TxRover Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 Currently experiencing a Vauxhall Mokka 6-speed. High point: The backup camera and its generated vertical image. Low points: The rest. An absolute POS. The door is in the wrong spot, too far forward, as every single person trying it out has agreed. The shifter is like stirring porridge and jerks and shudders as you apply or remove throttle. Storage is minimal, the control scheme is bizarre, the SatNav is, well, confused and the instrumentation is poor. The seats are uncomfortable, with a too short lower cushion and difficult to adjust. It is significantly worse than any vehicle I’ve hired since a 1995 Dodge Neon or a 1990 Chrysler LeBaron. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 @scottsdad 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jives Miguel Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 Had a courtesy Hyundai i10 for a few months. The gear stick on this c**t. The constant, daily battle of trying to put it in reverse, a minimum of 5 attempts everytime to actually get it there and not 4th gear. I genuinely snapped one time and sat in the car screaming at it like a lunatic one time. The struggle to get it in the right slot moving down a gear. Absolutely horrendous experience 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 11 hours ago, TxRover said: Currently experiencing a Vauxhall Mokka 6-speed. High point: The backup camera and its generated vertical image. Low points: The rest. An absolute POS. The door is in the wrong spot, too far forward, as every single person trying it out has agreed. The shifter is like stirring porridge and jerks and shudders as you apply or remove throttle. Storage is minimal, the control scheme is bizarre, the SatNav is, well, confused and the instrumentation is poor. The seats are uncomfortable, with a too short lower cushion and difficult to adjust. It is significantly worse than any vehicle I’ve hired since a 1995 Dodge Neon or a 1990 Chrysler LeBaron. On the Mokka, when you open the driver’s door and sit in - does the lever that controls the steering wheel height and reach stab into your left thigh? My brother had a hired Vauxhall Astra and that was a huge design fault on it. The shite that he is never told me, and as an exercise, he said to me ‘have a seat in, see what you think’. I get in and nearly impale my left leg on that lever. Please tell me Vauxhall have at least fixed that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 When I was in the civil service, we used hire cars a lot (and taxis). Usually things like a Honda Jazz or a Corsa. One day my hire car arrived at the office and it was a sporty wee 2-seater Audi convertible. Tremendous fun, driving down to the Borders in that, taking the twists and turns. Worst was a Kia Cee'd. Crippled my back. Not had a hire car in ages though... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistledo Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 I had this before, I'm pretty sure in this pale jobby brown I had a nice car, but was doing a lot of miles with work so got a hire car and this is what turned up. I was a very young lad, who was quite into cars so this was a kick in the balls, what's worse is I glanced over at a lassie while sat at lights forgetting this is what I was driving, she gave me and the car a pitiful look and drove off. It was also like a 70bhp 1.2 pile of utter crap. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 Had a Nissan Juke last week in Belfast. So sluggish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 I’ve told this story elsewhere on here before but I think it merits a second outing. South of France, 20+ years ago we went on a big family holiday. Cost of hiring a VW minibus was extortionate so we ended up split across 3 hired Peugeot 106s. Got to the villa, unloaded, dropped the wife and the boy and I said I’d take the car to go fill it up. Forward thinker that I am, I checked which side the petrol cap was on so when I got to the filling station I didn’t make a tit of myself. Got there, filled up, into the kiosk: ”pump trois, s’il vous plaît. Et, avez vous un carte de la règion? Ah, bon, merçi!’ Walked back out across the forecourt all chuffed. I had successfully negotiated my way to get petrol, hadn’t got lost, conversed fluently with the locals, hadn’t made a tit of myself, mission accomplished. Opened the car door, jumped in. Then 5 seconds of bewilderment as someone had stolen the steering wheel! Except of course, this being France, the car was left hand drive and I had just jumped in the passenger seat. Sheepishly got out and walked round to the other door in front of the sniggering camionneurs…. