Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Hedgecutter]

27 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Maybe you misheard her asking you to pass a fuckin knife.

She just said "pans and pots", so she's obviously a word-ordering psychopath.

[Loonytoons]

Schoolboy error, imvho.

Absolutely.

[kingjoey]

23 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

My other half can't even say cutlery-related words correctly.  She refers to it as a "fork and knife" (as opposed to "knife and fork").

Said “fork and knife” my whole life, and that’s a fair while.

[RH33]

25 minutes ago, kingjoey said:

Said “fork and knife” my whole life, and that’s a fair while.

Alphabetical order, fork, knife spoon. It's easy.

[JamesP_81]

3 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

She just said "pans and pots", so she's obviously a word-ordering psychopath.

Does she ask you to pass the pepper and salt at dinner or sweep up with the brush and dustpan ? I'm sure this kind of thing is a mental disorder on the same spectrum as when people put the emphasis on the wrong syllable or word in a phrase.  

[alta-pete]

On 07/01/2022 at 21:37, Hedgecutter said:

My other half can't even say cutlery-related words correctly.  She refers to it as a "fork and knife" (as opposed to "knife and fork").

Round these parts the ‘fork n knife’ is widely recognised as rhyming slang for the good lady. Nowhere else in PnB land? 

[Miguel Sanchez]

1 hour ago, RH33 said:

Alphabetical order, fork, knife spoon. It's easy.

"Bovril & Pie"

[Sugar_Army]

As she is veggie and once worked in a kitchen restaurant we have a deal. She cooks, I clean up after.

As our kitchen is currently a bit small for a dishwasher it has become a bit of an issue.

She uses a separate utensil for every food item she preps.  While I know this can cut out food poison she just leaves them a at her arse, never in the sink or close to it.  Same will all the stuff she had opened, none back in the fridge.  Cupboard doors and drawers open.  It is mental as other than the kitchen she is a tidy freak.

On a few occasions after eating I start to head to do my half of the bargain she will say "Don't get upset when you go in there" who h is code fir "I left the place like a fucking tip and even though I know I did I made no attempt to rectify it".

One time I stopped at the living room door, turned back and sat down.  She never spoke to me that night nor all the next day as she saw the crap all still there the next tea time.

Unfortunately it is still an ongoing issue.

[RH33]

1 hour ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

"Bovril & Pie"

I was talking about cutlery.

When asked names kids, age order from oldest.....

[Busta Nut]

1 hour ago, Sugar_Army said:

As she is veggie and once worked in a kitchen restaurant we have a deal. She cooks, I clean up after.

As our kitchen is currently a bit small for a dishwasher it has become a bit of an issue.

She uses a separate utensil for every food item she preps.  While I know this can cut out food poison she just leaves them a at her arse, never in the sink or close to it.  Same will all the stuff she had opened, none back in the fridge.  Cupboard doors and drawers open.  It is mental as other than the kitchen she is a tidy freak.

On a few occasions after eating I start to head to do my half of the bargain she will say "Don't get upset when you go in there" who h is code fir "I left the place like a fucking tip and even though I know I did I made no attempt to rectify it".

One time I stopped at the living room door, turned back and sat down.  She never spoke to me that night nor all the next day as she saw the crap all still there the next tea time.

Unfortunately it is still an ongoing issue.

I feel this a wee tiny bit. If it was as bad as you describe it, I'd have murdered a few hookers or something.

[Sugar_Army]

3 minutes ago, Busta Nut said:

I feel this a wee tiny bit. If it was as bad as you describe it, I'd have murdered a few hookers or something.

Do you think the judge would let me use that as a defence?

Dishminished responsibility?

