Boghead ranter Posted May 23, 2023 Share Posted May 23, 2023 4 hours ago, PSJ.84 said: Stuart Kettlewell’s watch. 4 hours ago, GordonD said: Ah, but have you seen Stuart Watchwell's kettle? Neither are as good as Stuart Watchkettle's well. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 23, 2023 Share Posted May 23, 2023 25 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said: Neither are as good as Stuart Watchkettle's well. Watch Stuart's well kettle? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted May 23, 2023 Share Posted May 23, 2023 F**king “intelligent” washers and dryers….this c**t of a machine has been saying “1 minute” to go in the cycle for the last 20 minutes! And now, just after I capture the evidence, it stops and says it’s done…and the blankets are still not properly spun… 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 23, 2023 Share Posted May 23, 2023 19 minutes ago, TxRover said: F**king “intelligent” washers and dryers….this c**t of a machine has been saying “1 minute” to go in the cycle for the last 20 minutes! And now, just after I capture the evidence, it stops and says it’s done…and the blankets are still not properly spun… It's intelligent enough to have picked up the typical plumber's working habits. "Aye, your blanket will be done at 9.30 am, guaranteed" (spits out dirty blanket at 4.45 pm saying it needs to go for parts...) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted May 23, 2023 Share Posted May 23, 2023 There seems to be a dramatic upturn in everybody complaining about their washing machines and tumble dryers this past fortnight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted May 23, 2023 Share Posted May 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Derry Alli said: There seems to be a dramatic upturn in everybody complaining about their washing machines and tumble dryers this past fortnight. Perhaps they are preparing to rise up and overthrow their protoplasmic overlords? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 23, 2023 Share Posted May 23, 2023 Revolting washing machines eh? This calls for a subtle blend of psychology and extreme physical violence And possibly the underwear of the early 1980s Felicity Kendall 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 14 hours ago, TxRover said: F**king “intelligent” washers and dryers….this c**t of a machine has been saying “1 minute” to go in the cycle for the last 20 minutes! And now, just after I capture the evidence, it stops and says it’s done…and the blankets are still not properly spun… Try spinning on Medium or High. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 The university pension provider USS has had a data breach. Hackers have got hold of huge amounts of data including names, NI numbers, titles, dates of birth, etc. But it's all fine. You see, they've given everyone a link to an experian service so that every month we can log in and see how much the hackers have taken in loans and stuff out in our names. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 I switched broadband provider last week and the Retentions department for the old supplier has made 19 - NINETEEN - spam call attempts in the past two days. Luckily my call filter app handled them, but their tactics are fucking moronic. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig fae the Vale Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 My IPTV provider has been down for the past 24 hours and now theyre not answeing any live chat or message requests. Will give them a few days, but looks like I might have to look elsewhere, which is a pest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 I just had Jesus freaks at the door for the first time in a couple of decades. They immediately adopted a "you're about to move aside and let me in to your home" stance and the lead zealot stuck her foot in the door. Gave a well practiced shocked look when I shut the door in her face. I'm irrationally angry about this. It upsets me to think of wee polite old ladies being doorstepped by these creeps and feeling like they have to let them in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennie makevin Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 On 21/05/2023 at 20:52, pozbaird said: Anyone who buys a baseball cap and wears it without taking the sticker off. It’s not a feature you daft kunts, it’s a sizing sticker. Anyone who buys a baseball cap and wears it who isn't American and doesn't play baseball ... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molotov Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 3 hours ago, virginton said: I switched broadband provider last week and the Retentions department for the old supplier has made 19 - NINETEEN - spam call attempts in the past two days. Luckily my call filter app handled them, but their tactics are fucking moronic. What call filter app do you use? