Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[Dundee Hibernian]

I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant.

Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent.

Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved.

The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. 

The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan.

[Sergeant Wilson]

^^^For fucksake you!

[Granny Danger]

20 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

The fact that there are multiple versions of this card that can only refer to one person.

Either the card company is happy with some poor woman being blatantly lied to, or they're happy enough to profiteer from the best mum getting the same card twice.

I feel the company is obligated here to decide how many of these cards they will produce and change the wording accordingly.  However that brings another problem in that if the wording is changed to “You’re a Mum in approximately six thousand eight hundred” then the number they actually sell may be affected.

This requires more thought…

[jimbaxters]

38 minutes ago, Dundee Hibernian said:

I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant.

Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent.

Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved.

The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. 

The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan.

Why are you posting pictures with jobby on it

Spoiler

I'm 52 btw

 

[MEADOWXI]

40 minutes ago, Dundee Hibernian said:

I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant.

Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent.

Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved.

The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. 

The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan.

I got my first letter last year, I just assumed as I was posting it back to Dundee that it was written by someone in Dundee and that covered their vocabulary skills.

[Bob in Denny]

4 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Last night.

Wife: why don't you have a beer? You've had a long day.

Me: No, I'm driving in the morning.

Wife: That's OK. I can drive us in. Just have a beer.

Me: OK. 

 

This morning.

What part of this forsaken area can you get speeds up like that?

(apart from the motorway)

[Miguel Sanchez]

 

[coprolite]

1 hour ago, Dundee Hibernian said:

I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant.

Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent.

Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved.

The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. 

The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan.

If any inventors are reading, this task needs a 2" hoop on a stick with a pre attached johnny (lubed, but no spermicide needed) rolled around the hoop. We can then simply shit through the hoop, tie off the end and stick a second class stamp on. 

I don't want any royalties for this but there's only a few years to go before i need the jobbyjohnny tm, so get on with it please 

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, coprolite said:

If any inventors are reading, this task needs a 2" hoop on a stick with a pre attached johnny (lubed, but no spermicide needed) rolled around the hoop. We can then simply shit through the hoop, tie off the end and stick a second class stamp on. 

Ideally with a preprinted label addressed to 10 Downing Street.

[Leith Green]

Websites where - as soon as you open it to look for some random item - a sales adviser pops up in a chat box "hi, can I help you?".

No, if I was a moron looking for help I wouldnt be searching for something very specific on your site.

<closes window>

Aye, I am looking at you Guitar Guitar (among others).............................

[mathematics]

I believe I am developing an intolerance for the sound of rustling, particularly the rustle of my son’s bib and bedsheets. Probably due to (a) if his bib is rustling then he’s flailing about and not eating, and (b) Mrs Mathematics can’t sleep and so I’ll not be getting any sleep.

[mathematics]

1 minute ago, mathematics said:

I believe I am developing an intolerance for the sound of rustling, particularly the rustle of my son’s bib and bedsheets. Probably due to (a) if his bib is rustling then he’s flailing about and not eating, and (b) Mrs Mathematics can’t sleep and so I’ll not be getting any sleep.

Add to this the creak of the chair I sit in when feeding him.

[MEADOWXI]

4 minutes ago, mathematics said:

Add to this the creak of the chair I sit in when feeding him.

Have you considered turning your hearing aids down?

[Boghead ranter]

5 hours ago, scottsdad said:

3 weeks till she's away again. 

Yeah, we all know, thanks.

[scottsdad]

Contacting companies for quotes for equipment. In some cases expensive equipment. You'd think they'd be falling over themselves to send out quotes, but some companies have been at least a week with just a holding email reply. 

This isn't encouraging me to use them if I get the money I'm hoping for.

[Florentine_Pogen]

6 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Contacting companies for quotes for equipment. In some cases expensive equipment. You'd think they'd be falling over themselves to send out quotes, but some companies have been at least a week with just a holding email reply. 

This isn't encouraging me to use them if I get the money I'm hoping for.

Why can't you just get hold of their regional rep. and ask them why HQ's customer service is so pathetic ?

[scottsdad]

1 minute ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Why can't you just get hold of their regional rep. and ask them why HQ's customer service is so pathetic ?

Can't be arsed. I'll just spunk hundreds of thousands of pounds of taxpayer's money on some other company that can reply swiftly. 

[Florentine_Pogen]

13 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Can't be arsed. I'll just spunk hundreds of thousands of pounds of taxpayer's money on some other company that can reply swiftly. 

But surely to feck the 1st thing that happens after one contacts HQ with a purchase query (especially the kind of figures you are talking about) is that the local rep is on your doorstep ?

Maybe you should let the Prof handle this one as you're obviously distracted by the wife's potential holiday shenanigans. 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Florentine_Pogen

[The Moonster]

WDC have stopped cutting large areas of grass in Dumbarton and have just recently put up signs saying these areas are now being managed for biodiversity, telling us that long grass is good for bees and insects to live. They might not be wrong there, and there might not actually be a big issue with some of those areas being left with long grass, but the fact they are covering up budget cuts with this shite has annoyed me. 

[Dee Man]

3 hours ago, jimbaxters said:

Why are you posting pictures with jobby on it

  Hide contents

I'm 52 btw

 

Be thankful you haven’t seen the video doing the rounds of a naked lady perched on her worktop above a frying pan. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.