Cruel things you do/have done.

[btb]

Just about to roust my student son (22-y-o & fifth year at Uni) out of bed round noonish!

In my defence I was up at 7:30 to go to the shops where I got his breakfast lunch (slice sausage & rolls).

Edit - two days running on the rousting - different brunch.

Edited January 10 by btb

[scottsdad]

When I was at school there was a boy nicknamed Stooshy. I was extremely cruel to him once. 

Someone had brought their dad's bongo magazines into the school. This was the 90s, and the mags were at least 10 years old. Pages stuck together, the works. Grotty as hell, but this was pre-internet so folk just had to make do. 

Anyway, in our Techy Drawing class it was time to pass them on. I had had them for a couple of days. I handed then to Stooshy when the teaching assistant was out of the room. 

She came back in, and as she walked past me I said, quietly enough for her to hear, "Check Stooshy's bag". A mate of mine heard me and repeated it. Then a couple of other boys did it too.

Stooshy went white. I mean, utterly utterly white. His face gave him away. The TA (who was actually very sound) went over to him and asked if he had any objections to her looking in his bag. He shook his head. And then she looked. 

She said something like "I'll be right back", left with the bag and returned a minute later. She handed Stooshy his bag back, sans jazz mags. 

To this day, no idea why I did that. 

[btb]

I nominate this as an entry to the Great Posts Thread further down the page - if I could I'd give it two likes!

[RuMoore]

36 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

When I was at school there was a boy nicknamed Stooshy. I was extremely cruel to him once. 

Someone had brought their dad's bongo magazines into the school. This was the 90s, and the mags were at least 10 years old. Pages stuck together, the works. Grotty as hell, but this was pre-internet so folk just had to make do. 

Anyway, in our Techy Drawing class it was time to pass them on. I had had them for a couple of days. I handed then to Stooshy when the teaching assistant was out of the room. 

She came back in, and as she walked past me I said, quietly enough for her to hear, "Check Stooshy's bag". A mate of mine heard me and repeated it. Then a couple of other boys did it too.

Stooshy went white. I mean, utterly utterly white. His face gave him away. The TA (who was actually very sound) went over to him and asked if he had any objections to her looking in his bag. He shook his head. And then she looked. 

She said something like "I'll be right back", left with the bag and returned a minute later. She handed Stooshy his bag back, sans jazz mags. 

To this day, no idea why I did that. 

I think you've oversold your monstrosity on this one. 

That's probably the calmest instance of picking on someone I've ever read about. Did you go to school in some Disney comedy? 

[pozbaird]

I took my brother to a Hamilton Accies v St Mirren game once.

[tamthebam]

As teenage tearaways (not really) we thought it was funny to smoke bomb pensioners playing bowls at Blackford BC. We scattered and hid in a secret place laughing away evilly but a mate's 8 year old wee brother got caught and got into shite for it. Fortunately he never grassed. 

[Richey Edwards]

I threw someone's bike helmet down a portaloo for no reason other than I thought it would be funny.

[Leith Green]

Not me, but a story from my late Dads youth.

His auntie stayed in Alexander Drive, just off Gorgie Rd, and at that time she worked part time at the Roxy Cinema just across from her house.

One night when it was pouring with rain, my dad and his mate were messing about in the cinema and decided to go up the roof to watch the people queuing up outside for the next feature (which was common back then).

As you might have guessed, they then wondered if they could get away with pishing on the people below.....................

Funny as f**k, and nobody except the two wee scamps had any idea it had happened !

 

[tamthebam]

1 minute ago, Leith Green said:

Not me, but a story from my late Dads youth.

His auntie stayed in Alexander Drive, just off Gorgie Rd, and at that time she worked part time at the Roxy Cinema just across from her house.

One night when it was pouring with rain, my dad and his mate were messing about in the cinema and decided to go up the roof to watch the people queuing up outside for the next feature (which was common back then).

As you might have guessed, they then wondered if they could get away with pishing on the people below.....................

Funny as f**k, and nobody except the two wee scamps had any idea it had happened !

 

John Lennon used to go to that cinema as a kid when he was on holiday in Edinburgh.. Give piss a chance.... 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Kicked a (live) tortoise down Mitchell Crescent. Think it eventually ended up in the River Lossie (off to the left of this picture).

Speaking of bongo mags, the trees on the hill in the photo below were a wonderful hunting ground back in the day. Robert Bagnall's hoose with the white door was where we would go with them.

Getting all teary eyed just thinking of them. 

[Florentine_Pogen]

Never realised that there are some very, very dodgy basturts on here.

@scottsdad outing himself as a professional level grass, given that he is currently Cheatfinder General at whichever School For Scandal he currently works at, as well as Lee Wallacing his wee schoolchum back in the day over a scudmag. Shocking behaviour.................

@Melanius Mullarkay admitting to being a Turtle Torturer has really rocked me to the core. I've just @scottsdadded him to the SSPCA.

Pair of wrong 'uns.

