NJ2 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 There’s a guy in our office who is absolutely stinking. Horrible smelly c**t. He claims that he showers at night and not in the morning, but even that is in doubt such is his musty foul stench. Even his clothes stink. He’s a jakeball. We call him ‘Smellator’. Unfortunately I sit near enough to him that I have to put up with appalling odour. He’s been talked to about it on a few occasions but never does anything about it. There’s no excuse for anyone to smell that bad and to not wash their clothes. He’s also comically inept at his job and is a hugely lazy b*****d. He has had his hours cut as much as the workplace can without actually firing him. He has an excuse for everything and is widely disliked. He gets talkings to on a daily basis. He is also a nosy b*****d and a massive bullshitter. I mention the two together because he often listens in to other folks’ conversations before butting in with some clearly made up nonsense. Just today he was claiming that there was an ancient law in Scotland whereby a man could shout ‘I marry you!’ to a woman and that was them legally married. He’s a tosser.^^^ seething that stinky his married the lassy he fancies 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 New guy in my work with the same name as me. Also taller than me and has a beard. Raging. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 There’s a guy in our office who is absolutely stinking. Horrible smelly c**t. He claims that he showers at night and not in the morning, but even that is in doubt such is his musty foul stench. Even his clothes stink. He’s a jakeball. We call him ‘Smellator’. Unfortunately I sit near enough to him that I have to put up with appalling odour. He’s been talked to about it on a few occasions but never does anything about it. There’s no excuse for anyone to smell that bad and to not wash their clothes. He’s also comically inept at his job and is a hugely lazy b*****d. He has had his hours cut as much as the workplace can without actually firing him. He has an excuse for everything and is widely disliked. He gets talkings to on a daily basis. He is also a nosy b*****d and a massive bullshitter. I mention the two together because he often listens in to other folks’ conversations before butting in with some clearly made up nonsense. Just today he was claiming that there was an ancient law in Scotland whereby a man could shout ‘I marry you!’ to a woman and that was them legally married. He’s a tosser.^^^ Smellator 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 1 hour ago, NJ2 said: ^^^ seething that stinky his married the lassy he fancies Never met his girlfriend. Poor lass though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Just now, Chicken Wing said: 3 hours ago, DA Baracus said: There’s a guy in our office who is absolutely stinking. Horrible smelly c**t. He claims that he showers at night and not in the morning, but even that is in doubt such is his musty foul stench. Even his clothes stink. He’s a jakeball. We call him ‘Smellator’. Unfortunately I sit near enough to him that I have to put up with appalling odour. He’s been talked to about it on a few occasions but never does anything about it. There’s no excuse for anyone to smell that bad and to not wash their clothes. He’s also comically inept at his job and is a hugely lazy b*****d. He has had his hours cut as much as the workplace can without actually firing him. He has an excuse for everything and is widely disliked. He gets talkings to on a daily basis. He is also a nosy b*****d and a massive bullshitter. I mention the two together because he often listens in to other folks’ conversations before butting in with some clearly made up nonsense. Just today he was claiming that there was an ancient law in Scotland whereby a man could shout ‘I marry you!’ to a woman and that was them legally married. He’s a tosser. ^^^ Smellator I'll fight you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 I'll fight youRuel St, bring yer Persil 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 2 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: Every person promoted in my department has been told to apply for a job before it was advertised. They had a youngster on work experience who had a picture on the wall for winning an award. Then they went through the charade of bringing in 20 interviewees to go through the motions for a permanent position. Work experience person got it so now everyone thinks it's a fix and rightly so seen as the person interviewing them was their mentor for the next few years.This is why I went mental last page or so on here. Been denied promotion twice despite being told I was superior in skill level and work ethic. The job is good but this sort of thing just creates problems. Another colleague turned down was also told the same thing. It happens all over I guess. Edit: oh yeah three of the four promoted have lunch or get a lift from the supervisor. Pretty sure it's just a coincidence. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Just now, Rugster said: What, it was just once likes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 3 minutes ago, MixuFixit said: Who was it who accidentally emailed the stinking guy in his office when he meant to email someone else saying how much he stunk? What ended up happening? @Adam 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 One of my colleagues was recently promoted to (what seems like) a pretty stressful and thankless position. Found out last week that he’d been off ill for a week. Died on Friday, don’t think he had even hit 60. Bit of a fucker to think that some folk don’t even get to retire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 13 minutes ago, Chicken Wing said: Ruel St, bring yer Persil I use Bold cunto! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 I had a boss who would gather us all together for regular talks on the importance of personal hygiene. He was a fucking crackpot who cleaned his teeth six times a day and sat at his desk flossing, so I didn't take it too personally. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 1 hour ago, mathematics said: One of my colleagues was recently promoted to (what seems like) a pretty stressful and thankless position. Found out last week that he’d been off ill for a week. Died on Friday, don’t think he had even hit 60. Bit of a fucker to think that some folk don’t even get to retire. Probably wouldn't have got a final salary pension anyway, poor b*****d. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 I had a boss who would gather us all together for regular talks on the importance of personal hygiene. He was a fucking crackpot who cleaned his teeth six times a day and sat at his desk flossing, so I didn't take it too personally.Was your boss Peter Lawwell? I also note you said you “had a boss”...Bit shy of a wash and spray of deo Dave?? [emoji848] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 18 minutes ago, 8MileBU said: I also note you said you “had a boss”... I murdered him with his own toothbrush. That Celtic letter is something else. How bad must your BO be that an entire group of people have complained enough times about having to sit near you, in the open air, that the club felt that they had to say something? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 10 hours ago, Dele said: @Adam Nothing actually. The guy took a few days off, then came back and said nothing else about it. I still speak to him, but he’s just glossed over the whole incident. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 21 minutes ago, Adam said: Nothing actually. The guy took a few days off, then came back and said nothing else about it. I still speak to him, but he’s just febreezed over the whole incident. FTFY 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 10 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: That Celtic letter is something else. How bad must your BO be that an entire group of people have complained enough times about having to sit near you, in the open air, that the club felt that they had to say something? Not just people, Celtic supporters. Must be ultra bad. Also spot the name of the person who wrote it. Any guesses who he's named after? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oscar P Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 1 hour ago, GordonD said: Not just people, Celtic supporters. Must be ultra bad. Also spot the name of the person who wrote it. Any guesses who he's named after? The Beatles? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 The office building I work in has a new receptionist after the previous one retired after 20 years service. This new guy annoys me. This new guy enjoys puns in the building wide emails. He started out very professional and fine but....well...these are his comments on the chain emails that he's forwarded this week. First - he forwards on an email about mandatory fire training. We regularly get offered daft perks such as complementary therapy. Nobody goes. Then this came in today and I don't even know where to begin. Subject matter isn't work related or of any importance and the puns? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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