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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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44 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said:

Current advert for Guide dogs sponsorship, a worthy cause. If you sponsor a puppy in guide dog training they send you 'regular pupdates'

They'll also send you a little brochure of items you can buy to raise funds - they call it a Dogalogue.

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The new c**t at work that sits behind me and slavers pish most the day, every day...a heads gone is imminent if he doesn’t shut up
^^^ seething, etc. (I am!)


Genuinely, just tell him to shut the f**k up.
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Genuinely, just tell him to shut the f**k up.

Aye, nae bother....I’ll turn round and tell a boy I’ve never spoken to and who’s only been here a couple of weeks or so to shut the f**k up? As much as I may want to I’m not a mentalist.
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Aye, nae bother....I’ll turn round and tell a boy I’ve never spoken to and who’s only been here a couple of weeks or so to shut the f**k up? As much as I may want to I’m not a mentalist.


Have a playful dig at him like saying “you love the sound of your own voice don’t you?!” And maybe he’ll go home and realise he’s being a bit too much for your liking.
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9 minutes ago, NJ2 said:


Aye, nae bother....I’ll turn round and tell a boy I’ve never spoken to and who’s only been here a couple of weeks or so to shut the f**k up? As much as I may want to I’m not a mentalist.

Pish on his desk.

Mark your territory.

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Have a playful dig at him like saying “you love the sound of your own voice don’t you?!” And maybe he’ll go home and realise he’s being a bit too much for your liking.

Subtle as an earthquake throbber. Keep in mind I’m yet to say a single meaningful word to this boy (not out of rudeness, we don’t work together). I’d say hello on passing but that’s as far as it’s gone.
Pish on his desk.
Mark your territory.

First actual solution. I could stay late one night and pish his desk.
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Genuinely, just tell him to shut the f**k up.


Have a playful dig at him like saying “you love the sound of your own voice don’t you?!” And maybe he’ll go home and realise he’s being a bit too much for your liking.
Pish on his desk.
Mark your territory.
Do all three of these things, and also buy him a sandwich and coffee and invite him to your house. He will think you are a fucking psycho and ask to move. Win win I would say.
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8 minutes ago, NJ2 said:


Subtle as an earthquake throbber. Keep in mind I’m yet to say a single meaningful word to this boy (not out of rudeness, we don’t work together). I’d say hello on passing but that’s as far as it’s gone.

First actual solution. I could stay late one night and pish his desk.

I would come in early and do it to make sure its still fresh.

Also make sure you have some asparagus for breakfast.

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2 hours ago, NJ2 said:

The new c**t at work that sits behind me and slavers pish most the day, every day...a heads gone is imminent if he doesn’t shut up
^^^ seething, etc. (I am!)

Hand him a note telling him that unless he shuts up you’re going to get him after work and punch his lights out.

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21 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Hand him a note telling him that unless he shuts up you’re going to get him after work and punch his lights out.

Be sure to use the words "STRONGLY ADVISE" in capital letters.

Preferably written in his wife/husband/pet's blood.

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34 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Hand him a note telling him that unless he shuts up you’re going to get him after work and punch his lights out.

That's a good one but NJ2 doesn't seem too keen on being identified so I'd go for an anonymous note letting him know that everyone in work calls him Thrush behind his back because he's an irritating c**t. Maybe create the note with cut-out newspaper headlines for added effect. 

Failing that, I'd go with Adam's suggestion. 

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