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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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I went to my folks and had a massive gammon steak with a fried egg on top, roast potatoes, onion rings and various veg.

Bloody marvellous. F**k getting takeaways on a Sunday.

f**k eating with you on a Sunday.

I've no one to cook for me so I'm getting a takeaway.

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You weren't invited anyway, cocknbaws. You disapprove of my Sunday dinner?

If it's got to be a takeaway then I suggest Indian. South Indian Garlic Chilli Chicken is highly recommended.

I disapprove of you.
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On the subject of Chinese food; we started using a new takeaway as the one across from us weren't up to much (only went there as it was a 30 second walk from the front door), and we had three takeouts from this place before I told the Mrs we weren't going back, as they burnt my rice every time! Fucking rice! Burnt! Three times! How can you possibly run a takeaway when you can't cook fucking rice?!

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On the subject of Chinese food; we started using a new takeaway as the one across from us weren't up to much (only went there as it was a 30 second walk from the front door), and we had three takeouts from this place before I told the Mrs we weren't going back, as they burnt my rice every time! Fucking rice! Burnt! Three times! How can you possibly run a takeaway when you can't cook fucking rice?!

There's a job waiting for Throbber if he's in need.

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/glossary/pork

How do you pronounce "Pork"?

"Paw-k" :lol:

That's got to have been written by someone who's never been outside of Kent/Essex/London. What a monstrosity.

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My London dwelling sister showed me some of my nieces homework just before the summer and they had to fathom out "two words that sound the same" given the clues below:

1. A liquid to accompany pasta, often made from tomatoes.

2. The origin of a river.

I was fucking seething.

Ragu?
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http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/glossary/pork

How do you pronounce "Pork"?

"Paw-k" :lol:

That's got to have been written by someone who's never been outside of Kent/Essex/London. What a monstrosity.

I used to go out with a girl from Newport (the one opposite Dundee, not the Welsh shithole). Her entire family pronounced Pork "Pohhrk". They also pronounced Oven "Ohh-ven". In both cases the Ohh bit being the same noise as the A at the beginning of "alright".

I have no idea if this was particular to their family or a wider problem (of which there are many) related to North East Fife, but needless to say I was forced to end the relationship and kick her, her sister, and her mother all in the pies.

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My London dwelling sister showed me some of my nieces homework just before the summer and they had to fathom out "two words that sound the same" given the clues below:

1. A liquid to accompany pasta, often made from tomatoes.

2. The origin of a river.

I was fucking seething.

My early morning semi has been interrupted with the appearance of "Draw It" replacing Susie Dent & Rachel Riley's Countdown on Channel 4. Except that "Draw It" is pronounced "Drawer It" by the dimwit who has to shout it twenty times every show.

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I used to go out with a girl from Newport (the one opposite Dundee, not the Welsh shithole). Her entire family pronounced Pork "Pohhrk". They also pronounced Oven "Ohh-ven". In both cases the Ohh bit being the same noise as the A at the beginning of "alright".

I have no idea if this was particular to their family or a wider problem (of which there are many) related to North East Fife, but needless to say I was forced to end the relationship and kick her, her sister, and her mother all in the pies.

Good lad. They'll never learn otherwise.

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No problem with that here, Smudger eats them.

Mostly my lot eat them, leaving little green gall bladders hidden in the carpet for me to squish with my bare feet in the mornings. Or they'll leave a mouse's face by the door - nothing else, just the face. Edgar brings in rabbits, usually mostly dead. How the f**k a cat eats a rabbit skull I have no idea but he manages it. They also bring in birds ( which is more than I do nowadays) which, if they kill them, means feathers and bird shite everywhere. Or if they're still alive means I've got to catch them. Mostly sparrows but we've had a magpie not so long ago.

I found the source of the stench btw - a 10" rat stuck behind a drawer unit looking like Al Jolson with rigor mortis.

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My early morning semi has been interrupted with the appearance of "Draw It" replacing Susie Dent & Rachel Riley's Countdown on Channel 4. Except that "Draw It" is pronounced "Drawer It" by the dimwit who has to shout it twenty times every show.

English lad types who describe good goals as "top draw" strikes are another variation of that annoyance.

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