Depression

[RH33]

I went back for a therapy session. Which resulted in lots frogs out boxes. Then had self harm and meltdown but I've basically worked two jobs and ended up of no use to anyone on Monday.

Not ideal and not sure I'm going go back for more, I've worked same person for a long time so it saves the background.

I'm exhausted and want a week on a poolside with private eye and a fit man to service my needs.

 

[Thistle_do_nicely]

couple of things i want to say, just as general points, hoping someone can find these handy:

i) dont be afraid to bite the bullet and go to the doctors for medication. ended up getting prescribed sertraline and, while not a wonderdrug, its definitely making a difference

ii) this is harder, on account of the drinking culture & tbh there's every chance other people can handle it more responsibly but i went teetotal from the beginning of last september (long story but i went out to watch the old firm and my dad had to give me a lift into work the next day) and that alone has made a crazy, crazy difference to my mood/energy levels.

took an nhs questionnaire thing that said i was at high risk of alcohol dependency, not at the point of sneaking a hip flask into work or risking my driving licence or that, was more a change in my drinking habits that every time id start it became automatic to blitz it, physically couldnt stop at one/two/three anymore.

think theres some thing i read that alcohol affects how your liver processes fat too on top of the empty calories, i found an old pair of jeans i havent worn since i was about 18 that i can fit into again, well chuffed, so it'll help you physically too.

genuinely dont think ill drink ever again, explained it to my regular drinking buddy and he's understanding so if you're worried about missing out on social events dont fret it, anyone worth their salt will get why.

EDIT: the above is out of the scope of people with alcohol addiction issues, im lucky enough to be able to do it cold turkey, it's more just if you binge every other weekend id recommend trying to go teetotal.

 

 

Edited October 7, 2023 by Thistle_do_nicely

[Venti]

Coming off the drink is dangerous though.

Heard of people with alcohol dependency going into seizures.

[Thistle_do_nicely]

58 minutes ago, Venti said:

Coming off the drink is dangerous though.

Heard of people with alcohol dependency going into seizures.

yeah, i did edit it to caveat that the more severe it is, the more likely you'll need professional medical advice to help you safely stop.

only really applies if you, say, binge every Friday/Saturday or struggle to stop drinking on a night once you start.

[Venti]

37 minutes ago, Thistle_do_nicely said:

yeah, i did edit it to caveat that the more severe it is, the more likely you'll need professional medical advice to help you safely stop.

only really applies if you, say, binge every Friday/Saturday or struggle to stop drinking on a night once you start.

Just stay say whatever you do mate.

DM if you want.

Edited October 7, 2023 by Venti
safe*

[DA Baracus]

On 04/10/2023 at 19:01, RH33 said:

I went back for a therapy session. Which resulted in lots frogs out boxes. Then had self harm and meltdown but I've basically worked two jobs and ended up of no use to anyone on Monday.

Not ideal and not sure I'm going go back for more, I've worked same person for a long time so it saves the background.

I'm exhausted and want a week on a poolside with private eye and a fit man to service my needs.

 

Ah f**k, sorry to hear that. Hope the self harm isn't something permanent.

Regarding the job situation, is there a chance you can get time off, during which you can consider your options? I know that the brain/mind can be a massive fucking traitor when you aren't well, encouraging big choices, which can be good or bad.

 

For what it's worth, you come across on here as an excellent mum and young lady in general, especially considering your (really) tough situation.

 

Hope you can get the holiday and pumping you want!

[RH33]

Young, that's cheered me up!

[Guest]

 

Thank you to everyone on this thread who has helped me when I've needed it. Thought I'd share this fantastic video from Norwich. Thank you P&B 

[RH33]

I dont want risk saying in public what's happened in the last 12 hours. (I know that's very u ok *** post) But it's hell and I'm fighting with every fibre not to let the situation get better of me.

 

[???]

feeling in a rut atm with life but happy with my lot. not helping myself, need to lose good bit of weight I am not happy with my appearance at the moment.

 

Exercise most days but eating is shocking.

 

Also marriage is feeling a huge strain due to 1 of my kids (oldest who is 7) acting out daily and me reacting.

 

Trying to use techniques to walk away etc but he follows to continue it. Wife at breaking point. Hopefully we get there.

