Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

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15 hours ago, jimbaxters said:

Every Friday morning in every workplace, this phrase gets mercilessly overused...

 "Morning. How's it going?" 

 "Fine thanks. At least it's Friday!"

 Think of something else to say!!

I have a colleague who does this kind of thing every day. 

Late Monday afternoon, he'll say that the worst day is almost over.

Tuesday, he'll say at least it's not Monday.

Wednesday is the aforementioned humpday.

Thursday is at least it's Friday tomorrow.

Friday as in JB's post above.

I never wish for it to be Friday. I'd rather just go straight to Saturday.

[Guest]

Guy at my work refers to Thursday as Friday-eve really does my tits in.

[Bairnardo]

Guy at my work refers to Thursday as Friday-eve really does my tits in.

Might be fair enough of he was buzzing about an upcoming hookers and ching bender, but you just know a guy like that is going to be washing his car and cutting the grass then drinking a maximum of 4 cans of some Brewdog shite in a desperate, but ultimately guaranteed to fail attempt to break free of the identity allocated to him by his facebook maw troll of a wife.

[Guest]

Might be fair enough of he was buzzing about an upcoming hookers and ching bender, but you just know a guy like that is going to be washing his car and cutting the grass then drinking a maximum of 4 cans of some Brewdog shite in a desperate, but ultimately guaranteed to fail attempt to break free of the identity allocated to him by his facebook maw troll of a wife.

Add sharing whatever pish music hes listening whilst pissed on facebook to that and you've hit the nail right on the head.

[Bairnardo]

13 minutes ago, Empty It said:

16 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Might be fair enough of he was buzzing about an upcoming hookers and ching bender, but you just know a guy like that is going to be washing his car and cutting the grass then drinking a maximum of 4 cans of some Brewdog shite in a desperate, but ultimately guaranteed to fail attempt to break free of the identity allocated to him by his facebook maw troll of a wife.

Add sharing whatever pish music hes listening whilst pissed on facebook to that and you've hit the nail right on the head.

Yeah, extra points for rattling on about Pink Floyd because he thinks it's cool, has only actually ever heard The Wall. 

[Guest]

Yeah, extra points for rattling on about Pink Floyd because he thinks it's cool, has only actually ever heard The Wall. 

Nah his music taste is atrocious, more 70s pop shite.

[Derry Alli]

55 minutes ago, Empty It said:

Guy at my work refers to Thursday as Friday-eve really does my tits in.

Piy-day then Friday! 

[Bairnardo]

Nah his music taste is atrocious, more 70s pop shite.

I hate this c**t. Bet he thinks hes class at barbecuing too and wears a hilarious apron, probably about drinking beer, whilst hes destroying shop bought burgers

[Guest]

I hate this c**t. Bet he thinks hes class at barbecuing too and wears a hilarious apron, probably about drinking beer, whilst hes destroying shop bought burgers

Only if you class Budweiser as beer, I'm starting to think you know this guy.

[Bairnardo]

1 minute ago, Empty It said:

5 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

I hate this c**t. Bet he thinks hes class at barbecuing too and wears a hilarious apron, probably about drinking beer, whilst hes destroying shop bought burgers

Only if you class Budweiser as beer, I'm starting to think you know this guy.

Na, for my obvious projection of a totalbwanker I know it has to be brewdog. 

 

He almost singlehandedly* turned my hate for brewdog into an unstoppable thermonuclear force. 

 

*obviously it wasnt all him, what with brewdog being utter worstcunts

[jimbaxters]

Poor lad. Be sure to show him the regard in which he is held within the P&B collective.

[Curmudgeon]

9 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

11 hours ago, MixuFruit said:

Aye but I get all flustered because I expect to have a wee bit more time to say my piece.

I hate it when I phone someone like what you are saying and they just answer with "hello".

^^^Lionel Ritchie disagrees with this.

[Shotgun]

Agreed on the businesses who answer with "Hello." Because then I always have to ask "Is this <Business Name>?" to make sure I have the right place. Different if you're phoning somebody at home.

When I was growing up, my Dad always insisted we answer the phone with the full number. "Auchtermuchty 3567892" * or whatever. He did that until he died but prior to that, I always enjoyed tormenting him by answering with "The Vicarage" or "The Samaritans" etc. You had to make your own entertainment in those days.

* We didn't live in Auchtermuchty. This is a made up number. Don't call it.

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

On 06/06/2020 at 04:08, Mr. Alli said:

Is it possible you've had to pay tax twice? 

Nah it’s to do with the shite exchange rates PayPal gave me. 

Update: the German company told me to f**k off. Then I left them a negative review on trustpilot and their attitude miraculously changed and it now looks like a full refund could be on the cards.

[Raidernation]

When people at work ask me the inevitable “how are you?” I always say “fantastic!” In a very confident loud manner and keep going.

Common here is “What’s up?” to which I have a selection of annoying pedantic answers such as:
Point up
“The ceiling”
“The sun”
“The opposite of down”
And many more.







I’m an annoying chunt

[Northboy]

3 hours ago, Raidernation said:

When people at work ask me the inevitable “how are you?” I always say “fantastic!” In a very confident loud manner and keep going.

An older guy I worked with would annoyingly reply 'absolutely average' to that question. Still, it could be mildly amusing with people he didn't know as it often triggered a look of confused worry as to whether he might be seriously ill (or just a bit strange).

[Dons_1988]

3 hours ago, Raidernation said:

When people at work ask me the inevitable “how are you?” I always say “fantastic!” In a very confident loud manner and keep going.

Common here is “What’s up?” to which I have a selection of annoying pedantic answers such as:
Point up
“The ceiling”
“The sun”
“The opposite of down”
And many more.







I’m an annoying chunt

Still better than the guy who goes into a 10 minute monologue about how they're actually doing.

[GordonD]

14 hours ago, Shotgun said:

When I was growing up, my Dad always insisted we answer the phone with the full number. "Auchtermuchty 3567892" * or whatever. He did that until he died but prior to that, I always enjoyed tormenting him by answering with "The Vicarage" or "The Samaritans" etc. You had to make your own entertainment in those days.

* We didn't live in Auchtermuchty. This is a made up number. Don't call it.

Well, obviously. Auchtermuchty phones haven't yet reached the need for double digit numbers.

[tamthebam]

16 hours ago, Shotgun said:

Agreed on the businesses who answer with "Hello." Because then I always have to ask "Is this <Business Name>?" to make sure I have the right place. Different if you're phoning somebody at home.

When I was growing up, my Dad always insisted we answer the phone with the full number. "Auchtermuchty 3567892" * or whatever. He did that until he died but prior to that, I always enjoyed tormenting him by answering with "The Vicarage" or "The Samaritans" etc. You had to make your own entertainment in those days.

* We didn't live in Auchtermuchty. This is a made up number. Don't call it.

I did. There was heavy breathing at the other end. Expect a knock on the door from the rozzers you pervert.

[tamthebam]

6 hours ago, Raidernation said:

When people at work ask me the inevitable “how are you?” I always say “fantastic!” In a very confident loud manner and keep going.

Common here is “What’s up?” to which I have a selection of annoying pedantic answers such as:
Point up
“The ceiling”
“The sun”
“The opposite of down”
And many more.







I’m an annoying chunt

People ask "how long are you going to be?"

To which I reply "about 6 feet"

Sometimes physical violence ensues...