CarrbridgeSaintee Posted Monday at 16:35 Share Posted Monday at 16:35 30 minutes ago, throbber said: You always assume it ends in heartbreak because you are talking about affairs that were uncovered. How many affairs get successfully hidden would be the interesting stat here which we’ll never know. There must be people all of us know who have cheated and got away with it. Good point Throbs 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted Monday at 17:07 Share Posted Monday at 17:07 What's the threshold for cheating, and what's the threshold for an affair? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted Monday at 17:12 Share Posted Monday at 17:12 1 minute ago, Bairnardo said: What's the threshold for cheating, and what's the threshold for an affair? The YouGov poll earlier covered this, responses below - overall result then Male and Female respones. 1% say that none of having sex, having oral sex, sex with a prostitute, kissing, webcam sex, sexting or having an emotional relationship is cheating, wtf. Women seem to have a lower bar for what they consider an affair than men. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted Monday at 17:13 Share Posted Monday at 17:13 4 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: What's the threshold for cheating, and what's the threshold for an affair? Dipping your wick on a drunken Saturday night =cheating Dipping your wick with the same person more than twice and not drunk = Affair Imo obviously 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Khaki Posted Monday at 17:30 Share Posted Monday at 17:30 On 15/09/2024 at 13:45, ICTChris said: What's the point in getting married if you have five or more affairs? Well... Technically you can't actually be an adulterer without being married in the first place 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Khaki Posted Monday at 17:39 Share Posted Monday at 17:39 My personal view of folk having affairs/cheating is that there is no black & white, and you can't really judge individuals without full knowledge of circumstance. I wouldn't think much of someone who is just an inveterate shagger who will take any opportunity, regardless of relationship status, and for no other reason than they want their hole. I have a mate who was terrible for this when we were younger, and the thing that confused me is that he never once mentioned any sort of unhappiness or disaffection with the relationship he was in, yet give him any chance of a sniff and he'd be away off with some other lassie. He even did it right in front of his current once when we were on a night oot. Just walked away from her and disappeared off with a random lass. I didn't think much of him at this point because I also considered his mrs a pal. In fairness to him, he calmed it right down later, and probably didn't really have any choice because he rapidly became a big fat basturt I think it's different for somebody who is in a long-term relationship where there are problems that can't easily be resolved, and cause a constant level of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. It's fine for outsiders to say "well you just leave that relationship before doing the dirty", which I can understand, but sometimes it's genuinely not as simple as just packing up and walking away. Perhaps you just don't want to walk away from someone you care deeply about, perhaps even still love, but for whatever reason there is something fundamentally missing in that relationship, and I don't blame anyone at all for trying to find happiness if that means they get the missing component from someone else outside of their main relationship. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Khaki Posted Monday at 17:41 Share Posted Monday at 17:41 28 minutes ago, ICTChris said: The YouGov poll earlier covered this, responses below - overall result then Male and Female respones. 1% say that none of having sex, having oral sex, sex with a prostitute, kissing, webcam sex, sexting or having an emotional relationship is cheating, wtf. Women seem to have a lower bar for what they consider an affair than men. The f**k is "webcam sex"? Sounds like a lassie's term for wanking 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted Monday at 17:50 Share Posted Monday at 17:50 36 minutes ago, doulikefish said: Dipping your wick on a drunken Saturday night =cheating Dipping your wick with the same person more than twice and not drunk = Affair Imo obviously So all affairs are cheating, but not all cheating is an affair? Seems fair enough 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted Monday at 18:10 Share Posted Monday at 18:10 57 minutes ago, ICTChris said: The YouGov poll earlier covered this, responses below - overall result then Male and Female respones. 1% say that none of having sex, having oral sex, sex with a prostitute, kissing, webcam sex, sexting or having an emotional relationship is cheating, wtf. Women seem to have a lower bar for what they consider an affair than men. Did Bill Clinton take part in this survey? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted Monday at 18:22 Share Posted Monday at 18:22 (edited) I like my setup with ad hoc offshore work whereby my other half knows I can return home at any moment, but also that I could just get dropped off at the heliport and go anywhere for up to a month, no questions asked. Just don't get a tan, especially when on nightshift. Edited Monday at 18:34 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted Monday at 18:49 Share Posted Monday at 18:49 I had a flirty thing with a girl once, nothing happened other than flirty texts but I was pretty unhappy in the relationship I was in with my fiancé, as you’d expect, I got caught out whilst I was at work & had inadvertently left my phone at home, this was 20 years ago & before phone locks were really a thing. Anyhow, my fiancé confronted the other lassie (went to her door, that day), the other lassie replied o her that “maybe if you were keeping him happy at home, he’d not be flirting with me” shockingly, it was maybe the kick up the arse that was needed for both of us to put more effort into our relationship. I’m not sure if I’d have followed thru if I hadn’t been caught, as I think it’s scummy behaviour, however I can kinda understand why it happens if you are unhappy, but still in love. f**k knows it’s a minefield. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted Monday at 19:34 Share Posted Monday at 19:34 1 hour ago, Hedgecutter said: I like my setup with ad hoc offshore work whereby my other half knows I can return home at any moment, but also that I could just get dropped off at the heliport and go anywhere for up to a month, no questions asked. Just don't get a tan, especially when on nightshift. Just don't drunk text her from a nightclub in Rio 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted Monday at 19:42 Share Posted Monday at 19:42 My philandering colleague once met a lady who he obviously knew well while on a work do. A blind-drunk co-worker of ours asked her whether she was the wife or the girlfriend. Fortunately, not the wife. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted Monday at 20:51 Share Posted Monday at 20:51 Sleazy f**kers are not to be trusted on any level. Poor excuses for human beings. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted Monday at 21:02 Share Posted Monday at 21:02 I reckon it relates to maturity - daft laddies/lassies think their actions carry no consequences; grown ups tend to think thing through and how the endgame might pan out. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentGuerin Posted Monday at 21:31 Share Posted Monday at 21:31 Cheated on my girlfriend when I was 19 and lasted about a week before fessing up and was deservedly chucked. Never done it again. I do know a lot of people who have had affairs and to be honest as I get older I'm becoming less judgemental of it. I don't mean it is something I'm all for, I just mean that as I get older I see that stuff happens in life and things are not really always black and white. Most people I know who have done so have done it out of loneliness within their marriage for whatever reason. People of both sexes with really similar stories. Not bad people as such, and I generally consider the friends I know who have done so to be trustworthy people in general. A friend of my missus is having an affair at the moment. We found out in quite a convoluted way, but we know for sure. The missus quietly brought it up with her and she gave her the whole story about basically being really lonely, but there's the kids and the mortgage and so on and so on. I can see how that happens. Ideally, people would just leave their partner if they want to, but that's not really how life works. When my missus' pal's affair came to light one of the things my missus says reassures her about us is that either of us could walk away with very little difficulty tomorrow if we wanted to, so there's not much point in either of us having an affair etc. She's a very practical lassie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted Monday at 21:32 Share Posted Monday at 21:32 27 minutes ago, alta-pete said: I reckon it relates to maturity - daft laddies/lassies think their actions carry no consequences; grown ups tend to think thing through and how the endgame might pan out. Or, like myself, you might just be a bit of a boring auld vanilla fart who got really lucky with the woman he married a lifetime ago and never felt the need / urge to step outside of the relationship. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Khaki Posted Monday at 22:44 Share Posted Monday at 22:44 (edited) 1 hour ago, Florentine_Pogen said: Or, like myself, you might just be a bit of a boring auld vanilla fart who got really lucky with the woman he married a lifetime ago and never felt the need / urge to step outside of the relationship. Sometimes takes a couple of go-arounds to mature to the point whereby you understand and recognise what a good relationship is actually like. No substitute for experience and all that. There aren't really any easy do-overs once you've got to the stage where you've married someone, got a mortgage, kids etc, and lord knows I've seen plenty people do that with other people who I thought they were either wholly unsuited to be with, or it was self-evident the relationship was shitty/flawed. But how do you go about saying that to somebody without coming across as an interfering arsehole who sticks their nose in where it isn't wanted. Some folk also seem to only be able to have a relationship if it's constant drama, fighting, chaos, trying to one-up each other constantly etc etc. Not for me because I want a nice, quiet life, but some other people seem to thrive on bullshit and headaches and positively seek it out. Edited Monday at 22:45 by Boo Khaki 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrewDon Posted Monday at 22:47 Share Posted Monday at 22:47 A snog is not an affair. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted Tuesday at 00:05 Share Posted Tuesday at 00:05 1 hour ago, DrewDon said: A snog is not an affair, m’lud. FTFY. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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