Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[D.A.F.C]

Positional sense at 5s is usually very poor.

Guys who don't look for a pass when you have the ball or look to mark when the opposition does.

What exactly are they doing there is anyones guess

Some people have zero awareness it's annoying.

Another one is when the opposition scores and the keeper fucks about with the ball or has a drink.

[A96]

22 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Some people have zero awareness it's annoying.

Another one is when the opposition scores and the keeper fucks about with the ball or has a drink.

My days of playing indoor fitba are long gone, but when I did play I used to get pissed off at some of the others for their choice of kit.

I'm not talking about my obvious distaste for any Celtic or Rangers gear. It was the lads that wore things like rugby tops or the sort of ordinary ankle socks that would normally just be worn to work that annoyed me.

And anybody wearing trackie bottoms to play indoor fitba should GTF

Edited February 20, 2019 by A96

[tamthebam]

13 hours ago, Zen Archer said:

Are those 'WARNING, TROUSERS' signs?

the breeks on the sign should be coloured green and the sign re-erected in the North East if you ask me..

[TheScarf]

When I played fives there would always some dick stood permanently on the edge of the D who would score about 20 each game.  Never moved from that spot so we eventually got fucked off and started absolutely scything him down, sometimes before the ball even reached him.  He eventually got the message and stopped turning up. 

The cunt point blank refused to move. No matter how many times he was telt by team mates and opposition.  We did toy with the idea of rules like only 2 players in the opposition half at any one time, and nominating 2 of his teammates so he had to stay in his own half and defend, but that would've stopped the fun of it.

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, Boghead ranter said:

Anchor Spreadable.

I reckon it'd only be 'spreadable' if you stored it on top of a permanently-on radiator.

I use that and find it's generally okay so long as you don't keep it in the fridge.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

3 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

I do however like players who actually think they are better than what they are.

[D.A.F.C]

You twa seem to probably take more serious than others. Been playing fives for 9 years and I still couldn't care. Keep myself fit, score some goals and try my best to not score an own goal.

I do however like players who actually think they are better than what they are.

Mark your man! AYE YOU stop it

[The Moonster]

59 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

When I played fives there would always some dick stood permanently on the edge of the D who would score about 20 each game.  Never moved from that spot so we eventually got fucked off and started absolutely scything him down, sometimes before the ball even reached him.  He eventually got the message and stopped turning up. 

The c**t point blank refused to move. No matter how many times he was telt by team mates and opposition.  We did toy with the idea of rules like only 2 players in the opposition half at any one time, and nominating 2 of his teammates so he had to stay in his own half and defend, but that would've stopped the fun of it.

These are the same wankers who do everything in their power to avoid going in goal too.  We would always do 1 goal turnaround so the same guy wasn't in goal for the whole hour. When it's the aforementioned c***s turn and someone is asking whose turn it is they'll go deaf and when you eventually get the c**t to take his turn he'll half-arsedly throw an arm or a leg at the very first shot that comes at him then claim that's his turn done.  Absolutely no time for these wankers.

[Salvo Montalbano]

These are the same wankers who do everything in their power to avoid going in goal too.  We would always do 1 goal turnaround so the same guy wasn't in goal for the whole hour. When it's the aforementioned c***s turn and someone is asking whose turn it is they'll go deaf and when you eventually get the c**t to take his turn he'll half-arsedly throw an arm or a leg at the very first shot that comes at him then claim that's his turn done.  Absolutely no time for these wankers.

That's why you have to do 5 minute stints, or at the very least a "you're not coming out if you let in the first shot" clause. Fives is awful for bringing out the w****r in some folk though.

[buchan30]

Off work no well. Nothing serious, just a bit of a chest infection. Getting on my nerves because it’s not left me unwell enough to sit around doing nothing all day, but at the same time each time i go to do anything its a struggle and leaves me coughing my guts up. Only been off 3 days and i’m getting bored already. Go watch the rest of Sunderland til i die, then will probably get time to read billy connolly book. I’m just usually on the go a lot either in the house or out doing stuff and it’s getting on my nerves that i can’t do what I usually do.

