Pub Etiquette

[Hedgecutter]

Auld arseholes that ask for a "hauf n a hauf", pick one or the other ya auld p***k.

... or people who ask for "vodka and coke". K'sake.

[TheLip69]

Worked with one guy who was a fuckin genius at avoiding his round. Five steps from pavement to pub door, he's at the front and I'm just behind him in the middle. He bounds up the stairs with me and the mate following him and I get in the door first. This day we have no idea how he managed it, he just seemed to disappear and then appear again once we'd ordered.

[TheCelt67]

manager probably didnt mind because it made the place look and feel busier, dead pubs dont keep their customers

i mind a pub who's manager used to work every fri. sat and sun early, he'd go in about 2 hours before opening and simply feed the puggy with pound coins until it spat the jackpot (or two or 3 depending on how the puggy liked to payout), he wouldnt take ANYTHING less than the jackpot and the minute it finished its payout cycle he'd chuck playing it, he'd then replace whatever money he took out the till to play the machine, pocketed the profits (sometimes a lot sometimes f**k all) and then opened up as usual

cue all the friday, sat and sunday regulars feeding the thing trying for the jackpot and getting heehaw near it

Pub gets its cut off the puggy rental company, manager makes a wee or big profit everyweek and the punters are humped big time, sleekit b*****d

Thing was mate, whilst the pub wasn't packed, it wasn't exactly empty either, as I said he either wasn't arsed or more likely was too scared to say anything about it.

Regarding the puggy, I wouldn't let staff play the machine even if their shift was finished and they were having a pint before they left, seen too many arguments and fights over staff playing machines, and I totally agree with the customers complaint.

[MONKMAN]

This is what I'm on about, it's sneaky behavior. Same person that waits until a group meal and orders a steak while everyone else is going for a cheap option.

Add that up over a few night outs and they're taking the piss.

I wouldn't go out for a meal if I felt I was restricted to what I had to eat. If I was ordering steak and wine, whereas everyone else was on cheaper options and a few pints, then I'd pay more accordingly.

[Venti]

I've never understood why anyone wants to stand at the bar even when it isn't busy, like why would you actually want to go to the pub after work and stand up at the bar rather than just grab a seat and relax?

[~~~]

To be fair, they're sitting at seats provided, but standing about

[DA Baracus]

Re saying ‘and one for yourself’ to a barman/woman; this is a frankly stupid and archaic thing to do. Most people who work behind a bar are not allowed to drink on the job (a basic tenet of most employment) and will have to refuse it, leading on occasions to the person offering insisting over and over, rising the ire of the barperson to such an extent that they’ll probably think you’re an arsehole. Also saying it to an attractive girl working behind the bar will not impress her. I doubt a single woman has dropped her pants after being offered ‘one for yourself’. A simple tip jar is far more effective, although I see no reason to actually tip bar people.

Having worked behind the bar (awful job), I found a new level of contempt for the general public. The aforementioned shouting out orders at you when you’re serving, waving money, clicking fingers, banging on the bar (I went mental at someone for doing it, leading to us both apologising to each other later); brutal, awful shit. When I worked behind a bar, any one of those things would ensure I ignored you. I think there should be set serving points, like at the post office, and a queue with railings, to ensure that people get served fairly. If you work at a bar when it’s busy, people arrive from all sides, making it very hard to keep track of who is first, especially since people are such dishonest p***ks who push in and won’t tell you that someone was before you, so you will always annoy people and they’ll become irrationally impatient. The queue system and serving points would work well (or even just have a queue like they do at the bar at the Barrowlands). When people get served in order, it seems to go a lot quicker as well.

Also no one would ever be allowed to stand or sit at the bar. When it’s really busy and there are folk sitting at the bar, I want to burn all of humanity as clearly there is no hope for us.

Rounds are usually far more trouble than they’re worth. If someone buys me a pint then I’ll always buy them back, but I prefer to quaff beers at my own pace and just buy my own. If someone ever tried the kind of cheap shit mentioned in this thread, laughter would be had and they would get what they bought me or something similar. Luckily none of my friends are tinky jakes who try to rip the piss.

