, everyone is bombing happily along until the traffic up ahead suddenly starts braking pretty violently. I stand on the brakes, only to be met with the sensation of the brakes stopping working and the pedal disappearing to the floor. Convincing yourself to take your foot off the brake pedal as you hurtle towards the back of a Transit van at 70 mph takes a tremendous amount of fortitude. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 1st drive of the year (live in city centre, 9 mins walk from work and 5 from train station so don't need car and hire one every now and again). Trip to Ayrshire and back this weekend and trains a night mare just now, so car it was. The standard of driving on the roads is just pathetic, ignorant and moronic. People sitting in the outside lane for miles doing 65 without a care in the world and cars queuing up behind them despite the inside lane being empty, or cars pulling out as you near forcing braking. Doing 75 (yes speeding), as I pass and suddenly find you have to brake to 63 to avoid running through the back of a fucknugget that has pulled out to crawl past someone else doing 62 Yesterday from Laurencekirk to Aberdeen I had the cruise control on at 75 and managed to overtake the same car 4 times as they kept speeding up to re-overtake me, then pull in and slow down. People on their phones, people throwing rubbish out their windows Twats with running lights on at the front, meaning no lights at the back, 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 5 hours ago, Rizzo said: Witnessed probably the worst piece of driving I've ever seen the other week coming out of Aldi in Camelon. There is a set of traffic lights at a T-junction at the top of a hill and I noticed that the car in front was constantly rolling back then moving forward slightly then repeating this manouver. Naturally I stopped well back in case they wound up rolling into me and when the lights changed the car in front of them took off while this chap stalled and no one else made it through. When the lights turned green for a second time he managed to stall again and once again failed to get onto the main road. Instead of waiting for the lights to turn green again however he starts to edge slowly into the oncoming traffic through the red light, blocking cars travelling along the main road coming from the right. Lights at our side go green again and once again he somehow manages to stall the car and fail miserably at getting onto the main road. By this point other folk were over taking him in order to turn right themselves and as soon as the lights changed to red he finally managed to drive the 4 yards round the corner. I kind of hope that there was a problem with his car and that it wasn't simply sheer incompetance. I caused a similar shit show before - I'd just had my clutch replaced that day and the guy at the garage said "see how it goes, we might need to adjust it again" which was extremely reassuring as I was about to head off on an hour's drive. It felt a bit weird but just assumed it was because it was new, but then I was sat at a set of lights near Hampden (I was the first car at the lights) and when I tried to accelerate nothing happened. I kept forcing the clutch down as far as I could to make sure it was okay but still no movement, lights change back to red and I can see the guy behind me throwing his arms up in disbelief. Shitting myself now I try and get the car edging forward before the lights change, just as they go green I go to accelerate but still no real movement forward (a slight judder forward is all it can muster). At this point I start screaming at the clutch and fiddling with the gear stick and the car eventually shoots away - just as the lights turn back to red and leave the guy behind me sitting in a complete rage. I felt so bad, I really wanted to pull up down the road and explain to the guy it was my clutch and I wasn't just a complete fanny. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 On 02/02/2019 at 01:28, ah-dee said: young girl (massive wid) bairn infested mini Looks like someone beat you too it 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rizzo Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 4 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: I mind driving my da's car about 25 years ago ... a Ford Fiesta that had seen better days. The horn had stopped working and wouldn't have passed its MOT. It was quite expensive to get it fixed, and apparently it was cheaper to install a fucking doorbell near the steering wheel that you would press to sound the horn, so it was already a bit embarrassing to give anybody a lift. One time, the brakes just failed - luckily I wasn't bombing it or right up the arse (hi Kenneth) of the car in front, so I managed to slow down and stop using the gears / handbrake and then have a small panic attack at the side of the road. But the worst time was when I was driving up a hill and the car suddenly jolted - as if I'd just bombed it over a speed hump. Couldn't see the problem until I looked in the rear-view mirror. The spare wheel - which was usually bolted to the underside of the motor - had decided to unbolt itself and career down the road. Cars were swerving left right and centre to avoid the tyre rumbling down the road. Luckily, nobody crashed, so I hoyed the wheel into the boot, drove home and had a small panic attack. People tend to reminisce fondly about cars they used to drive. But not this one. I hope it got fucking crushed. My first car was a Nissan Micra and I got sent to Fort William one night to do some work in a school the following day. When I reached Callander it started snowing heavily and by the time I reached Tyndrum I couldn't see the road. The car skidded and I wound up on the opposite side of the road facing back the way I'd come so took that as a sign and phoned my manager to say that there was no chance of me reaching Fort William as the glencoe road was shut by that point. He was unsympathetic and suggested I take the road that was still open (the Oban road) to make it to the hotel. My reply to that was something along the lines of "have you seen the f**king car I drive?" Wound up staying in Tyndrum for the night and drove home in the morning as the snow gates were still closed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 8 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: My first car was