C**** on a Train

[blackislekillie]

People joining the train at Irvine will raise the tone considerably and mitigate the cuntishness you've had to suffer from Ayr.

[SilverWolfe]

Train on the way home from work there and a guy gets on with his son and starts playing an episode of WWE full blast on his phone. It's an episode I have yet to watch and didn't have earphones to drown out the commentators so the c***s ruined it for me

[Fide]

2 hours ago, blackislekillie said:

People joining the train at Irvine will raise the tone considerably and mitigate the cuntishness you've had to suffer from Ayr.

I can't agree.  A quick stroll down the Rivergate mall on any day of the week will confirm that Irvine has, per capita, more ne'erdowells, reprobrates, neds and jakeballs than practically anywhere else in Scotland.

[jimmy boo]

So some daft bint proceeded to paint her face the whole way and really annoy me with the plastic click click click of her shite then look in her fucking stupid wee mirror thing whilst putting kirbys? In her stupid hair. After an hour of this pish she still looked like a bag of spanners.....grrrrrrr

[paranoid android]

I'll be a c**t on a train for the first time in ages tomorrow - no doubt I'll slaver some amount of pish in the process.

Apologies in advance.

[Swordfishtrombone]

Possibly the biggest c**t on a train I encountered was on a morning train from Falkirk to Edinburgh going to work, I found the one spare seat in a carriage at a table seat which a guy in his 40's but dressed like a hipster and reading GQ magzine had his feet on. I politely asked him to move his feet so I could sit down and he tutted at me and acted like a whiny child moving his feet from the seat. I realise this is small beer in terms of train cuntishness but I despised that guy. He did move his feet so I shoudn't complain too much.

[jimmy boo]

You should of just told your wife to wait until she gets home

There is no way Mrs Boo would accompany me to a St Mirren game. This bint looked about 20....obviously hard work and high maintenance for some poor sap.

[jimmy boo]

I'll be a c**t on a train for the first time in ages tomorrow - no doubt I'll slaver some amount of pish in the process.
Apologies in advance.

Keep us posted [emoji106]

[Fide]

4 hours ago, Swordfishtrombone said:

Possibly the biggest c**t on a train I encountered was on a morning train from Falkirk to Edinburgh going to work, I found the one spare seat in a carriage at a table seat which a guy in his 40's but dressed like a hipster and reading GQ magzine had his feet on. I politely asked him to move his feet so I could sit down and he tutted at me and acted like a whiny child moving his feet from the seat. I realise this is small beer in terms of train cuntishness but I despised that guy. He did move his feet so I shoudn't complain too much.

You have every right to complain.

He sounds like a gigantic c**t.

You should have garrotted him with his bow tie,

[BallochSonsFan]

On 04/07/2017 at 13:39, Shandon Par said:

2 women from Aviemore and a tub of hummus. Oh God.

Well hello.

 

I miss Jarvis

[senorsoupe]

Another c**t on train story from a few years ago.

Was in Montreal to see a MLS game, it was April so it was played indoors at the Olympic Stadium (also known as the Big Owe).  Anyways after the match most people went down to get on the Metro to head back downtown (the Big Owe being a ways away from downtown Montreal) and the train was packed.  Standing right next to us was a dad (Englishman) with his two kids who both had those plastic vuvuzela horn things and the kids proceeded to blow in the horn really fucking loudly and the shitty dad just ignored them playing on his phone, eventually he half heartedly told them to knock it off but they didn't and he went back to his phone.  

Was a very loud, and packed train ride

[paranoid android]

21 hours ago, jimmy boo said:

Keep us posted

Just alighted at Haymarket.

[GordonD]

23 hours ago, Swordfishtrombone said:

Possibly the biggest c**t on a train I encountered was on a morning train from Falkirk to Edinburgh going to work, I found the one spare seat in a carriage at a table seat which a guy in his 40's but dressed like a hipster and reading GQ magzine had his feet on. I politely asked him to move his feet so I could sit down and he tutted at me and acted like a whiny child moving his feet from the seat. I realise this is small beer in terms of train cuntishness but I despised that guy. He did move his feet so I shoudn't complain too much.