 

[scottsdad]

5 hours ago, RH33 said:

I dont want risk saying in public what's happened in the last 12 hours. (I know that's very u ok *** post) But it's hell and I'm fighting with every fibre not to let the situation get better of me.

 

If you ever need to vent, this place is as good as any! 

Hope whatever is going on eases up soon.

[TxRover]

10 hours ago, ??? said:

Also marriage is feeling a huge strain due to 1 of my kids (oldest who is 7) acting out daily and me reacting.

 

Trying to use techniques to walk away etc but he follows to continue it. Wife at breaking point. Hopefully we get there.

 

One of the most difficult things to do is not react. As a parent, you can establish boundaries and then enforce them. Learning that the enforcement need not be immediate, like with pets and such, can be an easy one to over look. Consider using the “if you follow me right now, you will lose (name a privilege) for (choose a time period)”. Since you know there is a consequence for his actions, you may feel less compelled to react when he does it.

10 hours ago, RH33 said:

I dont want risk saying in public what's happened in the last 12 hours. (I know that's very u ok *** post) But it's hell and I'm fighting with every fibre not to let the situation get better of me.

 

Absolutely what scottsdad said, 100%+. Come here and scream, yell, vent…belittle some of our weirder posters, whatever helps dissipate the stress. Being a Ross County fan is surely enough stress right now. We know you’ll be OK because you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, but even the best need to let it out sometime and somewhere.

[RH33]

On 11/10/2023 at 09:05, scottsdad said:

If you ever need to vent, this place is as good as any! 

Hope whatever is going on eases up soon.

Usually I would but on this ocassion i can't. But I feel like I've been hit by a bus. I'll get there though. Some people are only happy taking others down.

That Norwich video is excellent.

[Venti]

22 minutes ago, RH33 said:

Usually I would but on this ocassion i can't. But I feel like I've been hit by a bus. I'll get there though. Some people are only happy taking others down.

That Norwich video is excellent.

Only someone as strong as you can get hit by a bus & come out the other side.

We're always here if you need us.

[TxRover]

9 hours ago, RH33 said:

Usually I would but on this ocassion i can't. But I feel like I've been hit by a bus. I'll get there though. Some people are only happy taking others down.

That Norwich video is excellent.

Oh Lordie that sounds familiar. I’ve got a nasty acid ball eating at my stomach right now with a Court Hearing in the morning. I expect the opposing party to make an absolute f**king circus of it for God knows what reason…so I know what you mean about some people. Hopefully your situation is a bit more transitory, and the bus doesn’t back up. Wish we could help, but just know we ARE here if you need the support…no judgement, no questions, that’s the sweet part of this little corner of a Scottish fitba backwater.

[Bairnardo]

Had a really odd experience the other day.... Was my birthday this week and evidently iv hit the point where no one really gives a f**k that its my birthday anymore, which I'd always assumed I was OK with, but an IOU message in the hastily written card off the wife must have landed a bit, cos as the day went on I just felt.... Sad. When I was driving home from work, I actually felt.like crying. Just floored mood-wise. It was really weird. 

Then I got to thinking about some shit thats happened of late. Specifically afew weeks ago the wife having a bit of a meltdown that she can't keep going like we are because I'm not affectionate enough and she doesn't feel as loved as she should. Nothing to do with falling out or me not doing my bit or working hard or being a good parent, just this sort of intangible thing that's missing from my personality.... Anyway that was a few weeks ago and it's sort of got better, but again I think it might have left a mark on me, cos I got to thinking, I know she's spoke to her various pals about these problems. Women do. So now there's all these folk who have some sort of opinion on my marriage and subsequently of me, but I don't have anyone asking me what I think or feel. My pals aren't really that type of guy.... I'm not either.

It's just the whole things made me feel like I'm sort of in a lot of folks periphery, but no ones focus. I just get on and handle my shit, which is hard as we never really get a break from the kids due to lack of family, then when something makes me feel shite I don't really have many places to turn. 

Going back to the feeling of sudden sadness, iv never felt anything like it. I think il.habe to keep a eye on it, because it's the first time iv ever felt maybe there is a genuine issue there

Long post like, but felt I needed to vent it

[Clarko_son]

On 07/10/2023 at 13:11, Thistle_do_nicely said:

couple of things i want to say, just as general points, hoping someone can find these handy:

i) dont be afraid to bite the bullet and go to the doctors for medication. ended up getting prescribed sertraline and, while not a wonderdrug, its definitely making a difference

This is something I had been putting off for years and it's made a huge difference so far. I had real reservations about using medication for one reason or another but I bit the bullet after a weird couple of months where I started feeling completely out of control emotionally. 

