Depression

[Dons_1988]

10 hours ago, Perkin Flump said:

Sorry if I have alarmed anyone, I have taken wellyheids advice & got totally smashed, or it might have been welshbairn, I can't remember, anyhoo I am hanging on for now, I love this place sometimes but the dog is really crushing me. Will trymy best to get out the other side but I have been sneeringly told I can't get my meds until Tuesday Afternoon, even the Acute Care Unit don't seem to care anymore even though I have enjoyed stays there previously.

Hang in there, mate.

Relieved to see you come through the worst of it but keep at it. Always free for a PM if you're struggling.

 

[Smurph]

12 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Further to the discussion about anti depressants and booze. I take neither so maybe that’s why my mind is so fcked up! Yesterday I did a 5 mile walk then a 10 mile cycle. Today I did a 20 mile cycle I feel better after excercise but it’s just finding the motivation to get out of bed! I hate that I’m 35 and I’m on the job scrap heap as well as the other sad events that have contributed to my low mood. I feel if I had work that would be a reason to get out of bed! 

You are preaching to the choir right there mate. I've had a pretty shite time of it during this lockdown and been on furlough for three months now, which I do realise in itself is fortunate. The first few weeks were alright and it was a novelty to wake up at 11/12 and sometimes get out of bed at 3/4pm, I had absolutely f**k all else to do and was up until silly hours playing FIFA. Since lockdown restrictions were eased and you're allowed more than 1hr of exercise it made it a bit easier to get out and try and make something of the day. There are some days where I go out and will walk 15 miles no bother but others, like yesterday, where I'm just lying about doing f**k all until 4pm, which only makes me feel worse about wasting my time, but there's no point in getting up earlier if I don't have anything to do.

I've been recommended to download the couch to 5k app. I have no idea of your fitness levels but it would maybe be good to have something like that to motivate you to go outside, even if it isn't an every day thing.  I don't know how you feel about catching little animals on your phone but Pokemon GO is genuinely a great app/game and provides motivation to leave the house sometimes too, there have been times where I've thrown clothes on and ran out the house to go and catch something nearby, which by that point I'm already outside and just continue with it.

Edited June 15, 2020 by Smurph

[Moomintroll]

Thanks a'body for all the help, too many to mention but you all know who you are. Thanks especially to @Marshmallo ,helped me when I really needed it & I appreciated the help. ETA I say help far too much.

Edited June 15, 2020 by Perkin Flump

[Thereisalight..]

I feel myself slipping into bad habits. For the last few months I’ve started smoking, albeit it’s only one a day. Since I was a teenager I’ve made myself sick on and off. Last year I had it bad and it impacted on my relationship (she never found out I was gorging and making myself sick) as I was on edge every time we were at a restaurant etc. When we broke up I lost all appetite so I had no reason to do it, then my Dad died and I lost appetite even more. Recently I’ve found myself doing it again as I’ve been exercising lots and not losing any weight despite not eating badly. I’m so fcked up in so many ways

[mathematics]

15 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I feel myself slipping into bad habits. For the last few months I’ve started smoking, albeit it’s only one a day. Since I was a teenager I’ve made myself sick on and off. Last year I had it bad and it impacted on my relationship (she never found out I was gorging and making myself sick) as I was on edge every time we were at a restaurant etc. When we broke up I lost all appetite so I had no reason to do it, then my Dad died and I lost appetite even more. Recently I’ve found myself doing it again as I’ve been exercising lots and not losing any weight despite not eating badly. I’m so fcked up in so many ways

What are your stressors and is there anything you can do to mitigate them?

[Thereisalight..]

33 minutes ago, mathematics said:

What are your stressors and is there anything you can do to mitigate them?

I wouldn’t say it’s stress as such, just a lingering fog that’s lasted for months now and putting me in a dark place. As for the food thing, any time I have something “bad” like crisps or a chippy etc I want to throw up. I know the mitigating factor should be “just don’t eat them”!

[Moomintroll]

6 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I wouldn’t say it’s stress as such, just a lingering fog that’s lasted for months now and putting me in a dark place. As for the food thing, any time I have something “bad” like crisps or a chippy etc I want to throw up. I know the mitigating factor should be “just don’t eat them”!

