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Best man at a wedding tomorrow. Had quite a few beverages tonight and can feel the hangover kicking in already. I have the fear...

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A couple of shower anecdotes from your amateur footballing days should break the ice m8 ;)

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Former FIFA President Sepp Blatter talking of his ban from FIFA.

He said: "I have killed nobody, I have not robbed a bank, I have not taken any money from anywhere and I was even treating well all my ex-girlfriends.

"It's true. They defend me. One I was married to only for a few months and she is really defending me."

I believe he never took bungs now.

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Former FIFA President Sepp Blatter talking of his ban from FIFA.

He said: "I have killed nobody, I have not robbed a bank, I have not taken any money from anywhere and I was even treating well all my ex-girlfriends.

"It's true. They defend me. One I was married to only for a few months and she is really defending me."

I believe he never took bungs now.

He didn't need to take bungs, with 5 star expenses and an estimated $6 million salary it was him doling out the bungs to keep his job.

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The deaths of all those millions of slaves building the stadiums in Qatar are due to him (and everyone else who voted for Qatar). He didn't rob or take money it just kept mysteriously appearing in his account.

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Nah, hip flask full of whisky - Sorted.

Half a joab, if your nerves are jangling as much as you say. Get ane o these, voddy in on side bottle o asda cola in the other.

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Have a good ane, Milly. You'll be fine, I'm sure.

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