[KnightswoodBear]

On the odd occasion I've told someone to take one for themselves, I've never once actually thought that they should go and pour a drink for themselves, I always took it that they'd charge me for a drink and pocket the money as a tip.

I thought this was what everyone meant?

[TheCelt67]

It seems to be different etiquette for different pubs. From my point of view, if someone said to me "have one for yourself", I would always just stick a pound in the tip jar, and the rest of the staff would do the same. The only time I would take a drink was if someone actually told me to grab a pint when I finished. Most of the pubs I drink in, if not all, when you tell the staff "take one for yourself", it's a pound chucked in the jar.

[IrishBhoy]

On the odd occasion I've told someone to take one for themselves, I've never once actually thought that they should go and pour a drink for themselves, I always took it that they'd charge me for a drink and pocket the money as a tip.

I thought this was what everyone meant?

Was just going to say that. If I've ever been at the bar when someone tells the barmaid to take one for themselves, they add a pound onto the price and throw it in a jar.

[TheScarf]

Yeah I worked in a bar in Inverness about 5 years ago for a short spell and when someone tipped me a drink I added the amount of a pint to my tips, I'd never actually have the drink.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

"Have one yourself" is a confusing phrase, and could potentially cost you a fiver if their drink of choice is a pint of Peroni. I just take my change and then handover a £1 or £2 instead.

[Fuctifano]

Away from the tipping argument, folk with no sense of spatial awareness who stand at the edge of their group and keep bumping into you without apologising.

[chomp my root]

I wouldn't go out for a meal if I felt I was restricted to what I had to eat. If I was ordering steak and wine, whereas everyone else was on cheaper options and a few pints, then I'd pay more accordingly.

I tend to get a bottle of wine for myself if I'm out for a meal (if others want to share thats fine but if everyone else is on pints I'll have a bottle to myself) and just throw in for the price of the bottle. I wouldn't not order something expensive off the menu I just toss in a bit more if I've eaten something a bit pricier. I probably see myself off on these occasions because I'm not looking for 'value', I probably overpay but I'm a generous kind hearted wee soul and if I'm out for a meal with people its because I like them so don't grudge it.

[Florentine_Pogen]

I tend to get a bottle of wine for myself if I'm out for a meal (if others want to share thats fine but if everyone else is on pints I'll have a bottle to myself) and just throw in for the price of the bottle. I wouldn't not order something expensive off the menu I just toss in a bit more if I've eaten something a bit pricier. I probably see myself off on these occasions because I'm not looking for 'value', I probably overpay but I'm a generous kind hearted wee soul and if I'm out for a meal with people its because I like them so don't grudge it.

[chomp my root]

Aye, I'm a bone fide 'good guy'

[Venti]

To be fair, they're sitting at seats provided, but standing about

I was always surprised they made it 11yrs without anyone getting Cirrhosis...

[Hedgecutter]

From my point of view, if someone said to me "have one for yourself", I would always just stick a pound in the tip jar

Or say "I'll take a bottle of Moet home with me then, cheers!" and demand an extra £40.

[Hampden Diehard]

If I'm standing at the bar waiting for a drink (and I'm not a pushy sort) I hate it when flash tossers or women with attitude breeze up and just shout their order over the top of you. If the barmaid / barmen ignore them, I'll definitely give them a tip.

Nothing to do with pub etiquette, but entertaining. A mate was working in London in 1982 (??) and lived in a posh area. His local pub was owned by a Scot and we spent a couple of days camped in the place round about a trip to Wembley. We had the Scotland World Cup song on the juke box constantly. A couple of posh English boys eventually got fed up and fed the jukey, and laughingly told us that they had put the England World Cup song on a few times so we could get it up ourselves. The pub owner, though, had replaced the England record with another Scotland one and swapped the label on the second Scottish one. Feckin hilarious as the English guys kept pouring more and more cash into the jukey.

[welshbairn]

The routine in Liverpool pubs is good, when you pay you say "and your own" which is usually 20p. Because most people do it the bar staff get a fair wedge at the end of the night. As has been said before, when offered "one for yourself" elsewhere, most bar staff pop a pound in the jar. In my experience Americans are the most demanding, and the worst tippers over here. They're probably all told they don't have to before they leave.