Female breadwinner, male househusband

[ICTChris]

A new study has found that unemployed men prefer their partner to also be out of work.  The University of Bath study analysed data from 42,000 people across nine countries and found that couples where the woman is the main breadwinner had lower average well-being than those where both contributed equally or the man was the main provider.  In the UK, life satisfaction for men was 0.22 higher among couples where both were unemployed compared to couples where the woman was the main earner and the man was unemployed (this was done on a scale of 10 - highest life satisfaction, 1 - lowest).  The finding seemed to persist across different countries and was present in countries with higher equality between the sexes.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/unemployed-men-masculinity-gender-roles-b2364228.html

The full study can be found here - https://academic.oup.com/esr/advance-article/doi/10.1093/esr/jcad034/7190495?login=false

What do P&Bers think of these findings?

Are any male P&Bers kept men, spending their days at home wearing a pinny baking fairy cakes while their wife or significant other is out grafting?

Are any female P&Bers high flying business-women who are just looking for a man to keep the house tidy while they are jetting around the world sealing deals?

 

[paranoid android]

'unemployed men prefer their partner to also be out of work' = unemployed men want to stay home and shag all day. 

[2426255]

Interesting topic. Not really a comment on the study but the whole house husband thing is something I'd be open to personally - Think it would be brilliant and quite freeing at least for a period of time rather than the rest of my working life. I'd probably prefer if my girlfriend was at work rather than unemployed so that's kind of contrary to the findings of the study. 

Edited June 27, 2023 by 2426255

[The Moonster]

10 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Are any male P&Bers kept men, spending their days at home wearing a pinny baking fairy cakes while their wife or significant other is out grafting?

Hiya Moonster! Hiya pal!

I've been the "house husband" for nearly 2 years. I was utterly miserable at my work and my girlfriend could see that, when she got pregnant we discussed how we wanted to bring our wean up and we decided we'd rather we had a bit less money in return for one of us always being there for the kid at almost all times. She earned quite a bit more than me, was generally happy in her job and works 98% of the time from home so it made sense for me to chuck it. 

In terms of happiness, it's through the roof now compared to we were both working. We obviously have our struggles, money is tight but we aren't flashy or materliastic people so we get by fine. With both of us in the house even with her working we both get to see the growth in our wee one and its so rewarding. She started walking this week and if we'd both been working we'd both have missed that. I'll take that over money all day everyday. 

As for the question of would I prefer she was also unemployed, I'm not sure it's a great question. Wouldn't everyone be happier if they could spend more time with their partner? (Insert joke about how much you hate your wife here). 

[welshbairn]

I'm sure a fair amount of men would rather be out at work than alone looking after screaming kids all day.

[CarrbridgeSaintee]

I think men and women naturally gravitate toward their respective gender roles, but that doesn’t mean it always has be that way.

Respect to yourself @The Moonster who seems to be doing well by bucking the trend.

To cope with kids coming along, my wife went from full time to only 2 days a week.  We’ve had to cut our cloth accordingly, but like yourself we’re not materialistic, so it’s all worked out fine.

So far!

[Melanius Mullarkey]

If Mrs Mullarkey entered a competition and bread was the prize, i'd sack her on the spot. 

And not in the biblical sense either. 

[Ross.]

Been fortunate that we have been able to live on my wage for three 3 years since  our boy was born. The wife will be back working close to full time in the next few years, and all going well she will be earning enough that if I wanted to I would be able to chuck full time work and do something that involves fewer hours. We’ll see what happens on that score. I think I could happily do the house husband thing, but I’m equally aware that with both of us working and the boy at school at that point, we’d be well placed to live a fairly comfortable life for as long as we choose to. We’ll see how it goes.

The first 6 months I lived in Switzerland I was home all day every day while I looked for work. I found it tortuous then, though nothing to do with her being at work, but I think now I would cope significantly better.