Mate dont do that, it will reinforce the stigma around it wherever it is coming from in your head & will lock you in to a destructive cycle. I know I have a bloody cheek given recent events but try to look at things like having a chippy as being a reward for being disciplined with your eating habits through the week, make it a positive thing rather than something to beat yourself up about. Hope you can get through the shite, PM me any time if you are really struggling.

[Thereisalight..]

5 hours ago, Perkin Flump said:

Mate dont do that, it will reinforce the stigma around it wherever it is coming from in your head & will lock you in to a destructive cycle. I know I have a bloody cheek given recent events but try to look at things like having a chippy as being a reward for being disciplined with your eating habits through the week, make it a positive thing rather than something to beat yourself up about. Hope you can get through the shite, PM me any time if you are really struggling.

Thanks for that. Yeah I should look at a chippy as a treat but I see myself being disciplined all week and doing lots of exercise and still not losing weight and it makes me feel guilty for having it. Since lockdown began I’ve been exercising  a lot every day and not eating badly and I’ve remained the same weight

[Moomintroll]

2 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Thanks for that. Yeah I should look at a chippy as a treat but I see myself being disciplined all week and doing lots of exercise and still not losing weight and it makes me feel guilty for having it. Since lockdown began I’ve been exercising  a lot every day and not eating badly and I’ve remained the same weight

I obviously don't know your circumstances but if you have been doing a lot of weight training rather than cardio then there is a good chance that your weight will remain stable but your BMI will have came down. Again look at the positive, a lot of people will come out of lockdown much heavier, I have been working all the way through and have still managed to put 6 lbs on, i get that it is well nigh impossible when you are on a downer but try & give yourself some credit.

[Thereisalight..]

2 minutes ago, Perkin Flump said:

I obviously don't know your circumstances but if you have been doing a lot of weight training rather than cardio then there is a good chance that your weight will remain stable but your BMI will have came down. Again look at the positive, a lot of people will come out of lockdown much heavier, I have been working all the way through and have still managed to put 6 lbs on, i get that it is well nigh impossible when you are on a downer but try & give yourself some credit.

Nah I’ve never been interested in weights. I do a lot of walking, hiking and cycling. That’s true, at least I haven’t put on weight! I’m just below 12 stone right now but I’d like to be at least 11.5 . You’ll get that 6lbs shifted easily enough if you want to I’m sure

[Thereisalight..]

A rough day for me. The first Father’s Day without my old man. Usually I’d get him something football related (tickets to a game or a DVD/book etc). To all you guys on here who’s dad is no longer with them, I hope  you’re getting through today ok. 

[ParsJake]

7 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

A rough day for me. The first Father’s Day without my old man. Usually I’d get him something football related (tickets to a game or a DVD/book etc). To all you guys on here who’s dad is no longer with them, I hope  you’re getting through today ok. 

I'm in the same boat mate, first Father's Day without  my old man around. At least this is the last of the "firsts", had the first Christmas without him and last month was his first birthday he wasn't here for. That was harder than today given it's much more personal. Taking a little consolation from the fact that there aren't really any visual reminders of Father's Day whereas Christmas is much more "in your face" and hard to try to ignore.

Our dads may have gone but at the same time they'll be with us forever.  I'll hold that thought while I have a few quality ales tonight to toast his memory.

[Thereisalight..]

30 minutes ago, ParsJake said:

I'm in the same boat mate, first Father's Day without  my old man around. At least this is the last of the "firsts", had the first Christmas without him and last month was his first birthday he wasn't here for. That was harder than today given it's much more personal. Taking a little consolation from the fact that there aren't really any visual reminders of Father's Day whereas Christmas is much more "in your face" and hard to try to ignore.

Our dads may have gone but at the same time they'll be with us forever.  I'll hold that thought while I have a few quality ales tonight to toast his memory.

Sorry to hear this is your first without your old man as well. I’m dreading Christmas. His birthday was in April and that was a tough day. Mine was in May and that was a shite day as well. Christmas and New Year will just be a time I want to sleep the days away as started to become unwell during that time in 2019. It will be painful reminders.

they sure will be with us forever in our hearts and minds. Enjoy toasting your Dad’s memory tonight mate

[Venti]

1 hour ago, Thereisalight.. said:

A rough day for me. The first Father’s Day without my old man. Usually I’d get him something football related (tickets to a game or a DVD/book etc). To all you guys on here who’s dad is no longer with them, I hope  you’re getting through today ok. 

