Pub Etiquette

[Cardinal Richelieu]

What if he'd asked you to buy him a big marker pen?

[Karpaty]

c***s who wander up to the bar and get served first even though you have been waiting longer.

c***s who ask how much everything costs.

c***s who ask if they sell X, Y and Z.

c***s who hang about the pool tables even though they're not playing.

Fine if it's to your mate after the pint has been poured and paid for, eg "Christ that's a bit steep" or whatever, but to ask the barman how much a pint costs is a bit bad. Have at least £3.50 ready if it's a run of the mill pub and it's just a pint of Tennent's, if it's more than that then have one and leave.

One that annoys me is if your with others and you all drink at different speeds, rounds is probably not the best thing to do. I avoid rounds when possible, nothing worse when having to rush a pint down because someone else drinks like a gannet.

[vikingTON]

It's just selfish IMO.

They would order the steak or lobster in a restaurant to be the centre of attention when everyone else is just trying to fit in.

I might've liked steak and a better drink too but we are in a group so just adjust a wee bit.

It's a vodka and fucking coke you utter tink - cheaper than a pint anyway in any respectable establishment.

[jmothecat]

I went to uni with someone who would invariably buy the first round (before asking if folk actually wanted to do rounds) and would get the cheapest lager on offer for everyone (including himself). He'd do this knowing that we'd then be obliged to continue to the rounds, when he would order things like a 'jack and coke', therefore meaning he'd spend £2 on a pint for you, and then expect you to spend £3.50 on a drink for him.

Usually out of social awkwardness that's what I'd end up doing. Always resented it though, considered just buying him a coke and requesting a smaller glass hoping he wouldn't notice, never did it though.

Other thing I hate is when you are at a busy bar, and the person before you orders a huge order in one of those situations where the barman makes a couple of drinks, then asks the guy what else he wants, then he does the next couple, then asks for the next part of the order etc and the customer decides to ask for the pint of Guinness last.

[smpar]

It's a vodka and fucking coke you utter tink - cheaper than a pint anyway in any respectable establishment.

Is a vodka and coke a regular for most folk here when they're at the pub? They're fine in a club but I only ever think of having beer - and occasionally whisky - in a pub for no other reason than it doesn't feel 'right' to have a vodka and coke in a pub.

[itzdrk]

Yeah, always one dickhead.

Pint? Pint? Pint? Pint? Pint? Double vodka and coke?

Don't drink beer? Ah ok.

Walk away thinking gimp.

No SOCO no party

[TheCelt67]

I went to uni with someone who would invariably buy the first round (before asking if folk actually wanted to do rounds) and would get the cheapest lager on offer for everyone (including himself). He'd do this knowing that we'd then be obliged to continue to the rounds, when he would order things like a 'jack and coke', therefore meaning he'd spend £2 on a pint for you, and then expect you to spend £3.50 on a drink for him.

Two stories along similar lines.

Once I was walking into the pub when I bumped into a guy who I used to go to school with who was out having a smoke, the usual pish you hit out with when you see someone you haven't seen for a while, you know the script, "how's things?" "what's new?" etc etc, long story short as we were both walking in I asked if he wanted a drink, told me he was in wife his girlfriend so I shouted them up a pint and a vodka coke or whatever it was, he took the drinks and went back to sitting with his missus, I joined my mates, barely had a sip of my pint when a member of staff informed me that they both had been sitting in the pub for about and hour and a half nursing the two glasses of coke they had bought earlier.

The other was when I was standing in a pub in the city centre when this older jakey looking guy walked in, dropped a handful of smash on the bar before starting to count the coins, he was mumbling about how much a whisky cost, I kinda took pity on him and said to the barman, pour my a pint and send the old fella up a whisky to which said jakey replies, "In that case son, make it a large one".....needless to say I never got a whisky along with the pint.

[itzdrk]

Is a vodka and coke a regular for most folk here when they're at the pub? They're fine in a club but I only ever think of having beer - and occasionally whisky - in a pub for no other reason than it doesn't feel 'right' to have a vodka and coke in a pub.

