Strange dreams

[D.A.F.C]

On 17/05/2017 at 01:11, Tartan Dave said:

Sleep paralysis? Heard some terrible sounding experiences of it. Mine have always just been an old woman standing at the end of my bed which is scary enough! 

Mine was waking up and someone was above and behind me talking in some mad demonic voice but I couldn't move. I eventually woke up properly and my first instinct was to laugh as for a moment I thought it was real.

[Enigma]

I was visited by a giant in a dream and told that the owls are not what they seem. f**k knows?

[D.A.F.C]

 

[Aidan]

Keep eating the cheese before bed, you'll have some class dreams.

I had fish for my tea last night, I think it's maybe something to do with the heat.

[NorthernJambo]

Last night I dreamt I was playing football with a boy I haven't seen since high school. Once our game finished he asked if I could get him weed said I would speak to some folk. Not sure why, didn't like the boy in high school never mind now.

[Miguel Sanchez]

I had a dream last night I went on a date with a girl

[nsr]

Last night's dream was a weird one. I was on my way to a job interview in an unnamed city with a set of directions for getting there.

Step one was to find a pub on the main road called the Old Bell. I could not find the thing so I stopped in a laundromat to ask Roger Moore for help, but he was no use. Eventually I found it - it had changed hands and been renamed, but still looked enough like the picture in my directions.

Step two was to go down this creepy spiral staircase to another street below.

Step three was to look for a Jordanian restaurant that also offered shower facilities, with the owners living on the ground floor and the actual restaurant upstairs. I found an eatery that claimed to represent all nations in the Middle East including Jordan but was on the ground floor. I thought "Meh. That'll do". By this point I had also bumped into my wife who was going to the same job interview for some reason.

After that it got surreal. The city morphed into a video game where monsters attacked from all sides, particular stand-outs being a slavering, bloodshot-eyed sabretooth tiger and a rottweiler with a chainsaw for a face. These two appeared to be trying to mate with each other while simultaneously attempting to engage in the business of eviscerating me. I must have entered a cheat code as I managed to one-hit-kill them, prompting an extremely drawn-out and painful-sounding death animation.

Then I woke up, a full two minutes before my alarm was due to go off. I was gutted. I really wanted that job.

[Jan Vojáček]

I had a belter last night. I was in Saudi Arabia, at a pretty decent hotel that overlooked two military airbases. For some reason though I had to frame a guy for a murder, but the only way to do it was to leave a lemon tart underneath a motorway bridge.

Obviously security was pretty high, and so I was sat on my balcony with maps and drawings of the area, trying to work out how to reach this motorway. As I was doing that a tiny plane starting doing acrobatics over my balcony, and then started shooting at me.

I stumbled inside the hotel room, and suddenly I was in some big fancy shopping centre, looking for a freezer shop to get the lemon tart in. I got one and headed back, terrified in case I was attacked by a wee plane, and safely hid it under the motorway bridge. Which, by this stage, was the underpass to the station in Milngavie.

I remember nothing after that, so I'm assuming I was killed.

Christ only knows what that means.

[sjc]

My wife had a vivid dream the other night that I brought a guy home and announced to her that he was my life partner and that I was adamant that he would play a role in our daughters upbringing. 

My secret's out after all these years!

[NorthernJambo]

Had a nightmare that Jonny Hayes was away there.
 

Away where?

[NorthernJambo]

A Celtic supporter was telling me it's happening. Can't see it myself. Rest easy MM.

[Hedgecutter]

I had a large carrion crow pecking through my living room ceiling last night, letting some rain in.

[BigMartyn86]

I had a dream last night that I was at an all weather race track in Scotland at night but I was in the bookies at the track betting on the last race at Kempton. I put £10 on a 88/1 shot and it won. I was going mental but then couldn't find my betting slip so became furious I went to the counter to try and claim my winnings only to find out that there was a stewards inquiry and the c**t hadn't won. Then I woke up confused as f**k as to what was going on.

[jamamafegan]

Last night I was having a fucking brilliant dream where I had met an extremely fit Latino girl. She was doing exercise and was dressed in a sports bikini kind of thing, she was absolutely smoking. She had just finished explaining to me that she lives in a house at the end of my street and that she was single...and then I woke up. I was fucking gutted [emoji38]

[LondonHMFC]

Had a really odd one last night, and I can't stop thinking about it for some reason. Usually dreams like that are when you knob a horrific bird, and then question yourself all day as to why you were thinking about her.

