Washing youre hands

[Stellaboz]

I hope every c**t that flushes a wet wipe eats it again in their fish for dinner. Scum.

[Honest_Man#1]

7 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Wet wipes would be fine if we adopted the routine of nearly every civilised country of putting them in a bin instead of flushing them down the toilet.

Correct. And people that seem to age this idea that bins will be overflowing with wet wipes don’t understand the basic procedure. Toilet roll until the roll is showing as clean (hint: your arse is still shite ridden), then use of 1 wet wipe to give it the final clean (this is where it shows that without using wet wipes your arse is still rank) and a bit more toilet roll to dry.

[Scary Bear]

Correct. And people that seem to age this idea that bins will be overflowing with wet wipes don’t understand the basic procedure. Toilet roll until the roll is showing as clean (hint: your arse is still shite ridden), then use of 1 wet wipe to give it the final clean (this is where it shows that without using wet wipes your arse is still rank) and a bit more toilet roll to dry.

 

Just accept that people won’t ever do this and move on with your life.

 

Some people on this very thread can’t be bothered washing their hands after going to the toilet. Can you see them washing their arseholes?

[vikingTON]

30 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Wet wipes would be fine if we adopted the routine of nearly every civilised country of putting them in a bin instead of flushing them down the toilet.

Only backward, practically Third World countries require a separate toilet paper bin. 

[Miguel Sanchez]

I'm slightly bemused by Tanzania being the only African country with working plumbing

[welshbairn]

12 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I'm slightly bemused by Tanzania being the only African country with working plumbing

And the Vatican's the only place in Italy where you're assured of discretely disposing of your dirty secrets.

[Honest_Man#1]

44 minutes ago, Scary Bear said:

 

Just accept that people won’t ever do this and move on with your life.

 

Some people on this very thread can’t be bothered washing their hands after going to the toilet. Can you see them washing their arseholes?

I’ve accepted that long ago. It’s you who continually seems to get seething that some people use wet wipes.

[Rugster]

51 minutes ago, virginton said:

Only backward, practically Third World countries require a separate toilet paper bin. 

He’s talking about wipes not toilet paper. Swing and a miss, thanks for playing etc etc. 

[welshbairn]

On 11/08/2019 at 22:53, Blootoon87 said:

A slight tangent, but my girlfriend had a go at me because I didn't wipe my cock with toilet paper after I had a pish. Is that a thing?

 

 

Wait till you get older, if you wait for the last dribble to fall you'll be there all night.

[A96]

On 11/08/2019 at 22:53, Blootoon87 said:

A slight tangent, but my girlfriend had a go at me because I didn't wipe my cock with toilet paper after I had a pish. Is that a thing?

 

 

Kin'ell min ...... She's basically telling you that yer pishy cock's nae goin anywhere near her gob.  So well worth gie'in it a wee dicht efter pishin I'd say. And be sure to let her know you've done it

I take it yer bird's nae fae Peterheid wi that high standards

 

 

 

 

 

 

[heedthebaa]

27 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Wait till you get older, if you wait for the last dribble to fall you'll be there all night.

It falls, the second you put the fucking thing away 

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, heedthebaa said:

the fucking thing

Quite the poet!

[BFTD]

2 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Out of interest, what do you dry yourself with after the bidet has replicated one of the most unpleasant feelings in the world, firing water at your bare arsehole?

This reads as though you've had water fired at your arsehole in a non-bidet situation.

I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Miguel.

[Cerberus]

Part of my job involves going to construction sites.
I don't go into the port-a-loos unless I have gloves and shoe covers on.

Estragon would probably happily lick the pan as germs don't exist.

[Shotgun]

Wait till you get older, if you wait for the last dribble to fall you'll be there all night.

Now gather round ye children while I share with you one of the secrets of life. After you finish the whizz, waste not your time attempting to shake out the remaining few drops. For therein lies madness, disappointment and tell-tale stains on your khakis.

Instead, reach around behind your ballsack and give yourself a wee toot. You might need to experiment until you find the sweet spot but for no reason at all there’s a little pocket back there, in which the amber nectar collects. Intelligent design me erse but it’s the reason for the dreaded post pee puddle. Scoot out the residue and put the wee man away with confidence.

Remember this issue WILL get worse as you get older so get into the habit now while there’s still a small chance you aren’t a figure of ridicule and disgust among your female acquaintances.

You’re welcome.

[Miguel Sanchez]

2 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

This reads as though you've had water fired at your arsehole in a non-bidet situation.

I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Miguel.

"firing" was probably the wrong inference, I was referring to splashback

[Blootoon87]

Kin'ell min ...... She's basically telling you that yer pishy cock's nae goin anywhere near her gob.  So well worth gie'in it a wee dicht efter pishin I'd say. And be sure to let her know you've done it
I take it yer bird's nae fae Peterheid wi that high standards
 
 
 
 
 
 

She's Swedish, so thanks to a diet of surströmming she's not really fussy what goes in her gob.

[Ross.]

Shameless bump as I noticed this on the BBC website:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-50140871

Looks like @Estragon IS NOT a fud has since been emptied from this thread/forum, which is a pity, because I wanted to call him "Mr Shitey Hands" again.

[jimbaxters]

On 15/08/2019 at 01:05, Shotgun said:

 

Now gather round ye children while I share with you one of the secrets of life. After you finish the whizz, waste not your time attempting to shake out the remaining few drops. For therein lies madness, disappointment and tell-tale stains on your khakis.

Instead, reach around behind your ballsack and give yourself a wee toot. You might need to experiment until you find the sweet spot but for no reason at all there’s a little pocket back there, in which the amber nectar collects. Intelligent design me erse but it’s the reason for the dreaded post pee puddle. Scoot out the residue and put the wee man away with confidence.

Remember this issue WILL get worse as you get older so get into the habit now while there’s still a small chance you aren’t a figure of ridicule and disgust among your female acquaintances.

You’re welcome.

 

Genuinely intrigued by this. Downing some water now because I can't wait to try.

[KnightswoodBear]

7 minutes ago, jimbaxters said:

Genuinely intrigued by this. Downing some water now because I can't wait to try.

I too am intrigued by this, but I fear that this is some kind of sick game where @Shotgun is getting some kind of kick out of knowing that we're all fondling our ballsacks after a pee because of his advice.

Still going to try it, mind.