I don't really drink beer so for me aye

[Hammer Jag]

when a member of staff informed me that they both had been sitting in the pub for about and hour and a half nursing the two glasses of coke they had bought earlier.

Scumbag behaviour.

London is particularly bad for this, especially anywhere showing football or rugby. You can't get a good seat for crusty, student types sitting nursing a can of coke between the three of them.

[TheCelt67]

Scumbag behaviour.

London is particularly bad for this, especially anywhere showing football or rugby. You can't get a good seat for crusty, student types sitting nursing a can of coke between the three of them.

Last time I was in London visiting my uncle I jumped into a pub in South London to watch the football, just before kick off about 12-15 guys walked in, starting taking seats and tables, not one of them bought a drink, manager of the boozer was either not arsed about it or too scared to do anything about it.

[DAVE M]

When the bar is really busy, I don't like it when some people choose to set up camp at the bar. They'll stand there drinking when everyone else is struggling to get served and then have to shout their order across them and it's more difficult handing the money over and getting drinks etc. It's fine any other time, but not when it's busy.

[wellfan09]

When the bar is really busy, I don't like it when some people choose to set up camp at the bar. They'll stand there drinking when everyone else is struggling to get served and then have to shout their order across them and it's more difficult handing the money over and getting drinks etc. It's fine any other time, but not when it's busy.

I've never understood why anyone wants to stand at the bar even when it isn't busy, like why would you actually want to go to the pub after work and stand up at the bar rather than just grab a seat and relax?

[Shotgun]

I'm with Fudge on this. The only reason we tip in this country is because of American movies.

And in America, waiting staff get absolute min. wage so tipping was a way of topping up.

No, wait staff in the US get less than minimum wage. For reasons which have never been properly explained to me, restaurant owners are exempt from the minimum wage laws and can legally pay their employees a pittance. Worse, the staff are taxed on their 'expected' tips, rather than their true earnings. In many cases the wait staff also have to share the tip with the lassie who walks you from the front door to the table, the barman who poured your beer into a glass and the old guy who collects the dirty plates when you're done.

So, the waitress has little choice but to act as if making you happy is all she lives for while you the customer, are morally blackmailed into making sure she can pay her rent.

Add in the social stigma of "anyone who doesn't tip is a canute" and place it alongside the "if you don't tip, the waiter will dip his todger in your soup" paranoia and the restaurant owners have the best legal scam on the planet.

Edited May 26, 2014 by Shotgun

[jmothecat]

No, wait staff in the US get less than minimum wage. For reasons which have never been properly explained to me, restaurant owners are exempt from the minimum wage laws and can legally pay their employees a pittance. Worse, the staff are taxed on their 'expected' tips, rather than their true earnings. In many cases the wait staff also have to share the tip with the lassie who walks you from the front door to the table, the barman who poured your beer into a glass and the old guy who collects the dirty plates when you're done.

So, the waitress has little choice but to act as if making you happy is all she lives for while you the customer, are morally blackmailed into making sure she can pay her rent.

Add in the social stigma of "anyone who doesn't tip is a canute" and place it alongside the "if you don't tip, the waiter will dip his todger in your soup" paranoia and the restaurant owners have the best legal scam on the planet.

I might be wrong on this but I think technically waiting staff are supposed to declare their tips officially so that if they don't actually get enough to cover the minimum wage the employer is therefore obliged to pay the difference.

I suppose the theory behind the tip culture is the typical right-wing American philosophy that those who work harder deserve to be paid more. The obvious flaw being that it probably comes down purely to the dumb luck of who comes in, how pretty you are and how much cleavage you are willing to show to customers.

[carpetmonster]

Technically they can, but doing it would probably be the quickest way of losing your job known to man. It varies state to state - I know in Oregon waiters and bar staff get the same minimum wage as everyone else. The Florida minimum wage is $7.75 or thereabouts, but for tipped staff it's $2.15.

[Guest The Phoenix]

If you're playing someone at pool, especially a complete stranger, DO NOT fanny about talking to your mates when the other person is waiting on you taking your shot. And if you are a mere spectator, move if asked, it's a bit tricky to take a shot with your cue at a near-vertical angle.