This one however, I was walking up a country road, and hopped over a fence where my Dad was strimming a field. I noticed a bull close to him, who looked small, but had massive horns. Shouted over to him to be careful, and he just said "remain calm and you will be fine", so I started walking over and this massive fucking pig came out of nowhere and started running at me, again my Dad shouted to remain calm but I was on my toes, I ran out the field (which now had no fence) and down this road. One of those dreams where you just can't run fast enough, I looked behind me and the pig was so close. I tried running diagonally to confuse it, but it caught me and bit my arm. I was shaking my arms all over, to try and get it off, but it wouldn't release it's grip. Eventually I managed to throw my jacket over it's head, and trip it over. It just lay on the ground. I started running back to the field to find my Dad and he was walking down the road with two Fulham programmes in his hand, asking if I wanted to go to the match. 

The alarm then went off, and I woke up in a dazed and confused state. 

[NorthernJambo]

Had a really odd one last night, and I can't stop thinking about it for some reason. Usually dreams like that are when you knob a horrific bird, and then question yourself all day as to why you were thinking about her.
This one however, I was walking up a country road, and hopped over a fence where my Dad was strimming a field. I noticed a bull close to him, who looked small, but had massive horns. Shouted over to him to be careful, and he just said "remain calm and you will be fine", so I started walking over and this massive fucking pig came out of nowhere and started running at me, again my Dad shouted to remain calm but I was on my toes, I ran out the field (which now had no fence) and down this road. One of those dreams where you just can't run fast enough, I looked behind me and the pig was so close. I tried running diagonally to confuse it, but it caught me and bit my arm. I was shaking my arms all over, to try and get it off, but it wouldn't release it's grip. Eventually I managed to throw my jacket over it's head, and trip it over. It just lay on the ground. I started running back to the field to find my Dad and he was walking down the road with two Fulham programmes in his hand, asking if I wanted to go to the match. 
The alarm then went off, and I woke up in a dazed and confused state. 

Really weird, wonder who Fulham were playing? Odd.

(That's a class dream though, I love dreams like that, that are just mental. Wish I could control my dreams)

[Mark Connolly]

3 minutes ago, LondonHMFC said:

Had a really odd one last night, and I can't stop thinking about it for some reason. Usually dreams like that are when you knob a horrific bird, and then question yourself all day as to why you were thinking about her.

This one however, I was walking up a country road, and hopped over a fence where my Dad was strimming a field. I noticed a bull close to him, who looked small, but had massive horns. Shouted over to him to be careful, and he just said "remain calm and you will be fine", so I started walking over and this massive fucking pig came out of nowhere and started running at me, again my Dad shouted to remain calm but I was on my toes, I ran out the field (which now had no fence) and down this road. One of those dreams where you just can't run fast enough, I looked behind me and the pig was so close. I tried running diagonally to confuse it, but it caught me and bit my arm. I was shaking my arms all over, to try and get it off, but it wouldn't release it's grip. Eventually I managed to throw my jacket over it's head, and trip it over. It just lay on the ground. I started running back to the field to find my Dad and he was walking down the road with two Fulham programmes in his hand, asking if I wanted to go to the match. 

The alarm then went off, and I woke up in a dazed and confused state. 

Have you recently murdered a policeman by any chance?

[Blootoon87]

Had a dream that John Hartson drove right into my lane resulting in a head on crash. Not much damage, he admitted it was all his fault and we swapped insurance details. He was wearing a bunnet.

John Hartson - nice guy, shite driver.

 

 

[Shandon Par]

Had a mad dream where St Mirren signed Gavin Reilly and then fancied themselves as title contenders. Must lay off the Stilton before bed.

[D.A.F.C]

Had a dream last night that the Duke of Edinburgh came to my house and I had to look after him. I was raking through the cupboards but could only find monster munch. Eventually I gave him one on a silver platter and he loved it. "My dear boy it's glorious hahahah" Then we went out to asda to buy multipacks and he was buying every crisp in sight.
WTF