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Scottish Football's Top Cult Heroes


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Hello folks, 

I’m trying to curate the ultimate list of Scottish football cult heroes. 

Can you help?  Add your own club heroes in the thread…

There’s a few parameters though…

I’m not looking for your obvious cult heroes or club legends, I’m looking for more quirky, oddball suggestions.

  • Players that may have been outrageously talented, but didnae give a f*ck. Or they did, but sporadically. And on their terms. And around their 'lifestyle choices'. 
  • They may have been limited in footballing talent, but had a strong moustache game. 
  • They may never have driven Ferraris, but they drove your fans wild with their 'get stuck in' attitude. They gave 100% and liked an agricultural tackle or two.
  • The only 6 pack they had was the one in the fridge of the Tennent's variety with wifies on the sides of the tins.
  • They may have only been at your club for a very short period, but they made their mark. 

You get the idea! :)

Cheers!

BTW: I am trying to get design suggestions for the designer of this site: https://www.whatastramash.com

Edited by Rustybadge
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To kick off: 

My team:
Hearts

My cult heroes: 

- Phil Stamp (underrated, slightly overweight, very talented).

- Pasquale Bruno (tough reputation, merited - but also silky).

- Ian Baird - fairly gash as I remember, but gave us newspaper clippings to stick on the wall like the attached photo: :)
 

baird.jpg

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Who are you curating this for? Yourself or some other publication?

Anyway, Falkirk, and mine.

1) Crawford Baptie (could stop the thread here, tbh) (skills, concussions, goals, red cards)

2) Richard Cadette (goals, goals, goals)

3) Peter Houston (goals, 100% effort, luminous orange 'tache)

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14 minutes ago, Ranaldo Bairn said:

Who are you curating this for? Yourself or some other publication?

Anyway, Falkirk, and mine.

1) Crawford Baptie (could stop the thread here, tbh) (skills, concussions, goals, red cards)

2) Richard Cadette (goals, goals, goals)

3) Peter Houston (goals, 100% effort, luminous orange 'tache)

I'm creating it for myself chief, and for a personal project (a website). 

I asked the same question in a Hearts forum recently tho, and ended up with over 150 players!  It was totally fascinating, some of the names that popped up. e.g. a guy called Andy Thorne who played ONE game for Hearts. Drafted in by Jim Jeffries, Thorn was an ex-Wimbledon 'crazy gang' member I believe.  

Very interested to see the names that pop up from other teams. Thanks for your suggestions!  Peter Houston's name has popped up a few times speaking to other Falkirk fans I know.  I only relate to him as a Hearts coach, but he must have made an impression on you folks... :)

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Stelios. Banged a drum and ate a sweetie from a packet thrown at him by Morton fans.

Tomas ‘George Michael’ Stickroth. Once upon a time he put a beauty of a cross from the corner flag area at the Piggery straight onto Gunni Torfason’s napper, and was a big handsome basturt’ to boot.

Gareth Wardlaw. Scored one at Aberdeen.

Franco Miranda. Had a pwoper naughty glamourous foreign fitba’ players name, and although no-one had a fcuking clue what position he was playing, he could play.

Mark Yardley. Has a heart-attack inducing big breakfast named after him at the Buddie Good Food van. Say no more.

Victor. Spanish international who (apparently) joined us in some part in order to learn English with a view to him going into punditry at a World Cup. That’s right. A Spaniard wanted to learn English… by moving to Paisley.

We have hunners’ of cult heroes. 😎

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Dominique Malonga was one of the first names I thought of. Had potential to be a good player but only showed it when he felt like it. Scored a few brilliant goals, Aberdeen/Raith in the cup games spring to mind, said he didn’t care about the Rangers then fucked off back into obscurity. Some man.

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Chic Charnley. Outrageously talented, total waster. The sword fighting incident alone ensures legendary status. On his debut for us just after new year (he was brilliant) he was getting interviewed by Chick Young. You’ve got a black eye, how did that happen said Chick. I got first fitted was the reply. 

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Chic Charnley is the obvious mention here. Profoundly gifted but an utter bam.

Leon Constantine came loan for, I think, three games. MOTM in each one. He wasn't match fit so only lasted an hour or so in his last match at Brockville where he played like prime Zidane. He was recalled to his parent club and that was that. A myth.

 

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