I'll get ma coat

[Loonytoons]

As she is veggie and once worked in a kitchen restaurant we have a deal. She cooks, I clean up after.
As our kitchen is currently a bit small for a dishwasher it has become a bit of an issue.
She uses a separate utensil for every food item she preps.  While I know this can cut out food poison she just leaves them a at her arse, never in the sink or close to it.  Same will all the stuff she had opened, none back in the fridge.  Cupboard doors and drawers open.  It is mental as other than the kitchen she is a tidy freak.
On a few occasions after eating I start to head to do my half of the bargain she will say "Don't get upset when you go in there" who h is code fir "I left the place like a fucking tip and even though I know I did I made no attempt to rectify it".
One time I stopped at the living room door, turned back and sat down.  She never spoke to me that night nor all the next day as she saw the crap all still there the next tea time.
Unfortunately it is still an ongoing issue.

Aye, I just don't get this at all.

If I walked into the kitchen after my better half had made a meal, without looking at the plate, I'd know exactly what was made by all the shit left lying around.

When I cook, pretty much all that is left in view is the washed dishes and a dirty pot and pan (or a pan and pot if you're going down the alphabetically route of cookware products).

Biggest bugbear* is using more than one pot to make a dish then putting it in a crueset pot to put in the oven. Three dirty pots when one would have sufficed.

*It's not my biggest bugbear by a long long way.

[Soapy FFC]

2 hours ago, Sugar_Army said:

As she is veggie and once worked in a kitchen restaurant we have a deal. She cooks, I clean up after.

As our kitchen is currently a bit small for a dishwasher it has become a bit of an issue.

She uses a separate utensil for every food item she preps.  While I know this can cut out food poison she just leaves them a at her arse, never in the sink or close to it.  Same will all the stuff she had opened, none back in the fridge.  Cupboard doors and drawers open.  It is mental as other than the kitchen she is a tidy freak.

On a few occasions after eating I start to head to do my half of the bargain she will say "Don't get upset when you go in there" who h is code fir "I left the place like a fucking tip and even though I know I did I made no attempt to rectify it".

One time I stopped at the living room door, turned back and sat down.  She never spoke to me that night nor all the next day as she saw the crap all still there the next tea time.

Unfortunately it is still an ongoing issue.

I know the feeling. When I cook first thing I do is empty the dishwasher so I can fill it up as I use things. I tidy up as I prepare and cook, so all that's left when I serve is the plates and cutlery being used for eating. Whereas, after she cooks it's a battle zone with stuff everywhere and nothing put back in fridge or cupboards. The only stuff removed from the dishwasher is the things she needed, everything else is left, so first thing I need to do when I clean up is empty the dishwasher. It all does bug me ever so slightly. But most of all it's not emptying the dishwasher that bugs me most. 

[scottsdad]

8 hours ago, Raidernation said:

You should watch ‘murcan’s use cutlery (or silverware as they call it, even when it’s plastic)
I constantly get compliments on how I can use a knife and fork in “combination” nut just hack my food to bits then shovel it in with a fork only.

Meldrew? Is that you? 

[Jacksgranda]

9 hours ago, RH33 said:

I was talking about cutlery.

When asked names kids, age order from oldest.....

My wife sometimes goes through all six names before she settles on the correct one, although most times it's just the four girls' names.

As for the grandchildren...

[velo army]

7 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

My wife sometimes goes through all six names before she settles on the correct one, although most times it's just the four girls' names.

As for the grandchildren...

My ma used to do this when I was getting a row. All of the male names (including my da, uncle and the fucking dog) would be gone through before she settled on mine. 

[Jacksgranda]

You also knew you were in bother when your full name was shouted out the door...

[Left Back]

5 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

You also knew you were in bother when your full name was shouted out the door...

Why are you using the past tense?

[philpy]

Must be a woman thing not putting stuff away as you go. Mine is the same. Goes on the defensive if I mention stuff getting left out. Same with not wiping things down.

[Theroadlesstravelled]

1 hour ago, philpy said:

Must be a woman thing not putting stuff away as you go. Mine is the same. Goes on the defensive if I mention stuff getting left out. Same with not wiping things down.

 

Question, does your wife wipe your arse?