Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[Florentine_Pogen]

Just now, Dee Man said:

Be thankful you haven’t seen the video doing the rounds of a naked lady perched on her worktop above a frying pan. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. 

Tossing pancakes with her feet ?

[Dan Steele]

Out walking on the approach to Loughrigg and saw this perched on a wall

Seems the nearest Starbucks is in Penrith, 20 miles away

[Dee Man]

3 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Tossing pancakes with her feet ?

Potentially in part 2 of that video which I thankfully haven’t seen, nor will I press play when I recognise said lady and her kitchen in the thumbnail. 

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, mathematics said:

Mrs Mathematics can’t sleep and so I’ll not be getting any sleep.

 

[Billy Jean King]

5 hours ago, coprolite said:

If any inventors are reading, this task needs a 2" hoop on a stick with a pre attached johnny (lubed, but no spermicide needed) rolled around the hoop. We can then simply shit through the hoop, tie off the end and stick a second class stamp on. 

I don't want any royalties for this but there's only a few years to go before i need the jobbyjohnny tm, so get on with it please 

When is this episode of Dragons Den airing ?

[Swarley]

9 hours ago, Dan Steele said:

Out walking on the approach to Loughrigg and saw this perched on a wall

Seems the nearest Starbucks is in Penrith, 20 miles away

My God, they are breeding in the wild.

[Loonytoons]

17 hours ago, Dan Steele said:

Out walking on the approach to Loughrigg and saw this perched on a wall

Seems the nearest Starbucks is in Penrith, 20 miles away

 

8 hours ago, Swarley said:

My God, they are breeding in the wild.

We know that electric fence will never hold it back.

[Dan Steele]

15 minutes ago, Loonytoons said:

 

We know that electric fence will never hold it back.

Bloody mermaids coming over here and taking over our walks.

[Salt n Vinegar]

21 minutes ago, Loonytoons said:

 

We know that electric fence will never hold it back.

" We'd better get back 'cause it'll be dark soon and they mostly come at night. Mostly."

Too many folk wandering around in the dark without being wise enough to carry a bin bag, IMO.

[welshbairn]

Birthday caird pish..

 

[TxRover]

1 hour ago, welshbairn said:

Birthday caird pish..

 

 

[RuMoore]

I've had to get a bus today and there's a woman on who's watching videos and playing mobile games with full volume on. 

An actual regular grown up human being.

I'd expect it from teenagers but is this another example of phones melting the brains of the older gen more so than the youngsters? 

[MEADOWXI]

The usual of walking down Union St in Aberdeen of people so engrossed in their phone you have to dodge them.

This morning had variety at 07.45 as someone was walking towards me reading a book, She was young and seemed very serious and it was a large hardback  book, could be a student on last minute cramming for exam, someone has found a guide to life they must finish before getting to work, but as they got closer I could make out the jacket of the book, a face with the persons name at the top.

I had to dodge out the way of someone reading the Matthew Perry autobiography as if their life depended on it and they were reading life changing stuff, hope she intently walked into traffic and had her life changed.

[Miguel Sanchez]

24 minutes ago, RuMoore said:

I've had to get a bus today and there's a woman on who's watching videos and playing mobile games with full volume on. 

An actual regular grown up human being.

I'd expect it from teenagers but is this another example of phones melting the brains of the older gen more so than the youngsters? 

A tweet I saw once wondered how we managed to have only one generation who can use the internet properly. Sounds about right.

[scottsdad]

28 minutes ago, RuMoore said:

I've had to get a bus today and there's a woman on who's watching videos and playing mobile games with full volume on. 

An actual regular grown up human being.

I'd expect it from teenagers but is this another example of phones melting the brains of the older gen more so than the youngsters? 

Yesterday, during my white knuckle ride into work as a passenger, we overtook a van. The driver was sitting with a vape in one hand, and two screens in front of him. One was a sat nav, the other was his mobile phone. He was on a Zoom call.  All whilst driving at 70ish on the motorway. 

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

39 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said:

The usual of walking down Union St in Aberdeen of people so engrossed in their phone you have to dodge them.

This morning had variety at 07.45 as someone was walking towards me reading a book, She was young and seemed very serious and it was a large hardback  book, could be a student on last minute cramming for exam, someone has found a guide to life they must finish before getting to work, but as they got closer I could make out the jacket of the book, a face with the persons name at the top.

I had to dodge out the way of someone reading the Matthew Perry autobiography as if their life depended on it and they were reading life changing stuff, hope she intently walked into traffic and had her life changed.

Hilarity ensues when you bend down and pretend to tie your shoelace.

[BFTD]

On 26/09/2023 at 12:10, Dundee Hibernian said:

I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant.

Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent.

Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved.

The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. 

The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan.

What happens at 75 that the government loses interest in your bumloaf?

(trying to think of worse word than "poo")

On 26/09/2023 at 15:16, Leith Green said:

Websites where - as soon as you open it to look for some random item - a sales adviser pops up in a chat box "hi, can I help you?".

No, if I was a moron looking for help I wouldnt be searching for something very specific on your site.

<closes window>

Aye, I am looking at you Guitar Guitar (among others).............................

Either that or you move the mouse pointer away from the page and immediately get desperate pop-ups.

WAIT, DON'T LEAVE! WE'LL GIVE YOU 5% OFF IF YOU BUY SOMETHING WITHIN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES! PLEASE, I GOT FIVE KIDS TO FEED!

I haven't even had the chance to see what you sell yet, FFS.

[buchan30]

4 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Birthday caird pish..

 

Wait until he is older, he’s an ultra and they are doing pish. They will be quick in changing their bus route. 

[tamthebam]

1 hour ago, scottsdad said:

Yesterday, during my white knuckle ride into work as a passenger, we overtook a van. The driver was sitting with a vape in one hand, and two screens in front of him. One was a sat nav, the other was his mobile phone. He was on a Zoom call.  All whilst driving at 70ish on the motorway. 

should have grassed him to the rozzers. A conviction of Section 2 of the Road Traffic Act (Dangerous driving, which this certainly sounds like) carries a mandatory ban and you have to re-sit and pass the Extended Test of driving before you get back on the road. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

3 hours ago, RuMoore said:

I've had to get a bus today   

On the bright side, the only way is up now.