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 Opel Corsa car looked like it had been driven by drivers challenged to scrape every piece of body work on the car. Don’t think I ever took it higher than 3rd gear. It was particularly potent in 1st driving round roundabouts close to the red line. It survived its crash with a high kerb divider thing and didn’t roll too far when I forgot to put its handbrake on. Great wee car, perfect for Italy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 30 minutes ago, alta-pete said: I’ve told this story elsewhere on here before but I think it merits a second outing. South of France, 20+ years ago we went on a big family holiday. Cost of hiring a VW minibus was extortionate so we ended up split across 3 hired Peugeot 106s. Got to the villa, unloaded, dropped the wife and the boy and I said I’d take the car to go fill it up. Forward thinker that I am, I checked which side the petrol cap was on so when I got to the filling station I didn’t make a tit of myself. Got there, filled up, into the kiosk: ”pump trois, s’il vous plaît. Et, avez vous un carte de la règion? Ah, bon, merçi!’ Walked back out across the forecourt all chuffed. I had successfully negotiated my way to get petrol, hadn’t got lost, conversed fluently with the locals, hadn’t made a tit of myself, mission accomplished. Opened the car door, jumped in. Then 5 seconds of bewilderment as someone had stolen the steering wheel! Except of course, this being France, the car was left hand drive and I had just jumped in the passenger seat. Sheepishly got out and walked round to the other door in front of the sniggering camionneurs…. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strichener Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 (edited) Just back from holiday where I had ordered a Ford Focus Estate or similar. Hire desk offered me a Peugeot Rifter and when I told them this was in no way similar to an actual car, they offered me a Citroen Berlingo. Supervisor eventually provided me with a Skoda Scala. Everything was great with it other than the supplied it to me a 10pm at night with the inside of the windows dirty so that cars driving towards you basically turned the windscreen into what looked like the second coming of Jesus with a harem of angels. Also no scoosher fluid. Edited August 1 by strichener 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 15 minutes ago, strichener said: Just back from holiday where I had ordered a Ford Focus Estate or similar. Hire desk offered me a Peugeot Rifter and when I told them this was in no way similar to an actual car, they offered me a Citroen Berlingo. My dad had a Berlingo for a few years. I had the misfortune of driving it once. A clunky, slow pile of shite it was. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 Hired a suzuki vitara @Alert Mongoosein Zante. When hammering down some mountain road in pouring rain it soon became apparent that it was proper f**ked. It would randomly lock up and slide. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 3 hours ago, scottsdad said: Worst was a Kia Cee'd. Crippled my back. Grahame's coming to get you.. As I've mostly driven crap cars any hire car has usually been a step up. You do get ones where the previous hirer has been a smoker and there's a lingering smell of fags despite having been valeted. I got to drive a pool car down to Jedburgh - it was a Vauxhall Vectra and I was driving a Nissan Micra at the time so it was like going from a row boat to a superyacht. In another job there were three pool cars- two old Astras and a newer one. The worst Astra was the one someone had left a salmon in over a weekend and despite three cleans it still ponged. It was the only car being driven about Edinburgh in October with all the windows down. My mate got a courtesy car from a garage - it was a 20 year old Fiat Panda (with rally lights for some reason). When his car was scrapped he offered them £50 for it and they accepted. He sold it for £100.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thistle_do_nicely Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 (edited) 2 hours ago, alta-pete said: I’ve told this story elsewhere on here before but I think it merits a second outing. South of France, 20+ years ago we went on a big family holiday. Cost of hiring a VW minibus was extortionate so we ended up split across 3 hired Peugeot 106s. Got to the villa, unloaded, dropped the wife and the boy and I said I’d take the car to go fill it up. Forward thinker that I am, I checked which side the petrol cap was on so when I got to the filling station I didn’t make a tit of myself. Got there, filled up, into the kiosk: ”pump trois, s’il vous plaît. Et, avez vous un carte de la règion? Ah, bon, merçi!’ Walked back out across the forecourt all chuffed. I had successfully negotiated my way to get petrol, hadn’t got lost, conversed fluently with the locals, hadn’t made a tit of myself, mission accomplished. Opened the car door, jumped in. Then 5 seconds of bewilderment as someone had stolen the steering wheel! Except of course, this being France, the car was left hand drive and I had just jumped in the passenger seat. Sheepishly got out and walked round to the other door in front of the sniggering camionneurs…. I mind being in a hire car on holiday, as a passenger, left hand drive as well. I was sat in the front. Pal was driving, went about the island and after about 30 minutes of driving, he parked up so we could go a stoat about. As soon as he parked up I literally sat, absentmindedly, and my left arm through sheer muscle memory went to the handbrake to put it on. Except I literally grabbed thin air because the handbrake on mine was in a different position, so I was basically just miming it. My pal clocked my confused face after doing it and burst out laughing, tbf I chuckled at it and all, one of those things, ha! Edited August 1 by Thistle_do_nicely 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 16 hours ago, alta-pete said: @scottsdad Beat me to it, a-p. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 Flew down to Heathrow a few years ago for three days visiting my brother who was at that time living in Berkshire. Had done the trip many times before, and every time I just booked the smallest, entry level class of car. Every time though, we got a Fiesta or Polo, something in the ‘second bottom’ tier. The last time though we got a Fiat 500. Petrol, manual. I loved that wee thing. Best hire car I’ve ever had* *For three days scooting around - fcuk living with it 365 days a year. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 5 hours ago, strichener said: Just back from holiday where I had ordered a Ford Focus Estate or similar. Hire desk offered me a Peugeot Rifter and when I told them this was in no way similar to an actual car, they offered me a Citroen Berlingo. Supervisor eventually provided me with a Skoda Scala. Everything was great with it other than the supplied it to me a 10pm at night with the inside of the windows dirty so that cars driving towards you basically turned the windscreen into what looked like the second coming of Jesus with a harem of angels. Also no scoosher fluid. Hire companies must have taken on about 90% of the Berlingos produced in mainland Europe in the 2000s and 2010s. It seemed every time you hired a car, you were offered it as a "suitable alternative" at every company, regardless of what class you had actually booked 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted August 1 Author Share Posted August 1 7 hours ago, pozbaird said: On the Mokka, when you open the driver’s door and sit in - does the lever that controls the steering wheel height and reach stab into your left thigh? My brother had a hired Vauxhall Astra and that was a huge design fault on it. The shite that he is never told me, and as an exercise, he said to me ‘have a seat in, see what you think’. I get in and nearly impale my left leg on that lever. Please tell me Vauxhall have at least fixed that. The car didn’t attempt a stabbing, but instead hammered my back getting in because the B pillar is inches too far forward. So, technically, they fixed the issue…but in true Vauxhall tradition, they replaced it with another. I just returned it, and the poor lad checking it in couldn’t believe the worn off paint from the wiper and had me start it up and switch on the wipers…then spent the next minute doubled over laughing at Vauxhall quality. He then knocked £45 off the rental cost for that particular matter. Solid chap. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spyro Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 (edited) 9 hours ago, Iain said: Had a Nissan Juke last week in Belfast. So sluggish. Put it in sport mode, turns it into a completely different car and you get around the same mpg if you drive it properly. Hate them but have to admit, it was actually ok to drive once I found the buttons to set it up properly and switch off all the driver aids. The one I had on hire had some sort of "active drive" ... It's in the menu somewhere and once you switch it off it stops the horrible, dead feeling through the streering 7 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Hired a suzuki vitara @Alert Mongoosein Zante. When hammering down some mountain road in pouring rain it soon became apparent that it was proper f**ked. It would randomly lock up and slide. Probably the same one we hired back in 2001...and it was a wreck back then too! Edited August 1 by Spyro 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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