Herman Hessian Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 (edited) call the cunting midwife - utter, utter shite some very well spoken people - and a token pikey - have some mildly upsetting things happen to them, every fucking one of which they react to with a stiff upper lip, stoicism and unlimited amounts of *sniff* bravery some babies are born, some die - so fucking what - shit happens, and sometimes, shit doesn't happen - all to a background of twee music and gurgling children they should do a mash-up with '28 days later' with the whole fucking lot of 'em having the top of their heads bitten off and eyeballs popped out by raging baboons, who then fling shite at each other ETA - now there's a fucking donkey Edited December 25, 2018 by Herman Hessian 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 10 minutes ago, Herman Hessian said: call the cunting midwife - utter, utter shite some very well spoken people - and a token pikey - have some mildly upsetting things happen to them, every fucking one of which they react to with a stiff upper lip, stoicism and unlimited amounts of *sniff* bravery some babies are born, some die - so fucking what - shit happens, and sometimes, shit doesn't happen - all to a background of twee music and gurgling children they should do a mash-up with '28 days later' with the whole fucking lot of 'em having the top of their heads bitten off and eyeballs popped out by raging baboons, who then fling shite at each other ETA - now there's a fucking donkey There was one where a girl on Dutch ship gets pregnant, turns out she's the Captain's daughter and he's been pimping her out to the crew. Nobody bats an eyelid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Boots to pies required 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 8 minutes ago, Tynierose said: Right the inlaws and gimpy brother in law plus my mother have been here since circa 10am. The c***s have drunk and eaten copiously, annoyed f**k out of me and are showing no sign of going. My mother about an hour ago proudly announced she was away by this time last year, aye ah fuckin noticed. All I wanted was a nice xmas with mrs and kids, instead I get the fucking Adams family. Next year I'm going abroad c***s. On Xmas day, every visitor should know when it’s time to f**k off home, I left where I mooched a dinner at 7pm, which was a reasonable time imo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 i've spent the entire day in the company of "adults" who have insisted on watching films/programmes made for children , squabbling over access to various games consoles and getting genuinely excited about going to see a spiderman film tomorrow - rather than showing any interest whatsoever in the alternative entertainment which is bognor regis town v lewes one of them also mentioned "maccy-d's" in a non-ironic manner on reflection, call the cunting midwife may have been the high point... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 I was at the girlfriends families this year, never again. Unruly brats who spent the meal refusing to eat and screaming, an hours drive up the road so no alcohol either. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 1 hour ago, welshbairn said: There was one where a girl on Dutch ship gets pregnant, turns out she's the Captain's daughter and he's been pimping her out to the crew. Nobody bats an eyelid. Was the ship called Venus? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 When you see that BuzzGTI is the latest poster on the Tidy Scottish Newsreaders thread 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Was the ship called Venus?That was a good ship. Mast was a bit uncalled for however. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 There was a nippy wee c**t yesterday. He was shouting and running around. He spilled multiple drinks over. He took pretzels out of the bowl then put them back in the bowl (which of course meant they were fucked and the whole bowl was a write off). He trod crisps in to the carpet. He was roaring for attention so many times. He got his awful little sticky hands on stuff and ruined them. He had food smeared across his disgusting little face for ages. I was absolutely delighted when he fucked off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 10 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: There was a nippy wee c**t yesterday. He was shouting and running around. He spilled multiple drinks over. He took pretzels out of the bowl then put them back in the bowl (which of course meant they were fucked and the whole bowl was a write off). He trod crisps in to the carpet. He was roaring for attention so many times. He got his awful little sticky hands on stuff and ruined them. He had food smeared across his disgusting little face for ages. I was absolutely delighted when he fucked off. Funny, I always imagined Barry Ferguson would have Christmas dinner at home. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Sports reporter on BBC news just said "nil all" -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Swarley said: When you see that BuzzGTI is the latest poster on the Tidy Scottish Newsreaders thread ^^^Philistine. I'm a big fan of his work. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 2 hours ago, G_Man1985 said: 2 hours ago, Swarley said: When you see that BuzzGTI is the latest poster on the Tidy Scottish Newsreaders thread I take it he is that guy who got banned before , for posting pictures? Don't think so, he just posted page after page of bouncy tits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Following in from cheese situation yesterday things have gotten worse. I’ve a chest infection and I’m missing a visit to family friends who always have great cheese selection. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 3 hours ago, Rowan said: Following in from cheese situation yesterday things have gotten worse. I’ve a chest infection and I’m missing a visit to family friends who always have great cheese selection. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 6 minutes ago, tamthebam said: Apparently there was a great selection! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 22 hours ago, G_Man1985 said: 23 hours ago, Swarley said: When you see that BuzzGTI is the latest poster on the Tidy Scottish Newsreaders thread I take it he is that guy who got banned before , for posting pictures? 20 hours ago, welshbairn said: Don't think so, he just posted page after page of bouncy tits. That was @booitsme7, was it not? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 Not being able to buy alcohol in supermarkets before 10.00 a.m. is a minor inconvenience most of the year; during the festive period it’s an absolute pain in the arse. We like to get to the supermarkets early for the food shopping, less hassle and less crowded car parks. The law should be relaxed over the Christmas and New Year period. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 18 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: Not being able to buy alcohol in supermarkets before 10.00 a.m. is a minor inconvenience most of the year; during the festive period it’s an absolute pain in the arse. We like to get to the supermarkets early for the food shopping, less hassle and less crowded car parks. The law should be relaxed over the Christmas and New Year period. Please god let it be 10am soon 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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