Hedgecutter Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 'Sheep pedestrians' - where one person at the front of a group checks the road for cars and crosses safely, whilst everybody behind just crosses in the assumption that it'll also be safe for the duration for the mid-crossing conversation that they're engrossed in. I used to run a fair few field trips and numerous folk as part of a group would give me near-heart attacks by doing this despite me warning them about it. I'd have to treat grown adults like kids for H&S disclaimer purposes, but it seems to make no f***ing difference to some. As an example, I'm talking about respectable professionals in their 40s blindly crossing the A9 despite a lorry flying towards them. Rant triggered by a wifey just now not realising the green man had turned red and just walking out onto the road, resulting in a car coming to a screeching halt and her going into some form of shock. Close one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 20 minutes ago, GordonD said: Football supporters who hold their scarves up for the camera - and the team name is upside-down. This doesn't get on my nerves, it's fucking hilarious 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeAreElgin Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 People actually celebrating the fact they've bought tickets to see Ed Sheeran£170 for 2 tickets to see some beige ginger bloke on a football pitch doesn't sound like much of a victory 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcat1990 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I regrettably had to spend some time in Braehead today.A bigger collection of scum you'll struggle to see, outside of Parkhead and Ibrox of course. I raise you. I made my first ever visit to Possilpark today. Locals there made the Renfrewshire mutants look like royalty. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 20 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said: My old neighbours used to be Chinese, they probably still are. Their kids were called Katie and Ting. I asked about their names and they explained they wanted Western names for them. "Oh right, fair enough." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 (edited) Quote Guy next to me in the pub has been loudly engaging in a conversation (although it's more like a monologue) about his recent purchases, property, cars for x amount of "grand". This has gone on for about 20 minutes and I'm seriously thinking about asking him what did he think I would get if I sold my house. The answer of course is about four years. But it might shut the tedious, obnoxious fucker up for a couple of minutes while he tries to work it out... Edited July 8, 2017 by Angusfifer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 8 hours ago, ThomCat said: Putting up the wee checkout divider for the next person and not getting a "thank you" The concomitant is that anyone not using the divider after they've put their messages* on the conveyor belt should be vapourised. *Aye, I know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: If any chip shop workers are reading this (specifically ones working in the DD3 postcode area), here's a tip for you. Your shop will usually be quite busy between the hours of 5pm and 7pm given its tea time hence its probably a good idea to have enough of the products which you are famed for ready for customers instead of making them wait 25 fucking minutes for it to be cooked you useless twats. And don't be so fucking miserable either. Just waitin oan chips. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 10 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: And don't be so fucking miserable either. I'd be miserable if I had to look at your face. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 The concomitant is that anyone not using the divider after they've put their messages* on the conveyor belt should be vapourised. *Aye, I know. Agreed, annoys me. Also annoys me when folk don't move with their shopping, so they end up next to your shopping. What's wrong with saying 'messages'? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 23 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: If any chip shop workers are reading this (specifically ones working in the DD3 postcode area), here's a tip for you. Your shop will usually be quite busy between the hours of 5pm and 7pm given its tea time hence its probably a good idea to have enough of the products which you are famed for ready for customers instead of making them wait 25 fucking minutes for it to be cooked you useless twats. And don't be so fucking miserable either. Surely better getting fresh stuff than dried out shite? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 9 minutes ago, Rugster said: Surely better getting fresh stuff than dried out shite? He probably wanted something 'exotic' like a pre baked fishcake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 33 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: If any chip shop workers are reading this (specifically ones working in the DD3 postcode area), here's a tip for you. Your shop will usually be quite busy between the hours of 5pm and 7pm given its tea time hence its probably a good idea to have enough of the products which you are famed for ready for customers instead of making them wait 25 fucking minutes for it to be cooked you useless twats. And don't be so fucking miserable either. I think you have some underlying issues that need exploring. Have you kicked your wife in the pie yet? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 12 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said: Agreed, annoys me. Also annoys me when folk don't move with their shopping, so they end up next to your shopping. What's wrong with saying 'messages'? It's a ginger/juice/pop/square/slice/roasted/toasted/chipper/chippy word. Apparently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 It's a ginger/juice/pop/square/slice/roasted/toasted/chipper/chippy word. Apparently. I thought it just meant milk and bread etc? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said: I thought it just meant milk and bread etc? No doubt someone will be along to call those who use 'messages' instead of 'shopping' utter scum. There was mention of it a few years ago: Edited July 8, 2017 by The_Kincardine 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 2 hours ago, The_Kincardine said: The concomitant is that anyone not using the divider after they've put their messages* on the conveyor belt should be vapourised. *Aye, I know. A year ago I put my messages behind a divider which only had a lemon in front of it. Ten minutes later an old codger turned up with a trolley full to the brim with shopping. "Excuse me, that's my stuff there,," pointing at said lemon. I actually let her in, just because it had me in absolute stitches . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 8 minutes ago, whiskychimp said: A year ago I put my messages behind a divider which only had a lemon in front of it. Ten minutes later an old codger turned up with a trolley full to the brim with shopping. "Excuse me, that's my stuff there,," pointing at said lemon. I actually let her in, just because it had me in absolute stitches . Props to the auld dear. You may not know of/appreciate Radio 4's Cabin Pressure but for we cognoscenti the lemon is in play: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 2 minutes ago, The_Kincardine said: You may not know of/appreciate Radio 4's Cabin Pressure but for we cognoscenti the lemon is in play: An absolute joy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 If any chip shop workers are reading this (specifically ones working in the DD3 postcode area), here's a tip for you. Your shop will usually be quite busy between the hours of 5pm and 7pm given its tea time hence its probably a good idea to have enough of the products which you are famed for ready for customers instead of making them wait 25 fucking minutes for it to be cooked you useless twats. And don't be so fucking miserable either. Most of the "chippers" in Ireland batter their stuff at 10am and it's reheated when you ask for it 12 hours later. The people don't mind because it's all they know. It really is poor fare. There is an organisation called ITICA (Irish traditional Italian chippers association) they are all part of which is handy when you see their sticker on the window you know not to bother going in. Northern Ireland do it properly though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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