a C reg VW Polo. The brakes didn't have a servo, and after driving it for a while, I discovered that if you braked long enough and hard enough (Kenneth, you again?) without warning, the brakes would stop working. The only way to rectify this was to release pressure on the brake pedal and then reapply. Driving to work in Motherwell one morning, just before the Raith Interchange, everyone is bombing happily along until the traffic up ahead suddenly starts braking pretty violently. I stand on the brakes, only to be met with the sensation of the brakes stopping working and the pedal disappearing to the floor. Convincing yourself to take your foot off the brake pedal as you hurtle towards the back of a Transit van at 70 mph takes a tremendous amount of fortitude. Reading that story im picturing that scene where a coked up Henry Hill slams on the brakes and comes within inches of smashing into the car in front in the midst of his drug induced meltdown in Goodfellas. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 47 minutes ago, Flybhoy said: Reading that story im picturing that scene where a coked up Henry Hill slams on the brakes and comes within inches of smashing into the car in front in the midst of his drug induced meltdown in Goodfellas. I was coked out my tits, to be fair. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted February 5, 2019 Share Posted February 5, 2019 13 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: My first car was a C reg VW Polo. The brakes didn't have a servo, and after driving it for a while, I discovered that if you braked long enough and hard enough (Kenneth, you again?) without warning, the brakes would stop working. The only way to rectify this was to release pressure on the brake pedal and then reapply. Driving to work in Motherwell one morning, just before the Raith Interchange, everyone is bombing happily along until the traffic up ahead suddenly starts braking pretty violently. I stand on the brakes, only to be met with the sensation of the brakes stopping working and the pedal disappearing to the floor. Convincing yourself to take your foot off the brake pedal as you hurtle towards the back of a Transit van at 70 mph takes a tremendous amount of fortitude. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesP_81 Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 C*nt driving at 28mph all along the 40mph stretch from broxden into Perth, then as soon as they pass the 30 board speed up to 35mph, then almost plough right through a mini roundabout whilst oncoming traffic is turning right across them! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 17 minutes ago, JamesP_81 said: C*nt driving at 28mph all along the 40mph stretch from broxden into Perth, then as soon as they pass the 30 board speed up to 35mph, then almost plough right through a mini roundabout whilst oncoming traffic is turning right across them! I've seen this sort of thing so many times. If someone in front of me was driving excessively slowly all the time for safety reasons I would still be seething but could at least understand why they were doing it, but people who do 40 on a 60 road then continue to do 40 on a 30 road I just cannot fathom. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eez-eh Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 6 hours ago, nsr said: I've seen this sort of thing so many times. If someone in front of me was driving excessively slowly all the time for safety reasons I would still be seething but could at least understand why they were doing it, but people who do 40 on a 60 road then continue to do 40 on a 30 road I just cannot fathom. Almost exclusively old b*****ds who shouldn’t be driving. Will drive at a constant speed regardless of whether they’re in the country or driving through a town. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Canal Street in Perth is fun, it's a two lane one way street, for a while, then about 100 yards after the final set of lights the two lanes split off. Amount of times you're minding your own business in the left lane at the lights, oblivious to the fact the car beside you thinks this 100 yard stretch is a drag race is unreal. Inevitably ends with them almost piling into the side of you as they'd rather crash into you than have the shame of sitting waiting to merge in once everyone gones past and judged them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pleslie99 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 My wife is now an official c**t on the road. She's just reversed into my car bringing hers out the drive taking a big gouge out my front bumper. Her banger doesn't have a scratch! Raging doesn't begin to cover it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 7 minutes ago, pleslie99 said: My wife is now an official c**t on the road. She's just reversed into my car bringing hers out the drive taking a big gouge out my front bumper. Her banger doesn't have a scratch! Raging doesn't begin to cover it! Get her to paint it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 8 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Get her to paint it. Tell her to run the engine, turn the heaters up full blast with the windows closed, should be fine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesP_81 Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 The entrance to my car park is directly opposite the school so in the mornings can get a bit mental with lazy parents trying to drop their fat lazy kids off as close to the gates as possible. This morning there's a car at the junction to get out but with hazards on blocking residents from getting out. I get out to see if there's a problem as surely no one could be that much of a c*nt to just abandon themselves there. 50 odd year old woman straight on the offensive as I walk up " eh, I have my hazard lights on in case you can't see, everyone else does it so why can't I" a verbal boot in the pie was swiftly administered when she countered my polite suggestion that she stops blocking the road with "oh aye and I bet you never do this". Utter c*nt!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 On 2/8/2019 at 16:36, Flybhoy said: Tell her to run the engine, turn the heaters up full blast with the windows closed, should be fine. Tell her to get in the kitchen and make you a sandwich. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.