endieinreekie Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Didnt you feel sorry for me about this when i did it lol To my shame. I did. Now I know how it feels 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Have been farting away merrily all morning. Sadly I didn't heed the warning signs and my most recent fart ended with something slightly more solid. Cue the waddle of shame to the nearest bog. Thankfully there was no underwear coverage. Did you actually fart out a solid jobby? That's superb work if you did!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endieinreekie Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Did you actually fart out a solid jobby? That's superb work if you did!! It wasn't solid, it was distinctly lacking in solidity. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endieinreekie Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 At least you didnt have any underwear on I did have underwear on, but thankfully the skitter didn't reach it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Middleton Mouse Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Went in to pay off a bit of my credit card bill and was told my card hadn't been activated despite the fact I've used it twice. Apparently they can't deal with the problem at the branch and I have to ring up the credit card hotline. Why do things like this have to be so ****ing complicated. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Went in to pay off a bit of my credit card bill and was told my card hadn't been activated despite the fact I've used it twice. Apparently they can't deal with the problem at the branch and I have to ring up the credit card hotline. Why do things like this have to be so ****ing complicated. Royal Wánk of Scotland by any chance? They're an utter shower of shite! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Went in to pay off a bit of my credit card bill and was told my card hadn't been activated despite the fact I've used it twice. Apparently they can't deal with the problem at the branch and I have to ring up the credit card hotline. Why do things like this have to be so ****ing complicated. Royal Wánk of Scotland by any chance? They're an utter shower of shite! Funnily enough, I experienced the same issue but if you have online banking you can just make a payment to your card/view your bill online before the bill is due. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 (edited) I complain about my computer being slow a lot, but it's been taking the piss the past few days. It runs fine for the first minute, and then every thirty seconds it decides to pause for a few, and then resume. Everything seems to load around half the pace it did a few days ago. Changing from Firefox to Chrome to see if that helped any, and it's made it worse because it's not letting me install Ad Blocker. Worst of all, whenever I try and open iTunes, it opens fine, and as soon a I click away it tells me the program isn't responding. I can't even play Football Manager any more! Edited July 1, 2010 by Smurph 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Decency Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I complain about my computer being slow a lot, but it's been taking the piss the past few days. It runs fine for the first minute, and then every thirty seconds it decides to pause for a few, and then resume. Everything seems to load around half the pace it did a few days ago. Changing from Firefox to Chrome to see if that helped any, and it's made it worse because it's not letting me install Ad Blocker. Worst of all, whenever I try and open iTunes, it opens fine, and as soon a I click away it tells me the program isn't responding. I can't even play Football Manager any more! I'd recommend running an AV and anti-malware scan. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ad Lib Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Sounds like your CPU is getting throttled by processes. Check for malware and read a bit about regedit and the start-up directories to see if unnecessary programs are being started up via the Windows Current Version Run subfolder. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Sounds like your CPU is getting throttled by processes. Check for malware and read a bit about regedit and the start-up directories to see if unnecessary programs are being started up via the Windows Current Version Run subfolder. That doesn't come in an English version by any chance? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I'd recommend running an AV and anti-malware scan. I've just tried, and after ten minutes the pages still haven't loaded... Sounds like your CPU is getting throttled by processes. Check for malware and read a bit about regedit and the start-up directories to see if unnecessary programs are being started up via the Windows Current Version Run subfolder. I don't know what the things in bold are. The computer's refused to download updates for about a year now via Windows Update Installer. Every time when I've logged on, it says "Windows can update now" or something similar. Whenever I click on it, it never works. Same as when "Fix computer problems" comes up. I've had my mum's partners brother come up, who knows a bit about computers, but he couldn't manage to fix it either. We tried to do the system restore thing, but it only goes back to around a week ago. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I'm going hillwalking and it's meant to piss it down from now til eternity. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I'm going hillwalking and it's meant to piss it down from now til eternity. It's fucking dark out there as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Decency Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Sounds like your CPU is getting throttled by processes. Check for malware and read a bit about regedit and the start-up directories to see if unnecessary programs are being started up via the Windows Current Version Run subfolder. Probably gazillions of svchost.exe entries in the process list! