Work colleagues

[Honest_Man#1]

6 hours ago, BFTD said:

I can't have been the only one who got this far and pictured this kind of thing  

As someone who’s only ever worked in an open style office, I find these quite appealing tbh. Less inane chat with people and more potential for skiving on P&B without being noticed. That being said I could see why it might get boring.

[Theroadlesstravelled]

9 hours ago, BFTD said:

I can't have been the only one who got this far and pictured this kind of thing  

Work w**k danger scale - 3/10

[scottsdad]

The auditors are in looking over my wife's department. 

She is at home today and one of these auditors called her 10 minutes ago on Teams asking to see copies of contracts that are held in the office. 

Wife: I'm not in the office today. I can get you these on Tuesday.

Auditor: I was really hoping to get these today

back and forth for 10 minutes. Last thing on a Friday afternoon, trying to pressure the wife to hop in the car and drive 40 minutes to work to pick up and scan some files. 

The wife was sympathetic...but said no. 

[thistledo]

13 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

The auditors are in looking over my wife's department. 

She is at home today and one of these auditors called her 10 minutes ago on Teams asking to see copies of contracts that are held in the office. 

Wife: I'm not in the office today. I can get you these on Tuesday.

Auditor: I was really hoping to get these today

back and forth for 10 minutes. Last thing on a Friday afternoon, trying to pressure the wife to hop in the car and drive 40 minutes to work to pick up and scan some files. 

The wife was sympathetic...but said no. 

This is just auditors all over, soulless robot b*****ds, unable to comprehend it's nigh on the weekend and no one gives a flying f**k about anything work related. 

 

[scottsdad]

Just now, thistledo said:

This is just auditors all over, soulless robot b*****ds, unable to comprehend it's nigh on the weekend and no one gives a flying f**k about anything work related. 

 

It isn't just that. In the call the woman admitted she has had 4 weeks to get these files, but just decided this morning to get them. Then contacted my wife by email at 2pm asking for her to drop everything she was doing and scan these files before 5pm. The wife is a fair old distance from these files and had no intention (even if she was in the office with the files at her fingertips) of stopping all her other work and doing this. 

[itzdrk]

It's more work than colleagues this.

They told us they are moving office from the city centre to Paisley (we do not WFH) but they wanted to keep us so we would be getting a pay rise (we did not get one last year) so we got told today it's 4%, and after working it out between us all everyone in my team will be worse off due to travel and the extra unpaid time commuting.  The whole team is leaving.  

I'd already started making moves and got an email notification on my watch asking me if I'm free for an interview on Monday within about 5 minutes of us finishing discussing whether it was enough for us to stay.  

Gonna be a fun talk for the last guy in the team when they resign 

[scottsdad]

Just now, itzdrk said:

It's more work than colleagues this.

They told us they are moving office from the city centre to Paisley (we do not WFH) but they wanted to keep us so we would be getting a pay rise (we did not get one last year) so we got told today it's 4%, and after working it out between us all everyone in my team will be worse off due to travel and the extra unpaid time commuting.  The whole team is leaving.  

I'd already started making moves and got an email notification on my watch asking me if I'm free for an interview on Monday within about 5 minutes of us finishing discussing whether it was enough for us to stay.  

Gonna be a fun talk for the last guy in the team when they resign 

Hope you find something better than you have. 

 

[Thorongil]

1 hour ago, thistledo said:

This is just auditors all over, soulless robot b*****ds, unable to comprehend it's nigh on the weekend and no one gives a flying f**k about anything work related. 

 

Too many people are scared of auditors. You’ve got to stand up to them and not allow mission/scope creep. Unless it’s specifically finance, they don’t tend to understand what they are auditing. 
 

I’ve been through countless audits. Internal, PwC, KPMG, Deloitte. Always they try to go beyond their bounds and try to impose nonsense which has no purpose. You’ve got to be willing to tell them No and tell them why. Eventually you wear them down.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 minute ago, Thorongil said:

Too many people are scared of auditors. You’ve got to stand up to them and not allow mission/scope creep. Unless it’s specifically finance, they don’t tend to understand what they are auditing. 
 

I’ve been through countless audits. Internal, PwC, KPMG, Deloitte. Always they try to go beyond their bounds and try to impose nonsense which has no purpose. You’ve got to be willing to tell them No and tell them why. Eventually you wear them down.

That seems quite new. I was always used to being asked about stuff by auditors pretty routinely. But nowadays everyone has a fit.

If I've made a mess of something, big deal. As long as I'm not found emptying the till, what can they do?

