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I dream of the day I'm as mature and responsible as someone called Honest_Man#1. Seriously, #1!!!!111.

I made the name 4/5 years ago when I was 14ish. Would change it if I could but there you go. Nonetheless, I'm not a 30 year old manchild who finds stink bombs utterly hilarious, so a username doesn't really bother me too much.

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I made the name 4/5 years ago when I was 14ish. Would change it if I could but there you go. Nonetheless, I'm not a 30 year old manchild who finds stink bombs utterly hilarious, so a username doesn't really bother me too much.

Yes, you've told me already. i get it; you disapprove.

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I made the name 4/5 years ago when I was 14ish. Would change it if I could but there you go. Nonetheless, I'm not a 30 year old manchild who finds stink bombs utterly hilarious, so a username doesn't really bother me too much.

Don't worry, you'll find them hilarious again in your twenties.. :thumsup2

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I made the name 4/5 years ago when I was 14ish. Would change it if I could but there you go. Nonetheless, I'm not a 30 year old manchild who finds stink bombs utterly hilarious, so a username doesn't really bother me too much.

It's great being a manchild.

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Last weekend a pal drunkenly put on David Gray - Babylon in a pub, after countless dance songs being on. The atmosphere died and the dance floor emptied pretty much instantly. Amusing.

Edited by Fratelli
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It all comes down to this really when you're in a pub(lic house).

That said, I once let off a slow wee depressurisation fart thinking that it would be small and unnoticable. What I learned however is that it's impossible to do this without notice after visiting an all you can eat meat Brazilian style restaurant where you're given copious amounts of garlic beef. Horrendous. :(

Last summer me and a few guys i worked with went to Viva Brazil one lunchtime, before we all started a 9 hour shift.

One of the most uncomfortable shifts of my life.

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See if someone says to me "get one yourself". If I know them, I will, if I don't know them, then the usual take a quid for the jar sort of thing.

Tbh it only really applies to Christmas and busy times, but I don't exactly work in a busy, mainstream pub. Fwiw there's a lot of things in this thread that are so true and so very annoying to bar staff. My major gripe is those who want hot drinks at 8pm. FFS your mates have all ordered pints or G&T's why the hell do you want a fucking cappuccino!!

Might be an alki and can't drink? Cannae just no go out if you can't drink

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I remember being in a typically rough Brummie pub and it was my mate's birthday. We tried to put Altered Images' "Happy Birthday" on as a surprise but, despite us keep pressing the buttons over and over, nothing seemed to happen. So we gave up and resolved to ask the bar staff for our jukebox money back next time we needed a pint. Turns out though, it HAD worked. It had worked nine or ten times. By the time Grogan started singing it for the fifth time or so I could feel the entire pub's eyes staring at us with murderous intent.

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i mind a pub who's manager used to work every fri. sat and sun early, he'd go in about 2 hours before opening and simply feed the puggy with pound coins until it spat the jackpot (or two or 3 depending on how the puggy liked to payout), he wouldnt take ANYTHING less than the jackpot and the minute it finished its payout cycle he'd chuck playing it, he'd then replace whatever money he took out the till to play the machine, pocketed the profits (sometimes a lot sometimes f**k all) and then opened up as usual

cue all the friday, sat and sunday regulars feeding the thing trying for the jackpot and getting heehaw near it

Pub gets its cut off the puggy rental company, manager makes a wee or big profit everyweek and the punters are humped big time, sleekit b*****d

I've worked in a few places where it was fairly common for similar things to happen. Usually involved switching the machines off pre last orders and then putting them back on as soon as the pub was empty. In one place we had a float that was put together from tips, that was used solely for that purpose. Wasn't always successful but over the piece we were up. Friday or Saturday night we would always be keeping an eye on the puggies to try and judge which had taken the most cash or paid out the least.

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I can't believe i forgot to mention this before - me and the mrs were travelling vietnam a year ago and we met up with this girl i kinda knew and her bf for drinks. Think the first pub we were in the beer amounted to about 30p a go and i paid for the first bar we were in which was probably not much more than a pound, Second bar we were in we joked about how cheap the drink was in disbelief as it was only about 15 p a go, had a drink each so the tab would have been about 60p - decided we were going to go elsewhere and this friend of mines bf who we had just met (and thought he was a bit of a dork) got up to what we presumed to be pay for the round but when he came back he informed us that he had paid for his own and we had to go and pay for our drinks, he never even bought his mrs a drink

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I can't believe i forgot to mention this before - me and the mrs were travelling vietnam a year ago and we met up with this girl i kinda knew and her bf for drinks. Think the first pub we were in the beer amounted to about 30p a go and i paid for the first bar we were in which was probably not much more than a pound, Second bar we were in we joked about how cheap the drink was in disbelief as it was only about 15 p a go, had a drink each so the tab would have been about 60p - decided we were going to go elsewhere and this friend of mines bf who we had just met (and thought he was a bit of a dork) got up to what we presumed to be pay for the round but when he came back he informed us that he had paid for his own and we had to go and pay for our drinks, he never even bought his mrs a drink

I hope you drop kicked him in the face.

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I hope you drop kicked him in the face.

No it was kinda awkward as f**k coz we had been joking about how cheap it was minutes before and then he went and did it. Me and the mrs looked at each other like wtf?! His gf can do so much better i have no idea what she sees in him!

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I can't believe i forgot to mention this before - me and the mrs were travelling vietnam a year ago and we met up with this girl i kinda knew and her bf for drinks. Think the first pub we were in the beer amounted to about 30p a go and i paid for the first bar we were in which was probably not much more than a pound, Second bar we were in we joked about how cheap the drink was in disbelief as it was only about 15 p a go, had a drink each so the tab would have been about 60p - decided we were going to go elsewhere and this friend of mines bf who we had just met (and thought he was a bit of a dork) got up to what we presumed to be pay for the round but when he came back he informed us that he had paid for his own and we had to go and pay for our drinks, he never even bought his mrs a drink

Did you not say to him. Are you having a fucking laugh?

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Did you not say to him. Are you having a fucking laugh?

No it was just one of those moments we were too shocked to say anything. It took a while for it to click what had actually happened, his mrs was pretty shocked i think as well . Bumped into her last night thats how i remembered the story, not sure if she's still with the guy or not!!

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