[tarapoa]

7 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

Players at the fives who don't mark or go two defenders on one. It's like being a man down.

I've spent much of my adult life moaning at folk that don't track back at fives - calmed down a bit now, probably as I'm slowing up myself in my old age.

Less bothered about folk that don't always look for a pass, as I prefer to take the Italian "defence is everything" philosophy to the small-sided game. The more organised and streetwise team will normally win at fives, whereas on a bigger pitch, raw pace from some wee shite in his 20s will kill you.

If you need to take a breather, which I often do these days, and are not in goals, just anchor at the back and at least be a body that slows up the counter attack if nothing else. 

 

Edited February 20, 2019 by tarapoa

[The Moonster]

1 hour ago, Salvo Montalbano said:

That's why you have to do 5 minute stints, or at the very least a "you're not coming out if you let in the first shot" clause. Fives is awful for bringing out the w****r in some folk though.

Aye but with the 5 minute stints you always get some c**t arguing it's not been 5 minutes.  I suppose these weasels will always find a way of circumventing fair play.

[Chicken Wing]

Off work no well. Nothing serious, just a bit of a chest infection. Getting on my nerves because it’s not left me unwell enough to sit around doing nothing all day, but at the same time each time i go to do anything its a struggle and leaves me coughing my guts up. Only been off 3 days and i’m getting bored already. Go watch the rest of Sunderland til i die, then will probably get time to read billy connolly book. I’m just usually on the go a lot either in the house or out doing stuff and it’s getting on my nerves that i can’t do what I usually do.

You ok ***? Pm me bbz xx

[D.A.F.C]

I've spent much of my adult life moaning at folk that don't track back at fives - calmed down a bit now, probably as I'm slowing up myself in my old age.
Less bothered about folk that don't always look for a pass, as I prefer to take the Italian "defence is everything" philosophy to the small-sided game. The more organised and streetwise team will normally win at fives, whereas on a bigger pitch, raw pace from some wee shite in his 20s will kill you.
If you need to take a breather, which I often do these days, and are not in goals, just anchor at the back and at least be a body that slows up the counter attack if nothing else. 
 

Bet the non markers moan at you. Push up push up. Aye so you can take on three guys lose it then shout at me for not being able to get back for the counter 4 vs 1.
Some people have zero awareness when playing.

[Derry Alli]

Getting annoyed at folk playing fives with normal socks on is absolute mentalist behaviour.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

5s. Serious fucking business btw.

[Dee Man]

56 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Bet the non markers moan at you. Push up push up. Aye so you can take on three guys lose it then shout at me for not being able to get back for the counter 4 vs 1.
Some people have zero awareness when playing.

I was playing with a guy last year who wrongly thought he was sensational. He was good at getting past one or two players by which point he had options to pass either side, always opted to attempt to take on one more, lost it and then blamed the defence/keeper for losing a goal, completely oblivious to the fact the problem stemmed from him. Pretty basic stuff. 

A lot of players have plenty skill but no football brain. See Faissal El Bakhtaoui. 

[Gaz FFC]

7 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

Some people have zero awareness it's annoying.

Another one is when the opposition scores and the keeper fucks about with the ball or has a drink.

I've seen me raging because the keeper is either incapable of kicking a ball out or throwing it out.

If you get the bloody finger oot we were on easy street there

[Gaz FFC]

13 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

Had one guy who never passed the ball and just took a shot no matter how hopeless the position. Celebrated like he was at the world cup on the odd time it worked.

I've seen a guy who thought he was Messi

would beat everyone in the hall twice but was abysmal at finishing.

In the 60mins he had the ball close to half of that but his finishing badly let him down.

If you were in his team it was great that he was so lively and energetic but you'd never get a pass.

Edited February 21, 2019 by Gaz FFC

[D.A.F.C]

I've seen me raging because the keeper is either incapable of kicking a ball out or throwing it out.
If you get the bloody finger oot we were on easy street there

^^^kens the score