Leith Green Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 Might seem a bit of an odd one this, but there is a backstory - My wifes oldest friend and her husband - they were at school together, so +45 years - have always been a good laugh, we have spent many family trips away with them, loads of time out and been key parts of family weddings etc. I have known them for 20 years or so. Thing is, my wifes friend - who has always been on the "vegan" "natural therapies" side (which is fine), seems to have gone into orbit since Covid hit. She is completely anti vax (apparently always has been, I just didnt know), she has cited all these ludicrous theories from russian based accounts etc and had a big influence on her kids and their families not having the covid vax etc.......................she is bright and can be very persuasive. I am not talking about someone who is concerned about the manufacture or testing, this is someone who thinks its about population control ! Anyway, for various reasons we havent seen them f2f for at least 2 years. We recently had them stay with us, my wife had told her we wouldnt touch on "controversial subjects", had the night out, few drinks, good chat etc which was all good - til she started on politics. I am a bit of a leftie, and hearing things like "people on benefits have the most disposable income" and "we shouldnt pay any benefits as there are loads of jobs" and "I think there might be fault on both sides" re Russia invading Ukraine was eye opening - but I guess everyone can have their own opinion? I dont generally get into friends politics, but having it shoved down my throat deffo gets on my thruppeny bits. The final straw was when she said that "Nicola" had implemented a residential hosepipe ban all over Scotland just because it happened in England - she simply wouldnt believe me when I told her that this was bullshit and had not happened. She has gone full on right wing facebook nutter, and - I mean, you dont want to tell a house guest to f**k off, especially when shes my wifes oldest friend........................but I think its clear we are now at the end of the "couples" stuff. I suspect that what will happen is we wont see much of them, and my wife will just meet her for occasional coffee for old times sake. Anyway, interested to see if others on P&B have considered (or actually gone thru with) losing friends after a long time. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the tungston weasel Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 Sorry to hear. That sucks. Everyone knows that talking politics, especially now everything is polarised, when having drink with friends is a bad idea but some buggers are just hell bent on doing it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Jean King Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 We tried the "couples" thing many years ago and abandoned it very quickly. We also abandoned the "staying over" thing as well after we had an old friend stay and then couldn't get them out the next day until early-afternoon when I finally said it was time to go as we were going out for the day. The problem is getting and expecting 4 people to get along. After about 8 attempts with different couples we just gave up. Much happier meeting up with the tiny handful friends I still keep in touch with on my own for a beer or whatever. And we never have people round to the house as a hard rule. None of my friends has seen the inside of my house and they never will and I've never seen theirs either. It's just so much better this way. ETA. I don't care what the politics of other people are. They can literally believe what they want. It's just not relevant in the scheme of things. Doesn't mean I agree with them but the price of being free is that sometimes people have strongly opposing views to you. I draw the line at people expressing things like sexism or racism or homophobia in front of me but beyond that they can believe whatever they like. You can't control how other people think.Keys in the fruit bowl ???Surprised you haven't written a book about it ! 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sergeant Wilson Posted August 27, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted August 27, 2022 1 hour ago, oaksoft said: We tried the "couples" thing many years ago and abandoned it very quickly. We also abandoned the "staying over" thing as well after we had an old friend stay and then couldn't get them out the next day until early-afternoon when I finally said it was time to go as we were going out for the day. The problem is getting and expecting 4 people to get along. After about 8 attempts with different couples we just gave up. Much happier meeting up with the tiny handful friends I still keep in touch with on my own for a beer or whatever. And we never have people round to the house as a hard rule. None of my friends has seen the inside of my house and they never will and I've never seen theirs either. It's just so much better this way. ETA. I don't care what the politics of other people are. They can literally believe what they want. It's just not relevant in the scheme of things. Doesn't mean I agree with them but the price of being free is that sometimes people have strongly opposing views to you. I draw the line at people expressing things like sexism or racism or homophobia in front of me but beyond that they can believe whatever they like. You can't control how other people think. ^^^common denominator. 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 I've found it pretty easy to agree not to talk about stuff we're never going to agree about with old friends who've gone Brexity or whatever. Took a while and some very boring and repetitive arguments to get there though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 Since social media took off, folk are perhaps a bit more likely to show you who they really are IRL too. Bit of a shiter if you have to be around them, but otherwise it's probably a good thing to know more about people, rather than trusting them for years, only to be accused of being part of the Illuminati conspiracy because you started dating a Jew. For example. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 4 hours ago, oaksoft said: We tried the "couples" thing many years ago and abandoned it very quickly. We also abandoned the "staying over" thing as well after we had an old friend stay and then couldn't get them out the next day until early-afternoon when I finally said it was time to go as we were going out for the day. The problem is getting and expecting 4 people to get along. After about 8 attempts with different couples we just gave up. Much happier meeting up with the tiny handful friends I still keep in touch with on my own for a beer or whatever. And we never have people round to the house as a hard rule. None of my friends has seen the inside of my house and they never will and I've never seen theirs either. It's just so much better this way. ETA. I don't care what the politics of other people are. They can literally believe what they want. It's just not relevant in the scheme of things. Doesn't mean I agree with them but the price of being free is that sometimes people have strongly opposing views to you. I draw the line at people expressing things like sexism or racism or homophobia in front of me but beyond that they can believe whatever they like. You can't control how other people think. Me and missus might have to take a rain check on next weekend mate. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 Regarding the original point, a lassie I used to train with at jiu jitsu went w bit mad during lockdown, posted loads of conspiracies etc. I think she was perhaps a bit vulnerable mentally and lockdown pushed her over the edge. This sounds strange but she was still very nice through it so I didn’t unfriend her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 (edited) I know really decent and normally rational people who are full bore into every conspiracy theory going. I think for them it's just a hobby and they aren't that arsed if they're true or not. P.S. I find it intensely annoying though so if they won't shut up about it I avoid them. Arguing is futile, you just get told you don't know what you're talking about unless you spend 6 hours watching a series of youtube videos by some nutcase. Edited August 27, 2022 by welshbairn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 1 hour ago, ICTChris said: . This sounds strange but she was still very nice through it so I didn’t unfriend her. Wid status confirmed. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 As said earlier, unless a friend was openly being racist or homophobic etc I couldn't care less about their politics or beliefs, in fact I'd probably enjoy a good political chat among friends of all persuasions as long as everyone else was as laid back about it. Very unlikely though as too many people are absolutely convinced theirs are the only acceptable beliefs, thanks in part to social media echo chambers. We have some good 'couple' friends who we go out with and have gone away for short breaks with etc, who I know for a fact would strongly disagree with some of my political leanings, so in that case I just make sure it doesn't come up or certain things get moved swiftly on from. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 Guy I used to work with claimed Bayern Munich stole his tactics. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 I have a very close friend I met through work who is gay. We had a great team who all got in really well and are still friends now, even though most of us have changed jobs. When she announced she was getting a civil partnership, one of the team brought in religious leaflets about how homosexuality is wrong and against Gods law. I think he hadn’t realised she was gay and was conflicted about being friends with her, so spoke to someone at his mosque and was told to give these leaflets. My friend basically told him to f**k off and keep his views to himself and he did and they stayed mates. It’s a strange thing, she said she didn’t mind him openly stating his beliefs about it and he didn’t seem to mind being told to f**k off and they just carried on being friends like before. She said she kind of respected him for saying it - there was at least one other person in work who clearly thought she was a depraved sinner but never openly said it to her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 9 minutes ago, ICTChris said: When she announced she was getting a civil partnership, one of the team brought in religious leaflets about how homosexuality is wrong and against Gods law. Seriously, WTF is wrong with people. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTG_03 Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 Got one friend who I think has had a mental breakdown during lockdown. Constantly posting stuff about transgender folk, the SNP corrupting kids, toilets and the looney left. It's thoroughly depressing to see, he is from a relatively wealthy Christian family which may explain something. I used to meet up with him when I went back home but I've not the last couple of times. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 58 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said: Guy I used to work with claimed Bayern Munich stole his tactics. Guy I used to work with claimed I stole his tictacs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUcal Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 Aye, got a couple of mates that have gone full on fucking moon howler - in the last few years especially. Shame, as there wasn't many folk I really kept in contact with back home in Ayr (except from the folk that go to Ayr games). There's now only a couple of folk I choose to meet up with when I'm back cause I just can't be arsed listening to the other folks shite. Maybe it's just a case of moving of away and meeting folk who I have far more in common with, but I definitely think these folk have found an echo chamber on social media that reassures them that their mental viewpoints are all good. Happy to listen to different viewpoints and opinions - but when they pipe up with racist/ xenophobic shite or the population control and equally mental conspiracy theories - am fucking done. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 12 minutes ago, supermik said: Guy I used to work with claimed I stole his tictacs. Are you Bayern Munich? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 1 hour ago, Richey Edwards said: Guy I used to work with claimed Bayern Munich stole his tactics. I hope it was the mint ones. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 1 minute ago, philpy said: I hope it was the mint ones. If it was the orange ones then Big Team found 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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