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ad Lib Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I've just tried, and after ten minutes the pages still haven't loaded... I don't know what the things in bold are. The computer's refused to download updates for about a year now via Windows Update Installer. Every time when I've logged on, it says "Windows can update now" or something similar. Whenever I click on it, it never works. Same as when "Fix computer problems" comes up. I've had my mum's partners brother come up, who knows a bit about computers, but he couldn't manage to fix it either. We tried to do the system restore thing, but it only goes back to around a week ago. First thing to check is your Startup folder (click the windows start icon on the taskbar, browse the programs list, open the folder "Startup" and see if anything's in there. Anything in that folder will run every time you log-in to Windows. I have yet to find a program that it is necessary to have in there for conventional PC use. If anything's there and it's non-essential, remove it from the folder and it shouldn't load up in future. "Regedit" is a little more complicated, but is usually where you find a lot of the sources of rogue processes slowing down your PC. The Registry is something you have to be careful with as it contains a lot of essential system files, but viruses and malware in particular can also throw a few spanners in the works there. To open regedit, you just go to the start menu and search "regedit" and open it, or in XP go Start-->Run then enter regedit. The relevant folders are the "LOCAL MACHINE" and "CURRENT USER" ones. Browse through the following subfolders in each directory: SOFTWARE--> MICROSOFT --> WINDOWS --> CURRENT VERSION --> RUN. There should be a list of processes there (for example you might have msmsgr as one, which is what loads up Windows Live Messenger automatically on start-up). If things have daft names and you're sure they're not necessary for loading at the start-up, you can delete entries but BE CAREFUL. That should reduce the backlog of processes getting going when your Operating System loads up and you Log-in, in the process placing less demand on your CPU and speeding up your machine. What version of Windows are you using? If it's Vista, my Windows Update packed in within about 18 months. The solution I eventually opted for was just to upgrade to Windows 7 as it was a Dell Machine without an Operating System disk and I couldn't be fucked with the recovery partition. My recommendation is that, unless someone else can find a solution to your Windows Update problem, back up your essential data, find your Operating System disk, shut-down your PC, turn it on and go into the boot menu at the BIOS (usually one of the F(x) keys at the black screen lets you do this) run from the DVD drive and reinstall your operating system. Remember to look out any possibly relevant serial numbers as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy85 Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 What a thoroughly helpful chap. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffcsam Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 First thing to check is your Startup folder (click the windows start icon on the taskbar, browse the programs list, open the folder "Startup" and see if anything's in there. Anything in that folder will run every time you log-in to Windows. I have yet to find a program that it is necessary to have in there for conventional PC use. If anything's there and it's non-essential, remove it from the folder and it shouldn't load up in future. "Regedit" is a little more complicated, but is usually where you find a lot of the sources of rogue processes slowing down your PC. The Registry is something you have to be careful with as it contains a lot of essential system files, but viruses and malware in particular can also throw a few spanners in the works there. To open regedit, you just go to the start menu and search "regedit" and open it, or in XP go Start-->Run then enter regedit. The relevant folders are the "LOCAL MACHINE" and "CURRENT USER" ones. Browse through the following subfolders in each directory: SOFTWARE--> MICROSOFT --> WINDOWS --> CURRENT VERSION --> RUN. There should be a list of processes there (for example you might have msmsgr as one, which is what loads up Windows Live Messenger automatically on start-up). If things have daft names and you're sure they're not necessary for loading at the start-up, you can delete entries but BE CAREFUL. That should reduce the backlog of processes getting going when your Operating System loads up and you Log-in, in the process placing less demand on your CPU and speeding up your machine. What version of Windows are you using? If it's Vista, my Windows Update packed in within about 18 months. The solution I eventually opted for was just to upgrade to Windows 7 as it was a Dell Machine without an Operating System disk and I couldn't be fucked with the recovery partition. My recommendation is that, unless someone else can find a solution to your Windows Update problem, back up your essential data, find your Operating System disk, shut-down your PC, turn it on and go into the boot menu at the BIOS (usually one of the F(x) keys at the black screen lets you do this) run from the DVD drive and reinstall your operating system. Remember to look out any possibly relevant serial numbers as well. You had me at "First thing" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ad Lib Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 You had me at "First thing" You know, I'm actually quite proud to say that I learned about pretty much all of that from the E-Chat Forum on here, solving my own computer gremlins. I've got a lot to thank Pie and Bovril for, but it hasn't yet got me laid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy85 Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 You know, I'm actually quite proud to say that I learned about pretty much all of that from the E-Chat Forum on here, solving my own computer gremlins. I've got a lot to thank Pie and Bovril for, but it hasn't yet got me laid. I wouldn't trust P&B to get you laid. You'd end up fucking a goat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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