Ironically been feeling like shit recently & now spending the day at my Dad's having a beer & pizza.

Gutting to hear folk who can't hug their Dad today (even though it's a hallmark thingy now)

Hope everyone appreciates just how positive it is on your own (and your Father's) mental health to connect today.

[Gaz]

Third father's day without my old man today. I'd love to say it gets better, but it doesn't really. It just gets a bit less bad, if that makes sense.

[Bairnardo]

Third father's day without my old man today. I'd love to say it gets better, but it doesn't really. It just gets a bit less bad, if that makes sense.

For me I have always felt, and told folk, this is applicable to every day without my parents. The impact is always there, it will never go away. But crucially, I have always felt thats how I want it. Fathers day doesnt specifically bother me because it's for my kids now, but I have never really wanted to let the last wee lingering bit of pain go.

[microdave]

Yesterday was the 21st Father's day since mine died and I still can't be bothered with it at all. My daughter always wants to make a big deal of it every year and I always come up with an excuse not to do anything. Which makes me feel guilty that she won't really have any memories of it once I'm gone too.

 

 

[Albertlegend]

First time iv ventured onto this thread so here goes.... Iv had a rough few days, my mum has been diagnosed with lung cancer yesterday, my dad dies last year of pancreatic cancer. I'm married with 2 daughters 6 and 2. My other half's parents left her and one lives abroad and has had no contact for around 10 years and the other lives down south and we see them maybe twice a year. 

This is all the family I have. I have no brothers or sisters and iv never felt so alone. My daughters are going to lose two doting grand parents in the space of 18 months and me, my mum and dad. There is no one who can help us when baby sitting is required or an ear to bend etc. Iv got a close group of friends but sometimes you just need your mum and dad. iv always known my parents were there for advice help etc should we need that safety net or support network.  Now I feel like I have nothing. 

I also have an anger at the fact her parents don't have anything to do with us or pop up once a year and they get to Swan about perfectly healthy while my mum wastes away and would love nothing more than to get the girls away for a few nights or take them swimming or to the park. How is this fair?? 

I don't know what I expect to come of putting this out there. I'm probably feeling a bit sorry for myself but I don't know where to turn. 

[NJ2]

First time iv ventured onto this thread so here goes.... Iv had a rough few days, my mum has been diagnosed with lung cancer yesterday, my dad dies last year of pancreatic cancer. I'm married with 2 daughters 6 and 2. My other half's parents left her and one lives abroad and has had no contact for around 10 years and the other lives down south and we see them maybe twice a year. 
This is all the family I have. I have no brothers or sisters and iv never felt so alone. My daughters are going to lose two doting grand parents in the space of 18 months and me, my mum and dad. There is no one who can help us when baby sitting is required or an ear to bend etc. Iv got a close group of friends but sometimes you just need your mum and dad. iv always known my parents were there for advice help etc should we need that safety net or support network.  Now I feel like I have nothing. 
I also have an anger at the fact her parents don't have anything to do with us or pop up once a year and they get to Swan about perfectly healthy while my mum wastes away and would love nothing more than to get the girls away for a few nights or take them swimming or to the park. How is this fair?? 
I don't know what I expect to come of putting this out there. I'm probably feeling a bit sorry for myself but I don't know where to turn. 

Aw mate, I’m really sorry to read this. Totally understandable it’s left you feeling low and even if you are feeling sorry for yourself that’s allowed. It’s good to get out, speak to anyone you can as well. Remember, crucially though, you aren’t alone in going through this. You have your wife, your two wee ones and a horde of fat, alcoholic VL no marks on p&b!

[philpy]

I'm struggling a bit Just now. I'm fucking shitting myself that there's going to be a second huge Spike in covid, and we are going to go into another lockdown and be back on furlough again. I'm even more worried about the wife, she's going into her 16th week of furlough and is finding it really hard and her moods are really low, and we are constantly snipping at each other. It's not a nice place to be in.