Depression

[DA Baracus]

Cumbernauld. Like I say, all should be gone by Xmas so don't see why any of them should start any extreme procedures. I'm not sure where my nearest Barclays is but I'll look into that shortly. I take it I have to close my current account (with the new TSB) first before changing?

I have mates that have bumped payday loans and haven't paid them back. I'd rather get them sorted and try to build my credit rating up again so i have the option of a bank loan if I really need it.

The payday loan situation in General is interesting. I know I fell into the trap but I'm amazed at how much they get away with it. I also know the government are fighting back but I imagine a lot have people have lost so much due to them.

Thanks for the reassurance again

Nah they won't start extreme procedures. That can take up to a year at least. Most companies are fairly alright up to a point as well as long as you talk to them.

It's good that you can get the debts paid quickly. If you phone them and speak to them and tell them, i.e. come to an arrangement with them, then it should be all good.

Re changing bank account; you don't have to close your other account, but it might be worth doing so.

I felt all at sea, totally lost, re my debt, but it's actually quite straightforward to get it sorted once you know how.

[RH33]

Yhallsaint, in July I took all my anti depressants, on the 23rd sept I took anti depressants, Diazapam and sleeping tablets. On the 26th Sept I took 32 paracetamol. The last one was a proper attempt others probably desperate crys for help. I also cut myself extensivly.

I was in a psyc ward on voluntary admission in July because had my GPs not been there I was going in front of the next Ayr express train.

Today I saw my consultant psychiatrast and he was amazed at the report in front of him and the person sat there.

You are not selfish, you have an illness that is debilitating and poorly treated by and large on the NHS.

Things are dark just now. But if you want them to they can get better. It's a long slow process, took me 18months last time.

[Homer Thompson]

Aye it can be really easy. I got 5 payday loans and a credit card all in the same week. I already had 2 overdrafts at the time (I had managed to pay a 3rd off a year or so before). Mental. I know it's my own fault, so not blaming the companies, but would warn others to be careful. When you're desperate, it can be very easy. I think it's a bit more controlled now, but it's still easy to get caught up in.

Once you realise that the companies can't do anything except demand more money, you'll feel a bit better. Once you get something sorted out, you'll probably wonder why you got so worried about it. The only thing a company can do if you have no assets is to freeze your wages, but if you don't have a job they can't do that, plus they have to go through court to get to that level. That's really extreme mind and would take a long time to get to that level. They might be able to fire into your bank account mind, which is why I'd strongly recommend changing it (often part of the terms of signing up to shit is that they have access to your account via your bank card). For some reason banks have started credit checking folk for getting a standard bank account (i.e. no overdraft, no credit card, just deposit and withdraw); I got rejected by a few, but was told that Barlcays are really good and will take you on. I made an appointment with them and opened my account in 5 minutes during the appointment, so I strongly recommend Barlcays if you change your account.

I thought at first that it was quite a bit to pay £60 a month for 7 years as I was on JSA, but since I've been working it's absolutely nothing, especially considering the peace of mind it's given me. Well worth going and speaking to someone. Where are you based?

Really good advice RE debt. One thing though - if you're circumstances have changed should you not inform the company handling your DAS?

[YHallSaint]

I could have written exactly the same thing. I've pretty much shut myself off from friends after this as I couldn't trust them anymore.

I also lost a close friend who I could trust a few months back and the attitude of my old supposed friends towards this person dying told me everything I needed to know, hardly even a few words on poxy facebook.

The thing that annoys me is that despite opening up and telling them about why I was away they still acted like c***s - found that really hard to deal with. The accepted a friend who got caught dealing drugs and jailed ahead of me - it was entirely not my choosing to become depressed and withdrawn. You wouldn't abuse and ignore a person after a car accident so what's the difference?

I feel like posting some of this shit on their facebook page and closing my account at least people could see what complete b*****ds they are.

I definitely found a lot of people were uneasy when I said how I was feeling. Maybe they never expected it from me but i'm in the same boat, I never asked for this or chose to be like this. I have a few good mates who have helped me but I can start to see they're not interested anymore. I got rid of a lot of so called friends because I couldn't trust them anymore and I had always been there for them through times including one mate who I paid off a huge debt for him, gave him a job and helped him get back on his feet. It has scared me how far down i've ended up in such a short amount of time and I just hope I can bounce back and learn to deal with everything. I totally understand your point mate, like I said in a previous post, it's an illlness. Its taking me a while to realise that. Hope your able to get through it and not let these people drag you down

[YHallSaint]

Yhallsaint, in July I took all my anti depressants, on the 23rd sept I took anti depressants, Diazapam and sleeping tablets. On the 26th Sept I took 32 paracetamol. The last one was a proper attempt others probably desperate crys for help. I also cut myself extensivly.