[GaryMc93]

No longer work in finance so thankfully no dealings with auditors this year. However the external auditors we normally got sent were always young and so would ask stupid questions they didn’t even understand. You’d then give them an answer only for them to ask the same question reworded or loads of follow up questions.

They also seem to work ridiculous hours and so think everyone else does too. Last year one of them asked in the morning for a meeting with me only to then send a Teams invite for half 5 which wasn’t ideal since I usually finish at 4. Obviously said meeting then only lasted 5 mins.

No idea if internal audit is more interesting but external just appears to be soul destroying work for what is essentially for them a tick box exercise.

[mizfit]

I work with someone who has absolutely no interest in using his brain.

Today I got a teams message from him, basically saying he couldn’t be fucked reviewing what he was looking at, and because id previously dealt with it, he was leaving it to me to sort.

[BFTD]

4 hours ago, scottsdad said:

The auditors are in looking over my wife's department.

2 minutes ago, mizfit said:

I work with someone who has absolutely no interest in using his brain.

Today I got a teams message from him, basically saying he couldn’t be fucked reviewing what he was looking at, and because id previously dealt with it, he was leaving it to me to sort.

We can file this under "underappreciated geniuses" with the Professor and a surprising number of workshy chancers on this thread who've established they can sack off work with no consequences.

I'd sign up for their newsletter, but they'd probably get me to write it myself.

[die hard doonhamer]

1 hour ago, mizfit said:

I work with someone who has absolutely no interest in using his brain.

Today I got a teams message from him, basically saying he couldn’t be fucked reviewing what he was looking at, and because id previously dealt with it, he was leaving it to me to sort.

You still working in the same place? If so, this does not surprise me in the slightest. Probably someone that’s been there for donkey’s years as well. 

[mizfit]

You still working in the same place? If so, this does not surprise me in the slightest. Probably someone that’s been there for donkey’s years as well. 

Correct and correct.

[hk blues]

11 hours ago, GaryMc93 said:

No longer work in finance so thankfully no dealings with auditors this year. However the external auditors we normally got sent were always young and so would ask stupid questions they didn’t even understand. You’d then give them an answer only for them to ask the same question reworded or loads of follow up questions.

They also seem to work ridiculous hours and so think everyone else does too. Last year one of them asked in the morning for a meeting with me only to then send a Teams invite for half 5 which wasn’t ideal since I usually finish at 4. Obviously said meeting then only lasted 5 mins.

No idea if internal audit is more interesting but external just appears to be soul destroying work for what is essentially for them a tick box exercise.

I don't know, it sounds perfect to me.

[GTG_03]

12 hours ago, GaryMc93 said:

No longer work in finance so thankfully no dealings with auditors this year. However the external auditors we normally got sent were always young and so would ask stupid questions they didn’t even understand. You’d then give them an answer only for them to ask the same question reworded or loads of follow up questions.

They also seem to work ridiculous hours and so think everyone else does too. Last year one of them asked in the morning for a meeting with me only to then send a Teams invite for half 5 which wasn’t ideal since I usually finish at 4. Obviously said meeting then only lasted 5 mins.

No idea if internal audit is more interesting but external just appears to be soul destroying work for what is essentially for them a tick box exercise.

You make that sound like a win. You accepted a meeting out with working hours, you lost you big feartie.

[jimbaxters]

Wait to you hear this. Husband and wife work with us and he calls in sick this morning. The result was that his wife got a lift in with us. She got in the car and complained she had a cold but not the bug her man has. She has just left early because she isn't feeling well. When I asked how she got home as she lives nearly an hour away, I was told her husband came to pick her up. Aye, the husband who is off sick!

[BFTD]

I knew a woman years ago who was weirdly bitter about people being off work due to illness. According to her, if you were fit enough to rake a £20 note out of the gutter in front of your house, you were fit enough to go to work.

Such an oddly specific example. I still regret not asking what had happened that she found herself raking money out of gutters for a living.

[Satoshi]

Giving Atos and Capita an idea for a new disability assessment there.

I think it's far more likely she was putting the £20 note in the gutter to flush out the fakers.

Maybe she was angling for the work perfect attendance trophy.

[scottsdad]

15 hours ago, BFTD said:

I knew a woman years ago who was weirdly bitter about people being off work due to illness. According to her, if you were fit enough to rake a £20 note out of the gutter in front of your house, you were fit enough to go to work.

Such an oddly specific example. I still regret not asking what had happened that she found herself raking money out of gutters for a living.

My wife's step mother was like this. She would lecture on about how she wouldn't miss work for illness but would always go in. 

She was always giving out unwanted career advice. Her own career entirely consisted of a part time job stacking shelves in the Alloa co-op in the late 80s.