Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[scottsdad]

When they bring back Big Brother, they should get all the P&B singletons in the house together. 

[jimbaxters]

5 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

When they bring back Big Brother, they should get all the P&B singletons in the house together. 

It would have to be completely in text, as they've probably forgotten how to communicate verbally.

[Central Belt Caley]

52 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

When they bring back Big Brother, they should get all the P&B singletons in the house together. 

I’m backing Richey Edwards to win it all and go onto stardom

[RH33]

Just now, Central Belt Caley said:

I’m backing Richey Edwards to win it all and go onto stardom

A leaked sex tape would propel me to stardom.

[Florentine_Pogen]

2 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

Because that would completely go against their raison d'etre of avoiding responsibility and transferring blame...

Tell me, Mr. Granda sir, when and where exactly did you meet my wife ?

[Central Belt Caley]

2 hours ago, RH33 said:

A leaked sex tape would propel me to stardom.

I’ll keep an eye on the NSFW forum for the thread

[The Minertaur]

It was her pals birthday last week and she hasn't gotten them a gift yet. She's seeing them next week and has asked me everyday now for 2 weeks what I think she should get her pal.

I've suggested a pile of things.  Afternoon tea voucher. Restaurant voucher. Tickets to a show. I even went on her instagram and found a random cookie shop she likes that she used to live next to in London that would deliver to her new home (Aberdeenshire).  

"I just don't understand why you can't help" was the last thing I heard my wife say as I walked out the room. How the f**k am I meant to know what to get your pal when I don't even know what I'd get my friends?!

[Mark Connolly]

5 hours ago, scottsdad said:

When they bring back Big Brother, they should get all the P&B singletons in the house together. 

I'm wondering how the general public will react to a group of folk sharing a pint, while discussing the correct terms for Scottish breakfast items

[Boo Khaki]

1 hour ago, Mark Connolly said:

I'm wondering how the general public will react to a group of folk sharing a pint, while discussing the correct terms for Scottish breakfast items

Probably by bombarding Twitter with spittle-flecked rants about deviants who call it a "roll on sausage".

[TxRover]

1 hour ago, Boo Khaki said:

Probably by bombarding Twitter with spittle-flecked rants about deviants who call it a "roll on sausage".

Sounds like some sort of deviant sexual act performed in unsavoury portions of Dundee.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 minute ago, TxRover said:

Sounds like some sort of deviant sexual act performed in unsavoury portions of Dundee.

This sentence suggests there are savoury portions of Dundee.

[Hedgecutter]

Places things in cupboards whereby rarely-used objects are balanced on top of items that get moved every day (e.g. tea / sugar jars).  The concept of gravity appears to have gone out the window.

[thomas]

55 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Places things in cupboards whereby rarely-used objects are balanced on top of items that get moved every day (e.g. tea / sugar jars).  The concept of gravity appears to have gone out the window.

Did you marry my mum? Every cupboard packed like the foundations of a crumbling English school.

[coprolite]

On 10/09/2023 at 10:23, Hedgecutter said:

Places things in cupboards whereby rarely-used objects are balanced on top of items that get moved every day (e.g. tea / sugar jars).  The concept of gravity appears to have gone out the window.

We've compact and bijou kitchen cupboards which means that stacking efficiently is important. Like goes with like, with smaller things inside bigger things.

So it's obvious a small round tub will fit in a larger round tub, and that stacking midsize rectangle, round tub, larger rectangular tub is going to be unstable and take up too much space. Or at least i'd have thought it was obvious. If not at the point when they first fall over, then at least when she has to hold them up to shut the door. But apparently not obvious, until i open the door and everything falls out. 

Then, apparently a normal sized dinner plate is appropriate to use instead of a storage tub to keep leftovers in in the fridge. Offence was aggravated by using the last cling film, not being arsed getting more, or texting me to get more at the shop along with her fizzy wine (which she did remember, funnily) and using tin foil instead. So balanced in the fridge on top of half a tub of mushrooms there were two foil covered dinner plates with mystery contents. I needed space so investigated. Plate 1- approx 22mm from the end of a home bake baguette, partially hacked off with blunt knife or nail scissors. Plate 2- two uneven small slices of cooked aubergine. 