I was in a psyc ward on voluntary admission in July because had my GPs not been there I was going in front of the next Ayr express train.

Today I saw my consultant psychiatrast and he was amazed at the report in front of him and the person sat there.

You are not selfish, you have an illness that is debilitating and poorly treated by and large on the NHS.

Things are dark just now. But if you want them to they can get better. It's a long slow process, took me 18months last time.

Sorry to hear that Rowan. If I wasn't found I wouldn't be here today, I was very close to not making it. It was almost like it wasn't me, I have no memory of taking anything.

I wasn't overly happy with my treatment in hospital but it could have been my frame of mind. I will continue to seek help and i'm hoping I can get my life back as this is no way to live.

Good to hear your doing better

[Jacksgranda]

Really good advice RE debt. One thing though - if you're circumstances have changed should you not inform the company handling your DAS?

That's what I was thinking.

[DA Baracus]

Really good advice RE debt. One thing though - if you're circumstances have changed should you not inform the company handling your DAS?

The company knows I'm in employment now. My first payment to them was on my first pay day. They said I can up the sum I pay every month, and it's something I think I'll do at some point. I was warned by the money advice person I saw that it can be difficult to decrease the amount you pay after you'd upped it (as the companies you're paying would have to agree to it and one or two saying no would scupper that), so want to hold off for a while until I'm more secure.

Edited November 14, 2013 by DA Baracus

[mizfit]

After my redundancy I fell into a depressive state, was taking it out on people, my gf, my family and got a job I despised, it was eating me up knowing I was stuck at home whilst there was people going off to do things they liked and I was stuck in a dead end job.

I started to eat, I can't explain it but eating distracted me, I piled the weight on majorly, and I sat in the house all day , barely moving unless it was to get up and go to work.

2 months ago however I finished with my girlfriend after an agreement it wasn't working out anymore. I guess finishing with her was the catalyst to either change my life or throw it away like I currently was, I managed to get a new job, it's not quite a building site, it's in an office dealing with insurance, but it's a decent enough job, with great prospects, and I started college doing construction management, I've joined the gym and I'm working on sorting myself out now.

It does seem rather strange, but the ending of a relationship did leave me depressed, but it's made me change my ways. I can't understand it.

[RH33]

Sorry to hear that Rowan. If I wasn't found I wouldn't be here today, I was very close to not making it. It was almost like it wasn't me, I have no memory of taking anything.

I wasn't overly happy with my treatment in hospital but it could have been my frame of mind. I will continue to seek help and i'm hoping I can get my life back as this is no way to live.

Good to hear your doing better

I've an amazing husband and three little ones and that's helped. I see a private therapist as NHS useless.

Have a look at samh site.

[Sergeant Wilson]

I'm going through something similar. My sister, myself and parents live together and have done since for over 20 years but my parents are splitting up so there's an eerie silence in the house. It is a mutual split though, so there's no real heated arguments but even when everything was fine, none of us communicated at all. It's like four lodgers living together, not a family. It's my sisters graduation today and we are off out for a meal after it, first time we have went out as a family for a long time.

I'm starting to worry about my own situation which is entirely self inflicted. I've been unemployed since August (start new job on Sunday though, my first full time job with a proper wage but it's only 5 weeks, all relative though) and since the I've gotten myself ino a bit of debt. My mother bailed me out only a couple of months ago to the tune of £3k and if she finds out I've taken all these loans out again, she'll chuck me out. Now I can pay them off with the wages from this job but I don't get my first wage until the 29th when most of them are due. I haven't had a penny nor stepped out my front door in 15 days. I'm utterly shiting myself that a letter from one of the companies will come through the door and that'll be that. Even if I explain that I can pay them back, I betraid their trust and I can have no complains.

I know that must seem extremely shite compared to other posts but I haven't been sleeping well an can't get it out my head. I'm not sure a visit to my GP would do anything, last thing I want is to put my upcoming work in jeopardy.

What age is your maw? I like the cut of her gib. Got a few bob and on the rebound. Ideal!

[Sergeant Wilson]

As a side note, I've experienced rapid cycling moods for the first time in a number of years. It's absolutely debilitating.

Well they say you never forget how to.

[KeeperDee]

Well they say you never forget how to.

I can't ride a bike.

[Swampy]

I've always tried to be the one to be there for people. Its knocked me for six not feeling in control of myself anymore. Reading through this thread really opened my eyes to how other people are going through similar things. I kind of felt for the last ten years all i've been doing is getting on with it with a fake smile where in truth i'm broken inside. I've realised this is an illness which took me a while as I thought I was weak. I've got an appointment tomorrow with the doctor as I need to sort this out.

