Funniest election result

[ICTChris]

While everyone gets on with hating each other, we should take some time to have a good chuckle at the funny election results.

A clear front runner is the complete tanking of the Alba Party and All For Unity, a couple of amoral egotists getting their just desserts.

The crackpot Britain First woman getting 40 votes in Glasgow was also pretty funny. 

The Lib Dem’s piling up votes by the thousand in their safe seats but getting about 100 votes everywhere else is also quite funny. I believe Willie Rennie set some sort of record with his election, extremely incongruous.

The London mayoral has the potential for some amusement, with some even suggesting the Tory sacrificial lamb might have an outside chance. That dreadful actor, the self help grifter and the Corbyns mad brother will provide some amusement when they get less than 1%.

Share your amusing results here.

[Pocketman]

James Kelly.

Even by former cooncillor/Labour MSP levels he takes the cake for his levels of thickness (any time figures are involved in any of his questions his and everyone else's hearts must sink). His communication skills suggest he does trouble to string together words never mind sentences and his social media entries are something to be believed.  But what stands out for me was his vocal and populist opposition to the Offensive Behaviour at Football.....Act, constantly with an announcement that he would work across all parties to replace it with something better when it was repealed. Then of course once he had his moment in the sun, couldn't give a flying feck about what people chant at football. Job done, profile risen. 

Am not quite sure what the situation was in Rutherglen - perhaps Labour were convinced he would win and not need the fall back of a list seat or what? In any case and am not sure how his constituents feel, but for me its very nice to see a long standing trough and gravy train man, who in my view has done absolutely nothing of positive significance in 13 odd years as an MSP, being shown the door.

 

[BFTD]

I've no doubt there's a highlights reel of the 1997 results somewhere on YouTube.

Personally speaking, every few years I like to relax in front of my original extended play VHS with a refreshing beverage. I don't think I'll be lucky enough to experience a better election night than that.

[Michael W]

The Lib Dems finished behind a man dressed as a penguin in a council election back in 2012. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-scotland-17960490

The rinsing of Salmond and Galloway, two reprehensible individuals, is both funny and pleasing. 

Whilst he will get utterly tanked in the run off, it wod be very funny if Shaun Bailey did beat Khan in the first round or finished very close to him, owing to people wasting votes on some YouTube tosser or the assortment of lunatics stinking out the list. Bailey is a candidate that looks very good on paper as his background far from a typical Tory, but my word he is thick. 

[craigkillie]

23 minutes ago, KingRocketman II said:

But what stands out for me was his vocal and populist opposition to the Offensive Behaviour at Football.....Act, constantly with an announcement that he would work across all parties to replace it with something better when it was repealed. Then of course once he had his moment in the sun, couldn't give a flying feck about what people chant at football. Job done, profile risen.

That was about the one good thing he did. There was absolutely no need to "replace it with something better" given that people singing offensive songs in public is already illegal whether it's at the football or not.

[Pocketman]

17 minutes ago, craigkillie said:

That was about the one good thing he did. There was absolutely no need to "replace it with something better" given that people singing offensive songs in public is already illegal whether it's at the football or not.

I don't agree with your assessment given the well known issue that certain football grounds act as a conduit for such songs and many fans know by singing them in stadia, as opposed to standing themselves on Buchanan St singing such songs, they will not face any penalty. 

But that is not the issue and no need for us to go over old ground. He said he would lead the process in pushing through a new act which would suggest that he felt a replacement act or stronger/better legislation was indeed needed (but not one in his view that would specifically single out those poor out upon bigoted football fans). 

[SANTAN]

 

[GordonS]

My all-time favourite involves Glaswegian Tory and all-round Thatcherite cliché Gerry Malone. Even Tories hated this guy, especially in Scotland.

Malone became MP for Aberdeen South in 1983 but lost the seat to Labour in 1987. He always regarded Scotland as beneath him, so for the next election he got himself nominated in uber-Tory Winchester. This seat had returned a Tory/Unionist at every election since the formation of that party apart from 1832-35 and 1945-50. He got 50% of the vote, easily beating the Lib Dems.

So sure was he of keeping his seat in 1997 that he got his family to register to vote at their giant Aberdeenshire residence rather than at their home in Winchester.

He lost by two votes.

He couldn't accept it, so he challenged the result in court and got a remarkably kind decision that some papers that lacked the official mark (stamped on the back and numbered, which is what they do before giving you your paper) could have counted, giving him the win. The by-election was held in November 1997.

Malone lost by 21,556 votes as the Lib Dems took 68%. 

[Donathan]

UKIP MEP David Coburn talking up his chances to win Falkirk in the 2015 general election before embarrassingly losing his deposit.