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 35 minutes ago, BTFD said: I just had Jesus freaks at the door for the first time in a couple of decades. They immediately adopted a "you're about to move aside and let me in to your home" stance and the lead zealot stuck her foot in the door. Gave a well practiced shocked look when I shut the door in her face. I'm irrationally angry about this. It upsets me to think of wee polite old ladies being doorstepped by these creeps and feeling like they have to let them in. Iv honestly never seen that. I'm a bit surprised that you seem familiar with such a tactic. I'd be absolutely seething. It already annoys me when they chap your door and immediately launch into a breathless spiel as soon as you open it. I don't blame the folk doing it. They are doing axactly as they are told to do. Although if they don't accept a polite cut off and no thanks, then they can get fucked too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IGV Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 57 minutes ago, BTFD said: I just had Jesus freaks at the door for the first time in a couple of decades. They immediately adopted a "you're about to move aside and let me in to your home" stance and the lead zealot stuck her foot in the door. Gave a well practiced shocked look when I shut the door in her face. I'm irrationally angry about this. It upsets me to think of wee polite old ladies being doorstepped by these creeps and feeling like they have to let them in. Made up stories are always the best... -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 9 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Iv honestly never seen that. I'm a bit surprised that you seem familiar with such a tactic. I'd be absolutely seething. It already annoys me when they chap your door and immediately launch into a breathless spiel as soon as you open it. I don't blame the folk doing it. They are doing axactly as they are told to do. Although if they don't accept a polite cut off and no thanks, then they can get fucked too. They seemed like they'd adopted the standard door-to-door salesman tactics, which didn't surprise me. The last time I remember opening the door to religious doorsteppers, it was a couple of nervous Jehovah's Witnesses who immediately asked if I had time to talk about God, and politely buggered off when I said no. I did have a Mormon blow up at me outside a pub once because he approached me with "excuse me, but do you have time to..." and I replied with "no thanks, I'm not interested" before he could finish. I assume it had been a long, hard day of rejection. I actually blame them more than salesmen - the latter are trying to make a living, at least, while nobody's forcing anyone to go recruiting for God. They do it because they like it, in one way or another, and nobody owes them anything. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 9 minutes ago, BTFD said: They seemed like they'd adopted the standard door-to-door salesman tactics, which didn't surprise me. The last time I remember opening the door to religious doorsteppers, it was a couple of nervous Jehovah's Witnesses who immediately asked if I had time to talk about God, and politely buggered off when I said no. I did have a Mormon blow up at me outside a pub once because he approached me with "excuse me, but do you have time to..." and I replied with "no thanks, I'm not interested" before he could finish. I assume it had been a long, hard day of rejection. I actually blame them more than salesmen - the latter are trying to make a living, at least, while nobody's forcing anyone to go recruiting for God. They do it because they like it, in one way or another, and nobody owes them anything. I remember one guy lecturing me that the monthly donation he was asking for was "nothing to you, you can afford it easily". Get yourself squarely to f**k wi that patter. Harassing you on your doorstep is really grim though. I assume folk must generally hate putting on that bubbly persona and launching into a spiel that probably succeeds less than 5% of the time. Still, I'm in my house going about my business. Leave me the f**k alone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 (edited) Toenails. If I don't cut them every four hours it seems I'm basically asking for them to get rub at the top of my shoe and go black. Think it's an age thing although the fact that my 'second biggest toe' is a couple of millimeters longer than my actual big toe (I know. Mutant.) could also be a factor. See also having to dig down the side of the big toenails every week to stop them jagging the skin at the side of it. Edited May 24, 2023 by jimbaxters 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 1 hour ago, BTFD said: I just had Jesus freaks at the door for the first time in a couple of decades. They immediately adopted a "you're about to move aside and let me in to your home" stance and the lead zealot stuck her foot in the door. Gave a well practiced shocked look when I shut the door in her face. I'm irrationally angry about this. It upsets me to think of wee polite old ladies being doorstepped by these creeps and feeling like they have to let them in. I worked with a Muslim chap of South Asian heritage. I once asked him "Do you ever get bothered by these Christian evangelists" and he said he never had been. So they're racists as well. Spoiler 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.