 

Edited January 9 by Florentine_Pogen

[Melanius Mullarkey]

16 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Never realised that there are some very, very dodgy basturts on here.

@scottsdad outing himself as a professional level grass, given that he is currently Cheatfinder General at whichever School For Scandal he currently works at, as well as Lee Wallacing his wee schoolchum back in the day over a scudmag. Shocking behaviour.................

@Melanius Mullarkay admitting to being a Turtle Torturer has really rocked me to the core. I've just @scottsdadded him to the SSPCA.

Pair of wrong 'uns.

 

Ive just googled mapped another couple of the old bongo bush hunting grounds in Elgin but they've been trimmed back unfortunately.

 

[coprolite]

I used to work at a chain pub that had staff dress as a character for Kids' parties, in a really hot, uncomfortable big costume with a hard plastic head.

One Sunday one of the KPs came in about 2 hours late for his shift. He confided in me that him and his pals had been up all night, he'd had about ten eccies and was having a really rough come down. 

At about the time he 'd finished telling me this the manager came through asking for someone to go in the suit, so i volunteered him. 

It was a right wee shite's party that day and he spent about twenty minutes being jumped on, punched and kicked by primary school kids while cold sweating, shaking and generally despairing at the futility of his own existence. Lol. 

[tinkerbelle]

1 hour ago, Leith Green said:

Not me, but a story from my late Dads youth.

His auntie stayed in Alexander Drive, just off Gorgie Rd, and at that time she worked part time at the Roxy Cinema just across from her house.

One night when it was pouring with rain, my dad and his mate were messing about in the cinema and decided to go up the roof to watch the people queuing up outside for the next feature (which was common back then).

As you might have guessed, they then wondered if they could get away with pishing on the people below.....................

Funny as f**k, and nobody except the two wee scamps had any idea it had happened !

 

I used to live in Alexander Drive, my auld man still does. The Roxy had changed to a bingo hall. One night a few of us got some old clothes and made a dummy out of them. When the bingo was emptying we threw the dummy on the ground then proceeded to kick the shit out of it much to the distress of all the old biddys passing by. 
On other days we would take it onto the roof of the banana flats and throw it down to the ground whilst screaming as loud as we could.

guess we were just twats back then! Was fun though.

[Derry Alli]

7 hours ago, scottsdad said:

When I was at school there was a boy nicknamed Stooshy. I was extremely cruel to him once. 

Someone had brought their dad's bongo magazines into the school. This was the 90s, and the mags were at least 10 years old. Pages stuck together, the works. Grotty as hell, but this was pre-internet so folk just had to make do. 

Anyway, in our Techy Drawing class it was time to pass them on. I had had them for a couple of days. I handed then to Stooshy when the teaching assistant was out of the room. 

She came back in, and as she walked past me I said, quietly enough for her to hear, "Check Stooshy's bag". A mate of mine heard me and repeated it. Then a couple of other boys did it too.

Stooshy went white. I mean, utterly utterly white. His face gave him away. The TA (who was actually very sound) went over to him and asked if he had any objections to her looking in his bag. He shook his head. And then she looked. 

She said something like "I'll be right back", left with the bag and returned a minute later. She handed Stooshy his bag back, sans jazz mags. 

To this day, no idea why I did that. 

I'm sorry, I've said this before but grasses get red dots. I haven't supplied you with one but I see where your #GrassingGratification comes from.

I must inform you, the tut I let out caused my dog to turn and look at me. He was asleep. I hope you're proud of yourself.

[Mark Connolly]

One of my aliases phoned @Bobby Skidmarks's boss...

['WellDel]

11 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

Ive just googled mapped another couple of the old bongo bush hunting grounds in Elgin but they've been trimmed back unfortunately.

 

I think it's fair to say that, compared to the ones you would see back in your bongo mag hunting days, most bushes seem to be a lot trimmer nowadays.

[Swarley]

I used to work on a pig farm when I was a teenager. One of the tasks was to teeth and tail newborn piglets. For the teeth you'd use a pair of clippers (similar to wire cutters) and cut the front needle teeth and for tails you'd use a pair of pliers (similar to long nosed pliers) and twist. I hated it, made me sick to the stomach and I quit after a couple of months.

[The Golden God]

Was leaving DisneyLand and there was obviously massive queues. There was these kids about 10 years old who kept pushing past people, no sign of any parents or anything so not like they were just catching up. The queue snaked round and 2 were coming up behind me and I moved at the last second and blocked them like prime Senna. They kept trying to squeeze by but being the mature adult I am I stood my ground and they were stuck behind us for the next half an hour till we got on the monorail thing. They were we c***s, I’d do it again. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

2 hours ago, Swarley said:

I used to work on a pig farm when I was a teenager. One of the tasks was to teeth and tail newborn piglets. For the teeth you'd use a pair of clippers (similar to wire cutters) and cut the front needle teeth and for tails you'd use a pair of pliers (similar to long nosed pliers) and twist. I hated it, made me sick to the stomach and I quit after a couple of months.

Did it take you 2 months to decide if you liked it or not?