Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[scottsdad]

28 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

f**k having a shit at my work.  There's some dirty b*****ds in my office.

Take control, chief. Get in early in the morning. Shite in every bog you can. If need be, snap off the turtle's head at the neck and switch cubicles at half-time (not always easy at first but you'll get the hang of it).

Let them all know who the boss is. 

[scottsdad]

Just now, throbber said:

The toilet seat at my old work was broken in June 2019 and never got fixed but it still often stank of shite so guys were going in there and shitting in a toilet that had no seat, they must have been squatting.

I remember our first holiday abroad. Bulgaria in 1993. I remember going into a toilet that was a hole in the ground with two pads at either side where your feet were meant to go. 

The odd thing, of course, is that it meant stripping naked on the bottom half and squatting , and hoping that your aim is good. 

[scottsdad]

1 minute ago, throbber said:

I once shat in a ferry from Koh Tao - Koh Samui and the toilet was like this:

 

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I can't see the image so am painting a mental picture. 

I shat on a ferry from Hull to Zebrugge once. I'm guessing it was quite lame by comparison.

[German Jag]

2 minutes ago, throbber said:

I once shat in a ferry from Koh Tao - Koh Samui and the toilet was like this:

 

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Your link doesn‘t show up for me.

Worst one I‘ve been in is this one at a petrol station in Shandong in China. 

[Boo Khaki]

Didn't get a pic as it was before the era of smartphones, but I went for a piss in a bar in Tijuana, only to find that the 'urinal' consisted of an upturned half clay pipe laid at a slight decline so the piss ran out through a hole in the wall and into the street. The finishing touch was the wee Mexican guy who looked like a slightly taller Tattoo from Fantasy Island, whose only purpose appeared to be to grin inanely at the patrons, and wipe up spillage with the utterly filthy mop he was clutching. There was no cubicle of any description, so presumably if you were dying for a shite you simply left the premises and went elsewhere, or chucked it in the gutter and hoped it was buoyant enough to make it out the hole. I didn't ask.

[Silvio Tattiescone]

27 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

I remember our first holiday abroad. Bulgaria in 1993. I remember going into a toilet that was a hole in the ground with two pads at either side where your feet were meant to go. 

The odd thing, of course, is that it meant stripping naked on the bottom half and squatting , and hoping that your aim is good. 

Saw that in France in the early 80s. Surprisingly comfy.

 

Last year stopped at one of the rest areas beside a French motorway whilst the wife used the disabled loos. She came out, ashen-faced. 

 

"It was...a...bucket. A bucket. 3/4 full of shite and toilet paper and flies.  A bucket!" 

[ParsJake]

47 minutes ago, throbber said:

I once shat in a ferry from Koh Tao - Koh Samui and the toilet was like this:

 

 

You missed by a mile.

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, scottsdad said:

I remember our first holiday abroad. Bulgaria in 1993. I remember going into a toilet that was a hole in the ground with two pads at either side where your feet were meant to go. 

The odd thing, of course, is that it meant stripping naked on the bottom half and squatting , and hoping that your aim is good. 

That's actually supposed to be better for you than a conventional toilet pan with a seat - something to do with how it straightens out your internal passages.

[Stellaboz]

9 minutes ago, GordonD said:

That's actually supposed to be better for you than a conventional toilet pan with a seat - something to do with how it straightens out your internal passages.

It's definitely better for clearing out your insides. Less messy residue for those morning after ones too.

[101]

2 hours ago, German Jag said:

Your link doesn‘t show up for me.

Worst one I‘ve been in is this one at a petrol station in Shandong in China. 

Pretty odd folk can go with someone at your elbow like that.

[Mark Connolly]

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but Dutch toilets have a shelf which allows you to inspect your shite before flushing it away.

Those poor Dutch lads will never have experienced the joy of a "ghostie"

[welshbairn]

I think Britain and maybe Germany were the only countries in Europe with sit down toilets as standard until the eighties, outwith tourist resorts anyway.

Edited July 20, 2022 by welshbairn

[Stellaboz]

Speaking of toilets, the Italians are way ahead of anyone with their flush system operated by peddle. Such a simple, but genius idea.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

My first proper experience of toilet facilities which  were below par was arriving in India, being transported to the domestic terminal at Delhi and realising I really needed a shite. 
 

Squat bog

Bog roll

[scottsdad]

The green "Removal of Tapatalk" banner. Like the MS paperclip it keeps coming back after I have clicked to get rid of it. . 

[Andy Dufresne]

Been down at our caravan for a week and had to come back up to the house this morning for 8am to pick up tiles and for the tiler to fit them.

He has told me he is now not going to be here till 12.30pm

[hearthammer]

26 minutes ago, throbber said:

William hill shafting me out of a free bet 

Have you been winning with them recently, or was it just that their offer was an "error" when published.

Bookies are like insurance companies, with a default starting point of how they can avoid paying out.

[welshbairn]

16 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

Speaking of toilets, the Italians are way ahead of anyone with their flush system operated by peddle. Such a simple, but genius idea.

The Egyptians have a narrow copper pipe pointing up at your ring piece from below which squirts water, leaving your anus as clean and fresh as a rosebud.

[hearthammer]

1 minute ago, throbber said:

I have had a few wee wins but nothing major - I do the scratch of the day every day and yesterday’s offer was bet £5 on England Spain #your odds and you get a £2 free bet but befor the game kicked off I realised I had a £2 free bet available anyway which I used on a bet which won £8 and I put £5 of those winnings on the England game but didn’t get a free bet. They are trying to say that the £2 free but I used earlier that day was the one I got from the offer but it couldn’t have been as I put it on before betting on the England Spain game.

There's the issue, their small print will contain caveats where they control and call all the shots.  Despite you being correct, they're just a shower of bassas.

Haven't had any problems with Paddy Power, but then again, i rarely win.

[velo army]

On 18/07/2022 at 02:18, Theroadlesstravelled said:

Pronouncing the letter H as haitch. 
Calling latte a latty.

 

But calling a sandwich a “sangwich” is on a par with human trafficking.

How do you pronounce it? 

And I agree with the second one. Sang-meedge is the correct pronunciation.