Richey Edwards

dis evil b*****ds shud be tied 2 a railway lyn. an i 4 an i.

I hate when people use phrases like "all corners of the globe". Since when did the globe have corners?

Whose number is it? Babestation? I bet they can't even name one of his songs.

Gretna were a horrible little club and I danced on their grave when they died. That said, I started off watching the 2006 Scottish Cup Final wanting Gretna to get pumped, but by the time extra time came around I was wanting Gretna to win because it would have been hilarious.

Charles Manson made over 200 appearances for Hearts, scoring 435 goals.

Mental health has been much improved the past couple of days. The counselling session was interesting. The main subject of discussion was that people who think a lot (like I do) tend to be disconnected from what their body tells them, which is how physical "warning signs" get ignored. Things like knots in the stomach, tightness in the chest, nausea etc do not get dealt with because I tend to either attribute them to other things or think that I will wait for them to pass rather than dealing with them. Your body and instincts remember how you react to stressful events even if your mind tries to cover them up.

Yassss, pleasing.

Why would anyone want to cull such beautiful birds? What harm are they doing?

That year were this was played ALL the time on the radio was the worst year ever. There was no warning either, that fucking awful opening line would just come out of the radio. I would rather take my bell end off with a bottle opener than ever hear it ever again.

My mum has just reminded me that Sonya got taken to the vet because she kept making a wheezing noise and it sounded like she had something seriously wrong with her. It turned out that there was nothing wrong with her and she was imitating a friend of my great aunt who had asthma.

No, but Sully skittered on me not long after that photo was taken.

I noticed that F'lar looks quite chuffed with his beak there. I imagine the beak clipping didn't go down too well? He looks full of character. I forgot to add in my original post that my great aunt and great uncle had an African Grey parrot called Sonya for about 50 years. The things Sonya used to say were amazing. She randomly made the noise of the phone or doorbell and came out with stuff like "Is that the doorbell ringing?", "Who's at the door?", "bunch of b*****ds" and her favourite phrase which she said whenever anyone was present was "f**k ye!" Sonya never seemed to like me much but I loved her to bits, she was hilarious. I was gutted when she died on Christmas Day 2009. People are going to be quite disappointed when they click on this thread expecting to see birds and instead see my ugly mug in it.

I am sorry for your loss. We had a budgie called Snowy for 16 years. He was a great talker but stopped talking about a year before he died. People say that pets are "only pets" but that is not true. They are great friends and companions and become part of your family. Anyone who considers pets as things that are disposable and can be easily replaced are Ones For The Watching. All pets I have ever had were unique and had their own personalities and quirks. Snowy used to sing the BBC Radio 2 jingles and he was afraid of everything we put in his cage apart from his swing and mirrors. He was a lovely and sociable wee guy and I was distraught when he died. My current budgie Sully (my nephew named him) is just a youngster and is trying to get the hang of landing. He can fly but doesn't know how to land, and regulary crashlands. He has made a couple of successful landings so hopefully he gets confidence from that. Birds are amazing pets.

Yeah, I need to be more proactive definitely. It's annoying because I should know better by now. It's definitely something I should look into putting an end to earlier. I have counselling tomorrow so it is probably something I will discuss. Things like reading and listening to music help to divert my thoughts but it's not always possible to pull a book out or put music on. I have quite a few people I can talk to both in person and online so that's a handy support network to have. I rarely feel properly alone.

They sort of creep up on me, but there are early signs like feelings of intense anxiety and dread. I have intrusive thoughts about what happened but those don't occur as much as they used to. I think telling people about it has alleviated alot of that because there is no shame or self loathing on my part anymore because what happened was not my fault. By speaking out I have broken free from the power that my abuser held over me. I had given up on the aspirations and dreams that I had when I was young because I hated myself and did not feel that I deserved any of them. But that is bullshit, of course I deserve the chance to realise the dreams and aspirations that I had as a young boy but thought had been stolen from me. Only I can give myself that chance.

I know that my problems are trivial compared to what a lot of people go through, but f**k it I feel shit so I'm going to vent and hopefully feel better by the end of it. I have been signed off work since the end of July due to significant deterioration in my mental health. I do not currently feel able to return to work, but I do plan on returning when I am better and my manager has been very supportive so the work situation is not an issue. In the past I have been signed off for periods of poor mental health and have returned to work when the "depression" improved. However, I had never acknowledged or dealt with the actual cause. Something traumatic happened to me in my early teens and for years I went through cycles of denial and self-blame, and I never told anyone about it because I did not want people to judge me or think that I was lying. I disclosed this to my GP and my manager and it was arranged for me to attend counselling, which I am finding helpful. I feel that a weight has been lifted after disclosing what happened to me and I don't feel the shame and self-loathing anymore. As pathetic and ridiculous as it sounds, I often feel as if I have wasted my life and blown all the good opportunities that have come my way. I have no savings, no degree, I live with my parents, all of my relationships have ended because my mental health has usually deteriorated during all of them. I had a reasonably well-paid job back in 2012 but had some sort of mental breakdown and ended up packing it in. I have often been told that I am intelligent and have/had massive potential, but I have never done anything particularly spectacular. In my early 20's I was ambitious and had big ideas but through disappointments and mental ill-health these were all squeezed out of me. But I am 27 years old. I am still relatively young and can still go to university, take a different career path, have a house, learn to drive, travel and do all the things I wanted to do in my early 20's. Because why shouldn't I? Why wouldn't I be able to do these things? The only thing stopping me is myself. I used to smoke 20 a day and was pretty much obese but have stopped smoking and lost a lot of weight, which was something I wanted to do for a number of years. If I apply the same dedication to other areas of my life then I can have a good life. Yeah, I feel better now. Sorry about the monologue, but if you can't have a mental health monologue in a depression thread then where can you have one?

No it's Francs. Cos of Frankfurt.

Saw them supporting Manic Street Preachers once and they were almost as good as the Manics were.

I call bullshit. Germany does not use pounds.

Aye Denmark is a wonderful nation.

Alex Rae and Kris Boyd are thunderous cretins.

My house.

It is closing time.

Cocaine and super lager. You should know this Bladesy.

I have been awake for 30-odd hours and have a sense of impending doom.