[Jambomo]

46 minutes ago, CarrbridgeSaintee said:

I think men and women naturally gravitate toward their respective gender roles, but that doesn’t mean it always has be that way.

Respect to yourself @The Moonster who seems to be doing well by bucking the trend.

To cope with kids coming along, my wife went from full time to only 2 days a week.  We’ve had to cut our cloth accordingly, but like yourself we’re not materialistic, so it’s all worked out fine.

So far!

No way, not for me anyway. I am the last person you’d consider a domestic goddess and there’s no way I would ever have a kid, never mind staying at home to look after it.

 

[2426255]

39 minutes ago, Ross. said:

The first 6 months I lived in Switzerland I was home all day every day while I looked for work. I found it tortuous then, though nothing to do with her being at work, but I think now I would cope significantly better.

Depends also where you live, if you're living in the suburbs or a residential area where everyone tends towards the traditional 9-5 lifestyle I could imagine it would have the potential to be seriously dull and maybe create the feeling that you're just wasting your life. In the heart of the city with good neighbour's on more varied schedules and plenty going on around you would be better if you ask me. 

[TxRover]

Offered to do this about 10 years ago…I’d take the early retirement offer and she’d start on the job she was trained for…she made a few, halfhearted attempts to get a job and then told me to keep working. Now I’m retired and watching the kid, and while an older child is different than a younger one, I think it wouldn’t be terrible…there is a good bit that isn’t lying about watching the wean or doing what you want, but it beats the 9-5 and pissy bosses.

Edited June 27, 2023 by TxRover

[ICTChris]

Once the kids are in school, househusbanding/wifing must be a piece of piss.  How long does it take to do a bit of hoovering, load up a dishwasher, stick some clothes in the machine and hang them out?  An hour, if that.  Then you've got the rest of the day to yourself, you could take up pottery or marathon running or learning Old Norse to read the sagas in their original language.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

17 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Once the kids are in school, househusbanding/wifing must be a piece of piss.  How long does it take to do a bit of hoovering, load up a dishwasher, stick some clothes in the machine and hang them out?  An hour, if that.  Then you've got the rest of the day to yourself, you could take up pottery or marathon running or learning Old Norse to read the sagas in their original language.

Or work your way through 60 Marlboro, as is the way.

[Darren]

Our career paths could mean this happens in our house in the future. I wish she'd get a bloody move on, to be honest, as getting through 60 Marlboro a day some Old Norse would be great.

[pub car king]

I work 4 days on 4 days off. The best part was when I had 4 weekdays off, after the school run I had 6 hours to myself it was fucking bliss. 

Now she's got a job primarily working from home. It's fucking shite, I have to keep finding jobs to do to look busy instead of just sitting on my scratcher for hours on end and then running the hoover round in 10 minutes.

[coprolite]

34 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Once the kids are in school, househusbanding/wifing must be a piece of piss.  How long does it take to do a bit of hoovering, load up a dishwasher, stick some clothes in the machine and hang them out?  An hour, if that.  Then you've got the rest of the day to yourself, you could take up pottery or marathon running or learning Old Norse to read the sagas in their original language.

Me working from home has certainly made this particular grift more difficult for the wife to sustain. Putting on a load of washing and watching diagnosis murder is no more a job than me logging on and moving my mouse every five minutes while shitposting.

[RH33]

One of the "excuses" given in that horrific murder/suicide with the teacher down in England was that he struggled with her earning more.

 

[Ross.]

7 minutes ago, RH33 said:

One of the "excuses" given in that horrific murder/suicide with the teacher down in England was that he struggled with her earning more.

 

Events have proven that he was a fucking idiot.

[BFTD]

I'd always assumed that keeping house for a high-earning wife was the dream for most men, but maybe not. Personally, I'd have been quite happy cleaning and taking care of the kids without having to deal with the general public on a daily basis.

God, she might have expected me to provide sexual satisfaction upon her return too. The agony.

[StellarHibee]

If i'm out of work and the wife is also out of work, that is fucking work.