coprolite Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 I picked up the wrong can in the bathroom yesterday and sprayed shaving foam in my oxter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 9 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Sleep tight and don’t have nightmares, sweet princes: Dancing? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 9 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Dancing? Asking? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 21 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Dancing? 11 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said: Asking? @WATTOO 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Sleep tight and don’t have nightmares, sweet princes: Your shoes don’t fit properly or you wear two socks on each feet. (I assume you were doing some sort of exercise/sport?) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Stop quoting those fucking minging excuses for toes. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Dancing? The dancing career is on hold as Mrs recovers from a broken ankle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 I‘m currently in Iceland, the country and not the frozen food shop, and was out last night in Reykjavik. Got speaking to some Icelandic boys in a pub who told me their friend was a Scottish footballer. They ended up Video-calling none other than former St Mirren, Queens and Dunfermline defender Marc McAusland. I also woke up with an uneaten Kebab, as I made the outstanding drunken decision to get an extra one which I planned to consume for Breakfast. I’m basically winning at life today. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 11 hours ago, Drew Brees said: I can't wait to hear murder victim's views on this. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 6 hours ago, MONKMAN said: I also woke up with an uneaten Kebab, as I made the outstanding drunken decision to get an extra one which I planned to consume for Breakfast. I agree with the outstanding decision portion but does it not, by definition, suggest that you couldn't have been all that drunken? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 6 hours ago, Shandon Par said: The dancing career is on hold as Mrs recovers from a broken ankle. It’s amazing what she’ll do to get away from having to look at your toes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 (edited) Genuinely soooo close to going full Ballistic Bob after an hour of dealing with Excel charts. The fact I'm working from home using my own computer is probably the only reason this isn't happening: #angerissues Eta: at least Brechin never lost today. Nice for a change. Edited November 23, 2019 by Hedgecutter 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 In the chip shop this evening and some guy wanders in, starting the following conversation: Him: Erm, what kind of fish is that? Girl who's serving: That's a jumbo sausage. Him: Sure it's not a fish? Girl: Trust me, I work here, it's a sausage. Him: Fair enough, sorry. Ok, can I get that fish instead please? Girl: That's a king rib. Him: Is there any fish? Girl: It'll be a 5 min wait. Him: How long does it take to cook it? Girl: 5 minutes. At this moment, a pissed guy walks in who's caked in mud with a face covered in leaves. Mud man: Hey folks, any chance of a lift into Aberdeen? It's f***in' rainin' oot there. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/23/edinburgh-christmas-german-market-splits-opinions-local-residents?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other[emoji383][emoji383][emoji383][emoji383][emoji383][emoji383][emoji383][emoji383][emoji383][emoji383][emoji383] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 Ant and Dec, imagine Geordies being surprised that they're related? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 f**k knows what she's on about. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-50501203 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 f**k knows what she's on about. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-50501203 Why is this a thing? Why is she making it a thing?Seems very thin skinned. Yes there's a massive problem with sexism and homophobia on Twitter but why would you choose to become a part of this story. Keep your social media and ignore them or ditch it if you want. Why make a thing out of it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 Seems very odd for a senior copper to be complaining about the general public saying unpleasant things to them. I generally assume the average polis spends their entire day having their parentage, sexuality, and morality questioned on a minute-by-minute basis, not to mention the regular physical assaults. To assume the same people would be nicer under the cloak of anonymity is remarkably naive. I take it she went straight into a promoted position and never walked a beat? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 (edited) Edited November 24, 2019 by GordonD 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 I was going to post on here at the time about her but I couldn't think what she reminded me of. I've just realised. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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