I had felt down years ago but think it was just due to hitting a bit of a slump in my life and being in a job I really didn't enjoy. This time my mood was just swinging all over the scale throughout the day and at a friend's wedding had a complete breakdown which wasn't the best exactly. It was one of those where alcohol was involved as well but think it just removed inhibition and I was saying things that I'd suppressed rather than just talking pish, thankfully to my wife rather than making any public scene.

I've found sertraline has helped smooth things out a bit. I've still had a few bad days (1 really bad) but overall things feel a lot more in control which was pretty much all I had really wanted. I've tried CBT before but there's just something about it that I can't put my finger on about how it just doesn't seem to work for me. I would feel much better in the sessions and immediately after but by the next day or later on the same day I'd be back feeling all over the place again. Might just be the people I've had or something else altogether but I couldn't really get much out of it.

The misery side of things was even getting to the point where we went away on holiday at the start of September and all I ended up doing was just moaning about everything and getting to the point where my wife was calling me out about it. While I'd also tried to keep work out of it as I actually like what I do, naturally it seeped into that as well and my performance went completely down the shitter the past few months. Thankfully I've got a boss that's been supportive about it all and if anything it taught me a lesson that seems really obvious yet I hadn't really picked up on, some bad figures aren't the end of the world. I know I'm fortunate in that side of things as there's been other places I've been where this wouldn't have been the case.

Sorry this is just turned into a ramble but basically if you're kind of on the fence about medication I'd try and keep an open mind about it. It's not necessarily a recommendation and it's just based on my experience of it but it's helped me. Likewise CBT or other therapies might work just I didn't find them great.

[Venti]

18 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Had a really odd experience the other day.... Was my birthday this week and evidently iv hit the point where no one really gives a f**k that its my birthday anymore, which I'd always assumed I was OK with, but an IOU message in the hastily written card off the wife must have landed a bit, cos as the day went on I just felt.... Sad. When I was driving home from work, I actually felt.like crying. Just floored mood-wise. It was really weird. 

Then I got to thinking about some shit thats happened of late. Specifically afew weeks ago the wife having a bit of a meltdown that she can't keep going like we are because I'm not affectionate enough and she doesn't feel as loved as she should. Nothing to do with falling out or me not doing my bit or working hard or being a good parent, just this sort of intangible thing that's missing from my personality.... Anyway that was a few weeks ago and it's sort of got better, but again I think it might have left a mark on me, cos I got to thinking, I know she's spoke to her various pals about these problems. Women do. So now there's all these folk who have some sort of opinion on my marriage and subsequently of me, but I don't have anyone asking me what I think or feel. My pals aren't really that type of guy.... I'm not either.

It's just the whole things made me feel like I'm sort of in a lot of folks periphery, but no ones focus. I just get on and handle my shit, which is hard as we never really get a break from the kids due to lack of family, then when something makes me feel shite I don't really have many places to turn. 

Going back to the feeling of sudden sadness, iv never felt anything like it. I think il.habe to keep a eye on it, because it's the first time iv ever felt maybe there is a genuine issue there

Long post like, but felt I needed to vent it

I've been in a similar scenario before.

In a relationship where you feel edged out & become feeling irrelevant. Wasn't married or had kids like you, but I know the way it makes you feel like you're of no use.

Wish I had answers for you Bairn, I kinda suck at this. 

[RH33]

After I few really trying weeks, where I was really pushed limits of coping. I'm pretty sure I'm though danger zone.

Wary posting too much in public but some people get cheap thrills trying to break others.

 

['WellDel]

1 hour ago, RH33 said:

After I few really trying weeks, where I was really pushed limits of coping. I'm pretty sure I'm though danger zone.

Wary posting too much in public but some people get cheap thrills trying to break others.

 

Glad to hear you've come through your rough period and hope things continue to improve for you.

People can be cnuts, and sometimes those who are/were close to us can turn out to actually be the worst, whether through jealousy, spite or whatever. We can only keep being the best we can be, and their cuntery will always be outed in the end, so f**k 'em. Keep on keeping on with your head held high.