I for one would like to know how you get on at the doc. Keep us updated. You're taking a good step.

[Sergeant Wilson]

I can't ride a bike.

No wonder you're depressed!

Seriously, you'd need to be mad to cycle on the road. Terrifying!

[KeeperDee]

Sometimes life can deal you a very poor hand. There's a number of things that can go wrong in your childhood that deeply affect and shape you as you grow up and unfortunately that's how I've ended up the way I have.

Life now is probably as good as it has ever been but even after therapy and seemingly coming to terms with what happened, I still have the same problem that has manifested itself throughout my earlier years; I have trust issues.

I have no trust in the people I should have trust in and it's really affecting my relationships with the other people in my life. It's not nice thinking everyone has some sort of hidden motive when they are talking to you or doing something for you. The main result of this is that I've become overly cynical of people and as an added result that means I'm quite a sad person. I don't like being this way but I genuinely cannot see how I can snap out of it. I know the root cause, I have identified the behaviour and I've tried to fix it but it just won't budge.

My bipolar disorder is stress induced and I've began to notice now more than ever, due to a sort of really acute self awareness, that I'm getting more and more stressed and it's caused by not having trust in people. I hate it so much, I absolutely despise having no trust in people. I know they have no reason to have an alterior motive but it just seems I can't shake the insecurity that leads to this sort of thinking.

I'm sorry for the ramble and I'm sure some parts won't be coherent.

[ForeverSinging]

Sometimes life can deal you a very poor hand. There's a number of things that can go wrong in your childhood that deeply affect and shape you as you grow up and unfortunately that's how I've ended up the way I have.

Life now is probably as good as it has ever been but even after therapy and seemingly coming to terms with what happened, I still have the same problem that has manifested itself throughout my earlier years; I have trust issues.

I have no trust in the people I should have trust in and it's really affecting my relationships with the other people in my life. It's not nice thinking everyone has some sort of hidden motive when they are talking to you or doing something for you. The main result of this is that I've become overly cynical of people and as an added result that means I'm quite a sad person. I don't like being this way but I genuinely cannot see how I can snap out of it. I know the root cause, I have identified the behaviour and I've tried to fix it but it just won't budge.

My bipolar disorder is stress induced and I've began to notice now more than ever, due to a sort of really acute self awareness, that I'm getting more and more stressed and it's caused by not having trust in people. I hate it so much, I absolutely despise having no trust in people. I know they have no reason to have an alterior motive but it just seems I can't shake the insecurity that leads to this sort of thinking.

I'm sorry for the ramble and I'm sure some parts won't be coherent.

I know the feeling my friend. I know it's not really groundbreaking advice but try not worry about it. You know you always come across as a decent guy anyway if that means anything to you. Hope your mood improves and you feel okay.

[Disco Duck]

I've always tried to be the one to be there for people. Its knocked me for six not feeling in control of myself anymore. Reading through this thread really opened my eyes to how other people are going through similar things. I kind of felt for the last ten years all i've been doing is getting on with it with a fake smile where in truth i'm broken inside. I've realised this is an illness which took me a while as I thought I was weak. I've got an appointment tomorrow with the doctor as I need to sort this out.

It can be all too easy to look at other people and assume everybody else has it sorted - everyone is confident, never puts a foot wrong, is on an even keel. Truth is there is no way to tell how anybody else is.

Hope the appointment with the doc goes well. Don't be afraid to accept help, whether it's tablets, counselling, a more frequent GP visit or even posting on here. They won't necessarily all help, but at least one of them will.

I remember being told by a psychologist (outwith his practice) that depression invariably improves if afforded enough time. It can just be very difficult to realise it when you're in the midst of it.

[NotThePars]

Split up with my girlfriend last week and finding it a bit tough. Not so much about missing her or anything just it's coincided with a lot of uni work, winter and being skint so I'm stuck in a lot with no company and nothing to do. This thread's a great read though and inspiring to see a lot of people prepared to talk things over and help each other.

[ForeverSinging]

I remember being told by a psychologist (outwith his practice) that depression invariably improves if afforded enough time. It can just be very difficult to realise it when you're in the midst of it.

That's a great thought to bear in mind, thanks for that

[Homer Thompson]

The company knows I'm in employment now. My first payment to them was on my first pay day. They said I can up the sum I pay every month, and it's something I think I'll do at some point. I was warned by the money advice person I saw that it can be difficult to decrease the amount you pay after you'd upped it (as the companies you're paying would have to agree to it and one or two saying no would scupper that), so want to hold off for a while until I'm more secure.

Fair enough. Sounds like they're getting you a good deal