scottsdad

On a more philosophical note, name one job in politics that Yogi couldn't do better than the current incumbent.

Just head to the local strip club. Stuff them down a few thongs.

OK, my last throw of the dice to take on the Beatles. Elvis. Various stats can back this up but in terms of recognition, surely he is up there. In terms of the actual songs, I'd take his best 10 over the Beatles best 10 any day. In fact, what is the Beatles best song? We're forgetting that they produced sub-par mince for 10 solid years. Moving away from stats, this guy was the King of Rock and Roll and in 2018, Donald Trump awarded him the Presidential medal of Freedom, which I'm sure meant a lot to him.

That's her chances just taken a big dent

Available sizes: XS or XXXXL

What a read, jeez! On his former stepsons:

Seeing Jaws in the cinema, in 3D, was amazing. Shame I missed Alien.

Always fun to look in on their policies and manifesto https://scottishfamily.org/manifesto Plus they have videos explaining why middle aged angry men are the true oppressed minority

Yes.

I can honestly say I have never heard of him.

I was speeding and got pulled over by a policeman. I rolled down the window and said, "Officer, I have to be honest. I have a dead body in the boot, as well as a hammer covered in blood, rope and duct tape." Within minutes loads of police arrived and surrounded me and the car. They popped the boot, and it was empty. The policeman's superior officer came to me and said "My officer said you had a dead body, hammer, rope and duct tape in your boot." "I bet he said I was speeding, too," I replied.

My wife owns t-shirts and jumpers from Fleetwood Mac, Pink Floyd, AC/DC, Nirvana and Guns 'n' Roses. She doesn't listen to any of them, never has.

I was following a hearse on the motorway. It was going kind of slow in the middle lane. I thought, I can't overtake it as that would be disrespectful. So I decided to undertake.

When I had a Vauxhall Cavalier in the late 90s, I kept getting electric shocks. Every time I stepped out of the car and touched the door - boom. I learned how to exit the car without causing the shocks. But honestly, whenever I forgot it was a real pain (literally). I remember once holding my car key near the lock and seeing a spark. My new Vauxhall Crossland - purchased to universal acclaim here on P&B - is the same. Saturday, parked the car, stepped out, put my hand on the door.. "Ooohafucker!" Now I'm back to my old habit of opening the door, gripping the door frame then stepping out.

I had David Cameron calling the Brexit referendum as the stupidest career suicide act, until now.

6 Monday

Christopher Fairbank (Moxy from Auf Wiedersehen Pet) was in the 1989 Batman

Is that the one that sounds like all their other ones?

A dead body was found floating in the river. The police recovered it, and found a wallet with the body. They found out that the wallet belonged to Mr. Smith. But they still weren't sure if the dead body was of Mr. Smith or not. So they did some investigation and found out about the twin brothers Mark and Harry, who were very close friends of Mr. Smith. They are summoned. At first the police shows them the wallet, then a wrist watch and asks them if they belonged to Smith. They said yes. The police further asked them if there was any other detail by which they could 100% verify if the corpse was of Smith or not. The twins presented a weird request. They wanted to see the ass of the corpse. The police were surprised, but agreed. After having a close look at the ass, they screamed "This is definitely not Smith! Smith had two assholes not one!" The police inspector asked them, "How is that possible? Did you actually see his ass when he was alive?" The twins replied in union, "We never actually saw his ass, but everytime we both and Smith went out together, someone or the other would always say: Here comes Mr. Smith with two assholes."

The first African American woman in space, Dr Mae Jemison, was in Star Trek The Next Generation

Your other account is the one that red dotted me, numpty. Try to keep them straight in your head.

Red dotted by the resident thread bawbag..never mind. It is an amazing achievement, despite @Rennieball / @Higgenarse

I've won the annual 'best bullshitting' award twice this year.