I'd have taken his magazine and wiped the seat before I sat down in case his shoes were muddy.

Well, I'd probably have chickened out but I'd have thought about it.

[jimmy boo]

36 minutes ago, paranoid android said:

Just alighted at Haymarket.

Was hoping for a bit more TBH.

[paranoid android]

31 minutes ago, jimmy boo said:

Was hoping for a bit more TBH.

That's what she said.

[ajwffc]

Possibly the biggest c**t on a train I encountered was on a morning train from Falkirk to Edinburgh going to work, I found the one spare seat in a carriage at a table seat which a guy in his 40's but dressed like a hipster and reading GQ magzine had his feet on. I politely asked him to move his feet so I could sit down and he tutted at me and acted like a whiny child moving his feet from the seat. I realise this is small beer in terms of train cuntishness but I despised that guy. He did move his feet so I shoudn't complain too much.

A kick or two in the shins as you sit down is the way to go

[ham89]

Much the same as others here, I'm also a bus w****r. Having said that, two particular stories stand out.

Once on th way home, was playing a game on my phone to pass the hours and some chavvy we fucker moved from the back of the bus to sit next to me. He started asking what I was playing, asked if he could have a shot of my phone and decided to tell me that he was #1 in the world at FIFA. This ranting lasted a while before I got fed up and got off the bus a fair few stops early. Walking was better than losing brain cells to that tool.

The second... Again, coming home one night, there were two schoolgirls sitting behind me. They must have been about 16/17 as they were talking about what to do after school. They got onto the topic of buying houses and both categorically decided that only idiots get mortgages and that they were going to get a job and save up enough to buy a house in cash. They were planning to do this by their early 20s apparently. Good fucking luck.

[Hillonearth]

30 minutes ago, ham89 said:

The second... Again, coming home one night, there were two schoolgirls sitting behind me. They must have been about 16/17 as they were talking about what to do after school. They got onto the topic of buying houses and both categorically decided that only idiots get mortgages and that they were going to get a job and save up enough to buy a house in cash. They were planning to do this by their early 20s apparently. Good fucking luck.

Deluded youth...I might have posted this on here at the time, but a while ago a couple of wee guys who had obviously just left school got on our train at Burnside, and were talking loudly about university. One had got into Glasgow IIRC, but the other one hadn't got the results for his first choice of Edinburgh and had got an offer from UWS.

"Yah, I'm not that bothered ackshly...when it comes down to it, Paisley's a much bigger university town than Edinburgh anyway...."

[sjc]

I took my bike on a train from Perth to Thurso back in 2000 when I cycled round the highlands and islands. There was a rack in a specific carriage for it though and I'm pretty sure I had to pay for it also.

[chomp my root]

Just remembered one, maybe 6 years or so ago, was getting the train from Helensburgh to Edinburgh (stayed on the slow train as the missus was picking me up at Uphall, a short cut for me) and was sitting in one of the jump seats by the doors as I was happy with the space and the solitude. 3 wee nyaffs came up to the door bit and were going to spark up their tabs. I told them they couldn't smoke on the train, they reckoned they could and objected to my viewpont, even siting that one of them had been in the Army and "fought for Queen and country"  It all got a bit shouty and confrontational but they went back into the main bit of the train. It was only when I was getting off and someone else came out that I smelt the smoke, the dirty minks had actually sat in the seats and just sparked up. I'm sure the folk in the main bit must have heard the shouting so I don't know why some of them told the phuqwits to stop. They did look either 'not right' or wired to the moon or both, I was disappointed in my fellow travellers more than the minks. The minks are still the cvnts though, apart from me sitting in the drop seat behind the drivers cab, I'm sure someone will find that cvntish behaviour.