Pubs that have to squeeze a pool table into a space that doesn't allow for room to play a shot normally shouldn't have a pool table.

[DAFC]

I went to uni with someone who would invariably buy the first round (before asking if folk actually wanted to do rounds) and would get the cheapest lager on offer for everyone (including himself). He'd do this knowing that we'd then be obliged to continue to the rounds, when he would order things like a 'jack and coke', therefore meaning he'd spend £2 on a pint for you, and then expect you to spend £3.50 on a drink for him.

Usually out of social awkwardness that's what I'd end up doing. Always resented it though, considered just buying him a coke and requesting a smaller glass hoping he wouldn't notice, never did it though.

Other thing I hate is when you are at a busy bar, and the person before you orders a huge order in one of those situations where the barman makes a couple of drinks, then asks the guy what else he wants, then he does the next couple, then asks for the next part of the order etc and the customer decides to ask for the pint of Guinness last.

This is what I'm on about, it's sneaky behavior. Same person that waits until a group meal and orders a steak while everyone else is going for a cheap option.

Add that up over a few night outs and they're taking the piss.

[54_and_counting]

Last time I was in London visiting my uncle I jumped into a pub in South London to watch the football, just before kick off about 12-15 guys walked in, starting taking seats and tables, not one of them bought a drink, manager of the boozer was either not arsed about it or too scared to do anything about it.

manager probably didnt mind because it made the place look and feel busier, dead pubs dont keep their customers

i mind a pub who's manager used to work every fri. sat and sun early, he'd go in about 2 hours before opening and simply feed the puggy with pound coins until it spat the jackpot (or two or 3 depending on how the puggy liked to payout), he wouldnt take ANYTHING less than the jackpot and the minute it finished its payout cycle he'd chuck playing it, he'd then replace whatever money he took out the till to play the machine, pocketed the profits (sometimes a lot sometimes f**k all) and then opened up as usual

cue all the friday, sat and sunday regulars feeding the thing trying for the jackpot and getting heehaw near it

Pub gets its cut off the puggy rental company, manager makes a wee or big profit everyweek and the punters are humped big time, sleekit b*****d

[Cardinal Richelieu]

i mind a pub who's manager used to work every fri. sat and sun early, he'd go in about 2 hours before opening and simply feed the puggy with pound coins until it spat the jackpot (or two or 3 depending on how the puggy liked to payout), he wouldnt take ANYTHING less than the jackpot and the minute it finished its payout cycle he'd chuck playing it, he'd then replace whatever money he took out the till to play the machine, pocketed the profits (sometimes a lot sometimes f**k all) and then opened up as usual

It's not that straightforward though, otherwise everyone would do it. Depending on the puggy, the jackpot on the machine can't be forced (or at least it would be prohibitively expensive to do so) so he must have ended up losing big sometimes. Although he probably knew ways of getting round that problem (i.e. dip the takings).

[Lex]

manager probably didnt mind because it made the place look and feel busier, dead pubs dont keep their customers

i mind a pub who's manager used to work every fri. sat and sun early, he'd go in about 2 hours before opening and simply feed the puggy with pound coins until it spat the jackpot (or two or 3 depending on how the puggy liked to payout), he wouldnt take ANYTHING less than the jackpot and the minute it finished its payout cycle he'd chuck playing it, he'd then replace whatever money he took out the till to play the machine, pocketed the profits (sometimes a lot sometimes f**k all) and then opened up as usual

cue all the friday, sat and sunday regulars feeding the thing trying for the jackpot and getting heehaw near it

Pub gets its cut off the puggy rental company, manager makes a wee or big profit everyweek and the punters are humped big time, sleekit b*****d

This same scam was common when I worked in casinos. The managers would spend all night watching which puggies hadn't paid out (they were experts in which one the jackpot was due) and at closing time we'd chip in a couple of pounds each and take a cut of the winnings.

Kinda felt sorry for whatever puggy addict that had been playing it for 2 hours before, and then came in at opening time the next day and played it for another 2 hours and was completely baffled at why it wasn't paying out. Kinda, but not really