LondonHMFC Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: When you are browsing on your phone and you go to push a link, just as the page you are on loads the last shitty ad and moves the whole lot just enough that you click the wrong link... Utterly fucking raging. "And that is how I ended up looking at gay porn" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 When you open a new toothpaste, to find it is one that has one of those tiny wee tinfoil seals across the tube opening. Those wee fcukers never pick off easily. Never. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 14 hours ago, Hillonearth said: The fact that every second advert on TV seems to feature a cover of a well-known song done in a supposedly winsome sotto voce fashion by a female singer backed by a slightly hesitant piono...think Tori Amos minus the acrobatic vocal wailing. Just heard a particularly egregious example of some burd pissing all over Wonderwall. It's cheaper to hire a shit piano player and an unknown female singer to record a song than it is to buy the original for a 30 second advert. The sole reason we end up with this constant stream of shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 When you are browsing on your phone and you go to push a link, just as the page you are on loads the last shitty ad and moves the whole lot just enough that you click the wrong link...Utterly fucking raging. ^^^Purchased gimp mask from wish 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 When, after years and years of ‘eye-kia’, furniture stores, or ‘high-oon-dye’, Korean cars, or ‘Voll-vo’ Swedish cars, adverts suddenly start giving it ‘‘ikk-i-a’, Hune-dae’ or ‘vull-voo’. Just fuke-oof. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 “Happy heavenly birthday” shite on social media. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 3 hours ago, IainMorton said: “Happy heavenly birthday” shite on social media. Someone on my Facebook page posted earlier today, wishing their Mum a happy what-would've-been-93rd-birthday-if-she-wasn't-dead. It's received over 50 likes (none from me, obviously) so objective accomplished, I suppose. Switching gears, you'll be excited to learn that Jerri-Lynn is going to give up fizzy drinks (including Coke) for the whole month of December. A magnificent achievement if she can stick it but of course, you knew it wouldn't be that simple, didn't you? We all have to donate money to her charitable cause because, you know...she's giving up fizzy drinks. For a whole month. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Pop-up stands in shopping centres, usually energy suppliers. All you want to do is to nip into Superdrug for a packet of Gillette razors, and you want to do it without trying to be converted to / from Scottish Power, but no, they clock you from a hundred yards. I know they’re just doing their job, but... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 5 minutes ago, pozbaird said: Pop-up stands in shopping centres, usually energy suppliers. All you want to do is to nip into Superdrug for a packet of Gillette razors, and you want to do it without trying to be converted to / from Scottish Power, but no, they clock you from a hundred yards. I know they’re just doing their job, but... Try this manoeuvre. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Pop-up stands in shopping centres, usually energy suppliers. All you want to do is to nip into Superdrug for a packet of Gillette razors, and you want to do it without trying to be converted to / from Scottish Power, but no, they clock you from a hundred yards. I know they’re just doing their job, but... Nah, f**k them. Even more so the c***s that stand in the middle of the street trying to find out who your gas/electricity supplier is. Even after you take the widest berth possible away from them, they still cut into your path and bother you. In my line of work, I’m usually out and about with vulnerable people, and the amount of times they’ve repeatedly cut into our path to ask the same shite they asked us when we walked past/away from them the first time is nonsense. Even if they notice that the client I’m with is getting distressed from the hassle and interruption, they get bent out of shape if I sternly tell them that I’m not interested and that I’m currently working. Wankers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 "I am not the bill payer" is the phrase you need. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Just tell them in a Doric accent that you get your electricity delivered weekly to the farm in a bucket by a man with a lorry and that suits you fine. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 12 hours ago, pozbaird said: When you open a new toothpaste, to find it is one that has one of those tiny wee tinfoil seals across the tube opening. Those wee fcukers never pick off easily. Never. Check the top of the lid- they often have a sharp point to cave in the pesky foil a la tomato purée tubes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Check the top of the lid- they often have a sharp point to cave in the pesky foil a la tomato purée tubes.You’re preventing natural selection ffs 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 48 minutes ago, NJ2 said: You’re preventing natural selection ffs Have a greenie sir. Made I laugh 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 2 hours ago, SweeperDee said: Nah, f**k them. Even more so the c***s that stand in the middle of the street trying to find out who your gas/electricity supplier is. Even after you take the widest berth possible away from them, they still cut into your path and bother you. In my line of work, I’m usually out and about with vulnerable people, and the amount of times they’ve repeatedly cut into our path to ask the same shite they asked us when we walked past/away from them the first time is nonsense. Even if they notice that the client I’m with is getting distressed from the hassle and interruption, they get bent out of shape if I sternly tell them that I’m not interested and that I’m currently working. Wankers. Earlier this year, a particularly egregious clipboard p***k repeatedly hung around outside our shop, no matter how many times he was politely asked to f**k off. They absolutely kill passing trade, as everybody's just desperate to get past them. He finally approached one of the local nutters, who took a couple of minutes out of his day to loudly excoriate the guy's life choices, personally and professionally. You'd better believe we had the popcorn out. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 (edited) 5 hours ago, NJ2 said: You’re preventing natural selection ffs Yes, I thought this was universally known, same as the ring pull on a can of coke,fanta, irn bru that the little hole is where you place your straw. Makes me seeth when I see a loose straw in a can... That man is an idiot, bet his "best friend" is a dog. Edited November 28, 2019 by SlipperyP 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 (edited) This is petty, but does irritate me. As a golfer of fifty years standing, when, and why, did Scots start referring to golf courses as ‘tracks’? Every conversation between other golfers I overhear these days... ‘Played Cawder last week, great track’... WTF? In all my years, that sort of conversation would have been ‘Played Cawder last week, great course’... or ‘great layout’, never, ever, would any golf course be referred to as a ‘track’.... ‘was at the British Grand Prix last week, aye, Silverstone. Great track’. When did all this ‘track’ shite start? Around the same time as Scottish blokes suddenly started giving it ‘mate’ every two seconds in a conversation? Aye mate, sure mate, see you at six mate, aye, same old, same old mate...’ Edited November 28, 2019 by pozbaird 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 5 hours ago, SlipperyP said: Yes, I thought this was universally known, same as the ring pull on a can of coke,fanta, irn bru that the little hole is where you place your straw. Makes me seeth when I see a loose straw in a can... That man is an idiot, bet his "best friend" is a dog. Checked my toothpaste. No ‘seal breaker’ prong on it. Must stop buying cheap shite from Home Bargains. Got a tube of tomato puree with a prong cap though. Will either make lasagne tonight, or start brushing my teeth with tomato puree. Choices, choices. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 2 minutes ago, MixuFixit said: It'll be golf wankers on the internet using track to make golf sound athletic. It’s athletic the way I play it. All that extra walking looking for my tee shots in the rough. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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