19QOS19 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Actually - I'm quite surprised you have a girlfriend considering you wear absolute paedo shorts. Paedo shorts! f**k sake 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hampden Diehard Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 My London dwelling sister showed me some of my nieces homework just before the summer and they had to fathom out "two words that sound the same" given the clues below: 1. A liquid to accompany pasta, often made from tomatoes. 2. The origin of a river. I was fucking seething. My early morning semi has been interrupted with the appearance of "Draw It" replacing Susie Dent & Rachel Riley's Countdown on Channel 4. Except that "Draw It" is pronounced "Drawer It" by the dimwit who has to shout it twenty times every show. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I used to go out with a girl from Newport (the one opposite Dundee, not the Welsh shithole). Her entire family pronounced Pork "Pohhrk". They also pronounced Oven "Ohh-ven". In both cases the Ohh bit being the same noise as the A at the beginning of "alright". I have no idea if this was particular to their family or a wider problem (of which there are many) related to North East Fife, but needless to say I was forced to end the relationship and kick her, her sister, and her mother all in the pies. Good lad. They'll never learn otherwise. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 No problem with that here, Smudger eats them. Mostly my lot eat them, leaving little green gall bladders hidden in the carpet for me to squish with my bare feet in the mornings. Or they'll leave a mouse's face by the door - nothing else, just the face. Edgar brings in rabbits, usually mostly dead. How the f**k a cat eats a rabbit skull I have no idea but he manages it. They also bring in birds ( which is more than I do nowadays) which, if they kill them, means feathers and bird shite everywhere. Or if they're still alive means I've got to catch them. Mostly sparrows but we've had a magpie not so long ago. I found the source of the stench btw - a 10" rat stuck behind a drawer unit looking like Al Jolson with rigor mortis. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'm going on holiday tommorow, got to drive to Glasgow airport. And I've just went over on my ankle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'm going on holiday tommorow, got to drive to Glasgow airport. And I've just went over on my ankle. That's what you get for misspelling tomorrow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen Malkmus Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 My early morning semi has been interrupted with the appearance of "Draw It" replacing Susie Dent & Rachel Riley's Countdown on Channel 4. Except that "Draw It" is pronounced "Drawer It" by the dimwit who has to shout it twenty times every show. English lad types who describe good goals as "top draw" strikes are another variation of that annoyance. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 That's what you get for misspelling tomorrow. It's probably a lie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Oh shut up and stop trying to troll. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob the tank Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Eggheads and Only Connect, surely the most boring quizzes ever devised. Even Victoria Coren isn't as hot anymore. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 People walking around with electronic cigarettes are really fucking me off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaSeDG0DSA1NT Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 People walking around with electronic cigarettes are really fucking me off. This^^^^ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 People walking around with electronic cigarettes are really fucking me off. Secretly they all want to be Harry Potter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 There tends to be a smugness with these p***ks, almost as if they now think they're better than smokers as they're trying to quit*. I think there should be something invented for folk such as myself who've never smoked, so we can walk by these dicks and get the one up on them * Even though all they're doing is getting addicted to something "less toxic". Still addicted nonetheless. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 People walking around with electronic cigarettes are really fucking me off.The ones standing in bus queues happily puffing away and blowing their smoke around without a care in the world annoy me more. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Knees are in agony today 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Knees are in agony today Have you been blowing the hairy harmonica again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Just heard that the Foundry bar in Aberdeen apparently has a Christmas tree up. Checked on Twitter and somebody posted that a tree was up 2 weeks ago. AUGUST?! Christ. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Just heard that the Foundry bar in Aberdeen apparently has a Christmas tree up. Checked on Twitter and somebody posted that a tree was up 2 weeks ago. AUGUST?! Christ. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mik Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 The ones standing in bus queues happily puffing away and blowing their smoke vapour around without a care in the world annoy me more. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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