welshbairn Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said: Literally none of these steps are required by a functioning adult. Do you mean they should fuckaround with their phone instead? They should raise the £45 limit on card tapping to £100 imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, bennett said: Search for card, figure out which way card goes in, get the pin wrong, repeat a few times. I'm usually standing behind trying not to look pissed off, face masks help with hiding this. Hand over some cash, get your change and off you go. Unless it's a woman, in which case the payment procedure is: 1) Look astonished that the cashier wants payment for the goods. 2) Open handbag, search for purse. 3) Take out purse. 4) Close handbag. 5) Open purse, take out money. 6) Close purse, open handbag, put purse in. 7) Close handbag. 8 ) Hand money to cashier. 9) Accept change from cashier. 10) Open handbag, search for purse which was put in there five seconds ago. 11) Take out purse. 12) Close handbag. 13) Open purse, put change in. 14) Close purse, open handbag, put purse in. 15) Close handbag. Edited November 15, 2020 by GordonD 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 The worst kind of shopper is women who unload a trolley and pack their bags with one hand because they can't put down their fucking handbag. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 19 minutes ago, GordonD said: Unless it's a woman, in which case the payment procedure is: 1) Look astonished that the cashier wants payment for the goods. 2) Open handbag, search for purse. 3) Take out purse. 4) Close handbag. 5) Open purse, take out money. 6) Close purse, open handbag, put purse in. 7) Close handbag. 8 ) Hand money to cashier. 9) Accept change from cashier. 10) Open handbag, search for purse which was put in there five seconds ago. 11) Take out purse. 12) Close handbag. 13) Open purse, put change in. 14) Close purse, open handbag, put purse in. 15) Close handbag. Curious to see if @The_Kincardine has an opinion on the gender-specific description in this post 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Fell down the fucking stairs and did this 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 1 minute ago, Raidernation said: Fell down the fucking stairs and did this Is that a zip? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 That looks nasty, hope your ok. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 9 minutes ago, Raidernation said: Fell down the fucking stairs and did this Behind on your health insurance? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 22 minutes ago, Raidernation said: Fell down the fucking stairs and did this That'll be painful when they ping those staples out, all the best. Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 24 minutes ago, Raidernation said: Fell down the fucking stairs and did this Judging by the hair colour and the time of year you can hide that under one of these.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 26 minutes ago, Raidernation said: Fell down the fucking stairs and did this Jesus Christ, auld yin. Hope you're feeling better soon. Are you sure the doctor didn't re-assemble you from the bodies of criminals, wastrels, and fans of certain Glasgow-based football clubs? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 44 minutes ago, Raidernation said: Fell down the fucking stairs and did this At least your on a staple diet. Just kidding, hope you are better soon 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Fell down the fucking stairs and did this Sare yin! Hope it’s not too painful mate, unlucky it’s just a bit late for Halloween as well 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 51 minutes ago, Raidernation said: Fell down the fucking stairs and did this Ooft, sair yin. At least it was the front of your dish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Jesus min! Hope you're not needing to get through an airport security with that anytime soon.Also don't walk under a magnet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 7 hours ago, Dee Man said: You can get TV remote apps for your phone. I used to hilariously change our TV over with my phone while the wife had the remote beside her. Aye, it's not so easy doing it with broken arms... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 1 hour ago, jamamafegan said: In fairness, many OAP’s aren’t fully functioning adults. I remember working the till during my B&Q days and old folk would do exactly as Bennett has described. Fumbling about for the card, putting it in back to front, forgetting their pin. You would just prefer it if they handed over a note. The worst was when they wanted to pay by cheque. Laughable. When I worked at the Post Office, there were a surprising (to me, anyway) number of elderly folk who would openly tell the cashiers their PIN. They'd just hand you their card and expect you to insert it into the reader and type in their number. As a naive newbie, I'd insist they did it themselves, but it soon became obvious that it was more secure for us to memorise their numbers than for them to repeat it aloud to themselves several times next to a queue including the local junkies. Still think they were taking the piss, though..."alright, that's your card inserted, now you just type in your PIN...no, that's not it, dear...alright, OK, I'll do it...there you go...now we just need to wait for it to say the transaction's been approved...no, you can't take the card out yet...don't touch the card, dear...no, I'll tell you when you can...if you take it out it's going to...OH FOR f**k'S SAKE, NOW WE HAVE TO START AGAIN!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superbigal Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 I've seen some 5 packs of crisps in the shops. The robbing b*****ds are charging the same price as a 6 pack. Some crisps only have 73 calories in a packet.No fuckingg wonder at net weight 13g 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Szamo's_Ammo Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 Get well soon, thoughts and prayers etc @Raidernation but can everyone please stop quoting that horrific, graphic photograph? Thanks so much. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottmcleanscontacts Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 People who pay with cash at a self scan. Trying to push their crumpled fivers into the machine, absolute shambles. Or feeding hundreds of coins in one by one. Nah that's what the self scan is for. The days you're feeling tight or skint you can get the coins emptied straight into it without the checkout folk needing to count it.It's a revelation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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