Salmond getting papped out by the Tories was also hilarious.

[Kejan]

SNP winning the regional list in Shetland this year.

Bye Bye Libs soon.

[San Starko Rover]

Jim Murphy after he’s “We won’t lose a single seat to the SNP” then lost his own seat to the SNP along with pretty much every seat Labour had.

[tamthebam]

Mentioned elsewhere but "future PM" Jo Swinson being voted out her seat 

David Mellor getting kicked out in 1997 among lots of other Tories with James Goldsmith winding him up was funny 

 

[John Lambies Doos]

Jim Murphy after he’s “We won’t lose a single seat to the SNP” then lost his own seat to the SNP along with pretty much every seat Labour had.

Yup..also going around with a milk crate pontificating to around 10 people, despite state media taking photos close up distorting this. Also when he allegedly paid a Fife man to throw and egg at him so he could blame the nationalists.....oh and @Ad Lib throwing the eyes on stage.

[Boo Khaki]

Michael Connarty losing his seat to the SNP by nearly 13,000 votes at the 2015 GE.

The resignation speech was glorious. A tear-stained snottery rant in which he claimed that the Scots electorate did not know what they were doing, and that only hell would mend them.

Cya, you enormous arse. Prototypical contemptuous, entitled, taking the electorate for granted 90's era Labour. Good fucking riddance.

[kevthedee]

Salmond getting punted in the 2017 general election was funny as f**k as was Jackie Baillie being elected yesterday especially when you all pished your pants when you thought she might get punted pleasing.

[Hillonearth]

3 hours ago, KingRocketman II said:

James Kelly.

Even by former cooncillor/Labour MSP levels he takes the cake for his levels of thickness (any time figures are involved in any of his questions his and everyone else's hearts must sink). His communication skills suggest he does trouble to string together words never mind sentences and his social media entries are something to be believed.  But what stands out for me was his vocal and populist opposition to the Offensive Behaviour at Football.....Act, constantly with an announcement that he would work across all parties to replace it with something better when it was repealed. Then of course once he had his moment in the sun, couldn't give a flying feck about what people chant at football. Job done, profile risen. 

Am not quite sure what the situation was in Rutherglen - perhaps Labour were convinced he would win and not need the fall back of a list seat or what? In any case and am not sure how his constituents feel, but for me its very nice to see a long standing trough and gravy train man, who in my view has done absolutely nothing of positive significance in 13 odd years as an MSP, being shown the door.

 

That's my constituency...the targeted shite I've been receiving from The Branch Office was playing heavily on the SNP not being fit for office due to that dopey cow Ferrier's jaunt to London while loaded with the COVID.

I'm guessing they saw it as a low-hanging-fruit potential gain, only for them to be emptied with a 4.5% swing TO the SNP. Pleasing.

[jamamafegan]

Jo Swinson losing her seat and the subsequent Sturgeon celebration. Unforgettable stuff.

[Gareth_Glasgow]

36 minutes ago, San Starko Rover said:

Jim Murphy after he’s “We won’t lose a single seat to the SNP” then lost his own seat to the SNP along with pretty much every seat Labour had.

This was my favourite too, even more so since I got to vote him out. It was fundilymundily a disaster of a campaign all round.

Edited May 8, 2021 by Gareth_Glasgow

[ICTChris]

1 hour ago, GordonS said:

My all-time favourite involves Glaswegian Tory and all-round Thatcherite cliché Gerry Malone. Even Tories hated this guy, especially in Scotland.

Malone became MP for Aberdeen South in 1983 but lost the seat to Labour in 1987. He always regarded Scotland as beneath him, so for the next election he got himself nominated in uber-Tory Winchester. This seat had returned a Tory/Unionist at every election since the formation of that party apart from 1832-35 and 1945-50. He got 50% of the vote, easily beating the Lib Dems.

So sure was he of keeping his seat in 1997 that he got his family to register to vote at their giant Aberdeenshire residence rather than at their home in Winchester.

He lost by two votes.

He couldn't accept it, so he challenged the result in court and got a remarkably kind decision that some papers that lacked the official mark (stamped on the back and numbered, which is what they do before giving you your paper) could have counted, giving him the win. The by-election was held in November 1997.

Malone lost by 21,556 votes as the Lib Dems took 68%. 

The guy he lost it to had to leave politics after he was caught paying a male prostitute to defecate on him.

[GordonS]

3 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

The guy he lost it to had to leave politics after he was caught paying a male prostitute to defecate on him.

Mark Oaten = potty mouth.

Hard to believe he had to pay someone to do that tbh, I imagine there would have been hundreds of thousands at least who would have paid good money to take a dump on his face.