Coronavirus (COVID-19)

[mizfit]

I'm generally very much in favour of essentially moving towards binning private cars and encouraging people towards public transport, but the only way it can work is if it comes hand in hand with policy change in a number of areas, but particularly in terms of the concept of what public transport is. At the moment it essentially operates on the same rules as business, where routes only operate if they are profitable, and only at times which are profitable, not if they are useful, which aren't the same thing. Train and bus services in most of Scotland are awful, and nearly everything is routed through cities rather than being designed to connect towns.
They also have to make it as easy as possible for people to ditch their cars. I live right next to a train station (it was one of the reasons I chose the area) and can easily commute via train - it's also about 70 minutes walk/25 minutes run if I want to, which I probably will post-corona. However, my wife has a healthcare job where she is required to drive around to people's houses, often with large heavy pieces of equipment. Her work (a local council authority) do offer pool cars, but for some reason these are located in an industrial estate 15/20 minutes walk from the office, and are generally not well maintained or even cleaned regularly. Therefore, for obvious reasons she and her colleagues generally take their own cars to work, even those who live quite nearby.
She is desperate to buy an electric car soon, but we only have on-street parking and the local area has dreadfully low provision of charging points, so again people are being discouraged from doing the "right" thing.

I’m quite interested in buying an electric car, but I’m in the same position. We have nowhere we can put a charger in our current place, hopefully that changes if we buy soon.

[Gordon EF]

10 minutes ago, cyderspaceman said:

Makes sense but folk won't want a car with someone's chip poke and who knows what else in it when they go to use it.  #toomanycuntsintheworld

Too many fucking c***s in the world
There's too many c***s leaving chips in the car.

[DA Baracus]

12 minutes ago, Gordon EF said:

Too many fucking c***s in the world
There's too many c***s leaving chips in the car.

So I won't give up the fight for you!

[Granny Danger]

53 minutes ago, Forest_Fifer said:

2 hours ago, madwullie said:

Absolute nutcases 

I want one of their waterproof real wood stain resistant carpets.

^^^^ really just wants a hug.

[philpy]

You could  get a hug AND a rug while the stupid c***s act smug. 

Edited May 9, 2020 by philpy

[David W]

Stay alert everyone.

[Crùbag]

Oh jeezus christ... thsi STAY ALERT pash from Boris. Stay alert to a virus??!

Scotland, get TF out of here.

 

[SweeperDee]

https://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/3083599/france-had-covid-19-november-hospital-says-after-analysis-chest?utm_content=article&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1588945660

Hmm..

[Todd_is_God]

Bizarre slogan tbh. Changing the words and colours a bit is something you would expect from a child.

The lack of "stay home" is a pretty clear indication of what's coming, mind.

[Have some faith in Magic]

It's time to pull up the drawbridge from these fuckwits. 

Lockdown is effectively over with that slogan. 

[Thereisalight..]

1 hour ago, cyderspaceman said:

I worked in a bookshop in 2003 that took £ 350 -£500 per day, 7 days a week.

(I was only part time)

10k over 6 weeks, now, doesn't seem unreasonable for food and sundries.  That's all.

I know it doesn’t seem unreasonable but it’s only open until 2pm and always seems to be dead (I can see it from my house). If they make 10k in 6 weeks I’d buy it myself

[tamthebam]

Reading the Evening News today Edinburgh Council has plans to close roads to cars, widen pavements etc. Quite a good time to sneak this through while there's little traffic on the road.. 

I don't mind money being spent on more cycle lanes etc as long as pedestrians are issued with baseball bats with nails in them to protect them from adult wankers cycling on the pavement. It would seem to be the only language they understand.

[D.A.F.C]

How about controlling it properly first you useless Tory p***ks.

[Sherrif John Bunnell]

9 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said:

It’s in the local paper this week, that South Ayrshire council has paid £13 million in “Covid business grants”. It says the payment is either £10k or £25k if they meet the criteria. Any idea what the criteria is? Theres no way the wee roll shop at the end of the street would have made £10k since lockdown began as an example

The grant is based on the rateable value of the premises given by the assessor. (similar to a Council Tax band)

Most premises with a rateable value up to £18,000 are entitled to a £10,000 grant, rateable values from £18,001 to £51,000 are entitled to the £25k grant, although that grant is limited to properties used for retail and hospitality .

So a plumber working out of a ramshackle old shed with a £500 rateable value could be getting £10K, but a hotel with a rateable value of £51,001 wouldn't get a penny.

Joe Public can look up the rateable value of any building on the SAA website, so that will give you a fair idea of who is getting what grant. https://www.saa.gov.uk/

[Sherrif John Bunnell]

This is from today's Sunday Telegraph, not Private Eye.

[Bairnardo]

Now comes the division of responsibilities.

The government are responsible for ensuring the NHS can cope. They will do this by doling out contracts to their pals to make ventilators that never see the light of day.

We the public are responsible for making sure no one gets the virus, and if folk die it's entirely our fault.

[Dunfermline Don]

How about controlling it properly first you useless Tory p***ks.

Apparently clapping loudly, banging pots and pans, doing the conga in the street and dressing up as a spitfire all show that pesky virus who is boss and lets it know it’s place!

[doulikefish]

Its going to be like the red weather warning a few years ago "im far too important to stay at home" says senga the receptionist 

Utter chaos incoming 

[Aufc]

Had a bizarre experience the other night. There is a caravan park about 3 minutes walk along from my estate with some serviced apartments in front of them. Beside this there is an area of land which currently has three diggers sitting there doing nothing. As my son loves all things construction we often go down here for a wander and a play about.

On this occasion this old bird came out from caravan park and told me i shouldn’t be there as it was private property. I told her it wasnt and she said i was going to give them all coronavirus (it is mostly older people who live there). I told her i was no where near any of them so that wouldnt happen. She then said she hoped i got coronavirus and if that happened my son would end up in intensive care. She said i was a great example to my son after i told her to go f**k herself. We then argued some more and she was shouting at me to piss off whilst i called her an idiot.

People are fucking nuts

[Jacksgranda]

47 minutes ago, Sherrif John Bunnell said:

This is from today's Sunday Telegraph, not Private Eye.

It's obviously not from Private Eye as it would have said "continued on page 94".