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48 minutes ago, ayrshire_nomad said:

My Mrs wants her tits done for her birthday, anyone got £4k they don't want I could have

Tell her to rub toilet paper all over them. If she queries how that'll make them bigger, tell her it worked on her arse...

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2 minutes ago, Zen Archer said:

Tell her to wipe her tits with toilet tissue, see what that trick has done to her arse.

It's been done, Zen.

The joke, not the act. Although...?

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22 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

Do the rules of P&B mean nothing nowadays?

All rules are out the window, Mark. In the last few days my lofty status as a middle-aged alcoholic VL loner has been downgraded to a measly middle-aged alcoholic. According to the rules I shouldn't even be posting here anymore.

 

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13 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

All rules are out the window, Mark. In the last few days my lofty status as a middle-aged alcoholic VL loner has been downgraded to a measly middle-aged alcoholic. According to the rules I shouldn't even be posting here anymore.

 

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10 hours ago, throbber said:

Had a 3 course lunch at Tom Kitchins yesterday - food was absolutely incredible and I ate every mouth full. I went on to wake up at 2 am feeling sick and as I was sat upon the pan with explosive diarrhoea I spewed a good 3 stomach loads into the bath, not sure what exactly it was that upset my stomach but I’m going to guess it was the snails!

I would have thought the snails would have left you slowly... 

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3 minutes ago, Deanburn Dave said:

Did you know "Bimonthly" means every 2 months AND it also means twice in a month.

I definitely should have paid more attention at school.

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