I can feel my lower eyelid twitching as i type. Don't know how much more i can take. 

[Florentine_Pogen]

13 minutes ago, coprolite said:

We've compact and bijou kitchen cupboards which means that stacking efficiently is important. Like goes with like, with smaller things inside bigger things.

So it's obvious a small round tub will fit in a larger round tub, and that stacking midsize rectangle, round tub, larger rectangular tub is going to be unstable and take up too much space. Or at least i'd have thought it was obvious. If not at the point when they first fall over, then at least when she has to hold them up to shut the door. But apparently not obvious, until i open the door and everything falls out. 

Then, apparently a normal sized dinner plate is appropriate to use instead of a storage tub to keep leftovers in in the fridge. Offence was aggravated by using the last cling film, not being arsed getting more, or texting me to get more at the shop along with her fizzy wine (which she did remember, funnily) and using tin foil instead. So balanced in the fridge on top of half a tub of mushrooms there were two foil covered dinner plates with mystery contents. I needed space so investigated. Plate 1- approx 22mm from the end of a home bake baguette, partially hacked off with blunt knife or nail scissors. Plate 2- two uneven small slices of cooked aubergine. 

I can feel my lower eyelid twitching as i type. Don't know how much more i can take. 

I'm nominating this for a Pulitzer Prize.......................'Magnificent Observational Non-fiction' category.

[Central Belt Caley]

On 10/09/2023 at 11:21, thomas said:

Did you marry my mum? Every cupboard packed like the foundations of a crumbling English school.

Must be a thing for women of a certain age, I was back staying at my parents for a few days last week while my bathroom was being done. Every cupboard is like a game of fucking Jenga. 
 

Had a good laugh though, she said “we don’t use the George Foreman grill often, too much hassle getting it out” I open the cupboard and every single piece of Tupperware she owns is stacked on top of it 

[RH33]

15 minutes ago, Central Belt Caley said:

Must be a thing for women of a certain age, I was back staying at my parents for a few days last week while my bathroom was being done. Every cupboard is like a game of fucking Jenga. 
 

Had a good laugh though, she said “we don’t use the George Foreman grill often, too much hassle getting it out” I open the cupboard and every single piece of Tupperware she owns is stacked on top of it 

When I was north I was like mum why have you more tins of food than you'll ever use? Heaps of them. Stocking up for Dounreay exploding or something.

[strichener]

23 hours ago, RH33 said:

When I was north I was like mum why have you more tins of food than you'll ever use? Heaps of them. Stocking up for Dounreay exploding or something.

She's probably working on the assumption that you'll be there for a few weeks whilst the latest car is in the garage. 

[Raidernation]

Having been single since Mrs. RN#3 died in 2013 there are a lot of advantages I found being so (plus some downsides)

Right now, fresh out of hospital and pretty useless to do much it would be nice to have someone here to help (and TBH look after me a bit)

[Jimmy Shaker]

Really? Thirteen days?  Anyway.

There's a tape measure on the floor of the bathroom. Just lying in the middle of the floor. I know it doesn't live in that room, or even belong in there. There's no logical reason for it being in the vicinity. I also know I didn't drop it. 

It has been there since Sunday evening. I dunno if this is laziness on her part, as she's walked around it about two dozen times since dropping it there, or if this is some kind of art installation, or what. Will keep you up to date on how long it stays there because I'm not picking it up.

Also - used teabags have been found this week in the following locations...

- in the ceramic resting spoon used for ladels, big spoons, etc; 
- in an otherwise clean cereal bowl hauled off the draining rack next to the sink;
- in a pan;
- on a slice of loaf;
- on an empty crisp packet;
- on top of another tea bag on the worktop.

Literally everywhere but the fucking bin.